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pixelwisp-archive · 4 years ago

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i want more orimakki 😩 !!! pls answer these q's i rly wanna know 🥺

Flora I love you so MUCH oh my god thank you for feeding me TT-TT (also I'm ABSOLUTELY SENDING THIS BACK FOR YOU AND OSAMU I WANNA KNOWWWW)

I’m gonna answer these Interview style because it sounds fun to do and because I can😌

This ended up taking me SO long because, per usual, I got way too carried away lmao I'm so sorry

Makki is blue and I'm orange! (Interviewer is red lmao)

1. Who loves flower crowns more?

“Ori, for sure”

“I’m bad at making them though, so I make Hiro make them for me”

Makki looks at her like😒 and she laughs - he bites back a smile.

2. Who is the one who likes to cuddle?

"Hiro, for sure - I get a little weird about physical affection"

"She hates me"

"That's not true bub, you're just so hot"

"Thanks babe, I think you're pretty cute too"

Ori rolls her eyes and elbows him. "Next question"

3. Who has awful taste in music?

*simultaneously* "Hiro" "Me"

4. Who is the meme lover?

"I run a relatively popular account on instagram"

"I wake up every day to at least 30 new memes that he's spammed my phone with"

5. How did their second date go?

Ori starts laughing as Makki groans.

"He tried to take me to a park for a picnic-"

"Listen it would have been romantic but there was this fucking-"

"raccoon coming to grab our food-"

"and of course Ori is a dumbass ("HEY") and was ready to pet the literal wild animal ("he was so cute :(") so I tried to like shoo it away but-"

"It bit him and we ended up just sharing a cheese stick in the hospital"

"It was a disaster, to say the least"

"It's still one of my favorite dates, though"

"You just like seeing me in pain"

Ori laughs. "Not True!"

6. How many children do they want/have?

"17"

"absolutely not"

"we've talked about having two, maybe three"

"with a couple years in between. Gotta make sure they bully each other. It's important for character growth"

"We'll be sure to bully the oldest so they're not a weirdo like their mom"

Ori nods in agreement.

7. Who hides the weapons?

"I have a knife collection, does that count? I keep them in a display case on the wall"

8. Who is the better dancer?

Makki laughs. "Oh, me for sure"

"YOU?"

"Have you seen your dancing babe?"

"Have you seen YOUR dancing? What the hell is this?" *imitates this god awful windmill move*

"...okay, valid. We're both bad."

9. Do/Did they have a theme wedding?

"We're not married, marriage is for chumps."

Makki sighs. "We're not married *yet*."

"Gross, tryna tie me down stinky?"

"Been trying for years, bub"

Ori blushes, and looks away to hide her smile.

"...maybe"

Makki grins and leans in. "What?"

"I said maybe. I just-"

"I know, baby. Maybe is all I need."

10. What do their parents think of them dating?

"My parents are in love with Ori."

"My parents love him too!"

"Even your dads?"

"Yeah, my dads love you"

"Your step dad doesn't seem to like me much"

Ori furrows her brows. "which one?"

"I'm sorry, did you say 'which one?'"

"Oh, sorry. I have three dads. My mom, my dad, and then their husbands"

"I don't know, your mom's husband doesn't seem like he's warmed up to me"

"It took him years to even warm up to me. He shared his pot roast recipe with you, remember? that was his seal of approval"

Ori giggles while Makki looks at her suspiciously but eventually mumbles "if you say so"

11. Are they a super sappy couple?

"She clowns the shit out of me whenever I try"

Ori laughs. "I'm sorry I just don't know how to act when I'm embarrassed"

"I'm trying to woo you, not embarrass you, you jackass"

"*woo* me?!" Ori cackles

"I don't know why I even try"

(She goes up to him later, and takes his face in her hands, her demeanor more serious than before

"Hey, bub. You know I don't mean *you* embarrass me right? I just get awkward about affection"

He sighs and nuzzles into her palm

"I know you didn't, it's ok. I just love you too much sometimes, and its hard to reel it in"

"I love you too. So so much"

"I am gonna ask you to marry me someday. You know that?"

"I know, and my simp ass is gonna say yes. How gross is that"

Makki rolls his eyes, a smile on his face

"So gross")

12. How did they get together?

"We danced around each other for like 2 years"

"it was painful"

"Iwaizumi finally beat the confidence into me enough to kiss her"

"I don't know that you ever actually asked me out"

"Really? Oh, well then, wanna date?"

"Nah, you're a little weird"

"Damn ok, guess I'll call Mattsun" Ori laughs

13. Who asked the other to get married?

*more gagging noises while Makki sighs*

"It'll be me, clearly"

14. Who stays up too late and makes stupid jokes?

"Hiro. 100%"

"Hey, you stay up late too!"

"I know, but my jokes are always funny"

"rude"

15. Who is the nerd?

"Oh my god it's Ori"

"Hey, I converted you, fellow nerd. plus, you have a knife collection - if that's not nerd shit idk what is"

"touché"

16. Who knows the most obscure facts?

"Hiro"

"Did you know that penguins have knees?"

"I do now"

17. Who makes the other a flower crown?

"Hiro! His fingers are better suited for the weaving, I have weirdly small hands"

"Hey, I like your hands"

"Awh, babe<3"

18. Who likes to read?

"I do! If I'm not reading a physical book I'm always reading something on my phone!"

19. Who bothers the other person while the other person reads?

Makki grins, pointing to himself while Ori shoots him a playful glare

20. Who tutors the other?

"Hiro is actually wicked smart. He an invaluable study buddy"

"Ori is the definition of a bimbo"

"Nah I'm the shebo, I'm not hot enough to make bimbo status"

"Excuse me? Consensus says you are both very hot AND definitely belonging in the bimbo category"

"Consensus? What consensus"

Makki smiles, a little too innocently. "Group Chat"

"Oh my god"

21. Do they have similar taste in movies?

"Ori enjoys literally everything so it's really easy to find common ground"

"We change it up a lot, but we're usually end up with either a horror movie or we binge an anime"

22. How do their personalities compliment each other?

"We're both fucking weirdos"

"Yeah, and Hiro's calm complements my loud - he grounds me when I need it"

"goes both ways - I get loud too. Feelings are loud sometimes and that's ok"

Ori snorts. "Ok, dr.phil"

23. How do they tell everyone that they are going to be having a kid/adopting a child soon?

"Is like, texting them an option?"

"We'll take em' out for breadsticks or something"

"Oh lets have them open up like a lil onesie, our moms would die"

Ori laughs "What's it gonna say on it"

"'You're both grandmas now. Congrats, you old bitches'"

Ori wheezes, folding in on herself in her seat

"That's so fucking stupid, we are absolutely doing that"

24. Who has better fashion sense?

"Look at us. Look at how we're dressed"

"There are holes in my shirt"

"and that's his nice shirt"

"In my defense, it had holes when I bought it"

"So holes are fashionable now?"

"Apparently"

"Hobo chic"

25. Who will punch someone out if they are rude to their partner?

"Ori is a doormat-"

"RUDE"

"-Lemme finish babe - until it comes to her people. If someone's rude to me she is ready to throw hands in seconds flat"

"damn straight...would you fight for me?"

"Of course. you think I wouldn't?"

"Just making sure<3"

26. What songs do they sing together in the vehicle?

"EVERYTHING"

27. What other couple would your otp get along with?

Ori perks up "Flora and Osamu!!! I love the both of them so much, they're so cute together too"

"They're great people, plus Osamu gives us free food and honestly, what else do you need in a friend"

Ori slaps Makki's shoulder "Stop acting like you only like Osamu for his cooking"

"I'm only kidding!"

28. Who likes to prank the other?

"Ori does this thing where she'll do something nice for me and then go "get pranked!" when I notice"

"I do indeed do that"

"I am not kind. Sometimes I'll just, buy an air horn. And press it. while she's asleep."

Ori glares at Makki

"he does indeed do that"

29. Who is the one who loves to take pictures?

"I do"

"He's alwaysss taking pictures, but I hate getting my picture taken and he's super respectful of that"

"...yeah"

(Later, when Ori's stepped out for a minute

"I do take pics of her. She doesn't know it but I do"

Makki starts to show off an album full of candids of Ori

Makki sighs, a soft smile on his face "She's so pretty"

"Don't tell her about this please, she'll murder me")

30. How would they react if they found out they were soul mates?

"Oof"

"That's what you'd say? Oof?"

"It's an oof for you. stuck? with me? forever?"

"you doofus, there's no one else I'd rather have"

"you little fucker, you're gonna make me cry"

makki laughs and squeezes her hand "love you stinky"

Ori sniffles "Yeah I love you too I guess"

31. Where would they live?

"right now we live in an apartment in Osaka-"

"but eventually we wanna by a house. We're thinking of going back home to Miyagi"

"We miss the small town atmosphere"

32. What type of dragon would they own, if they could have one?

"oh my god, a little shoulder dragon would be so cute"

"ok but imagine how much money we'd save with something we could ride to work"

"shit, you're so right"

33. If they were both vampires, what type of vampires would they be?

"There are types of vampires?" looks to Makki, Makki shrugs

"Is dying an option?"

34. What would they dress up as, for Halloween?

"we do themed couple ones but like, not sexy ones"

"yeah, like for instance our friends went as a fireman and his girl was a dalmation, and we were-"

"bob ross and his panting!"

"...she was bob ross"

"this year I'm trying to get him to dress as mothman so I can dress up as a lamp"

35. Can they name each other’s favourite food?

"Ori loves chicken to the point where it's almost concerning"

"Hiro likes cream puffs"

"No no, they're Profiteroles"

"they're the same thing babe"

"but profiteroles sound so much fancier"

36. Do they have pet names for one another?

"The usual"

"Babe, baby-"

"stinky, fuckass-"

"bubs-"

"doofus, dumbass, nerd"

"nothing crazy"

37. How do they cheer each other up?

"I swear to god he's a psychic - he always knows exactly what I need. Sometimes I need space, sometimes I just need a hug, other times he'll have a whole self care night in prepared for me when I get home"

"Ori always knows what to do. She's not a snuggler but she will let me hold her for hours if it meant making me feel better. Honestly most of the time she holds me because - well, boobs"

"Takahiro!"

Makki laughs and jerks away as she pinches his side

38. Do they show a lot of PDA?

"I think we're not too bad. We hold hands, I'll give her the occasional kiss. She lets me wrap my arm around her sometimes"

"These questions are making me feel like a bad girlfriend. Let? :("

"hush, you're the best. You think I'd stick around if you were a bad girlfriend? Do you know how obsessed with you I am? The boys clown me for never shutting up about you even after all this time"

*Ori buries her face in her hands to hide the blush* "Oh my god you're so lame"

"That's her way of saying she loves me too :)"

39. How old were they when they got together?

"I was 22, Ori was 20"

"holy shit, almost four years?"

"Yep"

"wow"

40. Who is the one that would bring the puppy home?

"Me!"

"She's done it before. She named her Ripley"

41. Can they do yoga couple’s poses?

both start cackling "Absolutely not. We can try but it would be a disaster"

42. What is their song?

"Oh its-"

Castaways from the Backyardigans starts playing from Makki's phone as he grins.

"-our song is not Castaways, Hiro"

"It could be. We could decide it is right now"

"We are not making our song Castaways"

"oh c'moooonnnnn, it's a bop!"

Ori laughs "Its-"

"Your song by Elton John. It was playing when we kissed for the first time"

Ori covers her smile with her hand, her eyes soft as she looks at Makki

43. What does their room look like?

"A mess right now, Ori had to find an outfit for today so there are clothes everywhere"

Ori grins sheepishly

44. Who would be the one to kill zombies while the other keeps them grounded?

"Hiro would probably do the killing, I would be moral support"

"I dunno babe, I think if you snapped you could totally become a badass"

"You think so?"

"Hell yeah, I've seen you get mad at Mattsun enough times to know you can get scary as hell when you wanna"

45. Who makes the other breakfast in bed?

"we've done it for each other, it depends on the day to be honest"

46. Who loves kids more?

"Ori"

"But the kids LOVE Hiro so much its crazy, and he's so good with them"

"I like kids well enough but they're so rude and for what"

"I find their lack of filter funny!"

"If you ever feel your ego is too big, just talk to a seven year old. They'll drag to hell and back with no hesitation"

47. Do either of them have a crazy ex?

"I dunno. Do you?"

"No. Do you?"

"Nope"

"Cool"

48. What are their favourite colours?

"Hiro's is this very specific red color"

"Ori doesn't have one, it changes all the time"

"this is true"

49. Who likes to cook?

"Oh I love cooking!"

"She does majority of the cooking but we sometimes cook together"

"he is utter chaos in the kitchen but we always have a good time, even if he make my blood pressure go through the roof"

50. Who is the forgetful one?

"Hey Ori, what'd you have for breakfast this morning."

"I- um. An Iced Coffee?"

"Final answer?"

"....yes"

"Bzzzt. Wrong. You had cereal :)"

51. Does either of them know how to fight?

"I don't mean to brag, but I've taken Tai chi lessons"

"Babe, you signed up for those lessons after we binged Avatar, and you only went to four of those classes before quitting because it was too hard"

"Those four lessons taught me enough to kick someone's ass for you though"

Ori laughs "I'm sure they did"

52. What do they do for Valentines Day?

"We have this tradition of going to the store and each of us take turns blindly picking out snacks, pajamas, and either a movie/video game/or craft project and we stay in and have a little pamper day"

"we also absolutely RAID the store next day when the candy is half off"

53. Who swears more?

"We both swear a lot to be honest"

"Oh my god we're so bad"

54. Who has the better comebacks?

"Hiro, 100%"

"Ori is quick too though"

"But you go right for the jugular"

"I'm not mean to you though"

"Oh no! I just mean with others, like Oikawa - you drag that man within an inch of his life"

Makki laughs "Oh ok yeah that's fair"

55. Who would start a fight with another parent at a bake sale?

"Me. Like I said, Ori is a doormat. She is so afraid of confrontation someone could literally spit on her and she'd apologize to them"

"It sounds so bad when you put it like that"

56. Who reads buzzfeed?

"Hiro says he does them ironically, but I'll be reading something on my phone and he'll start asking me obscure questions, and then I realize he's trying to get me to build a smoothie so he can find out with 'Desperate Houswife' I am"

"She got Gabrielle"

"Which isn't even accurate, I'm totally more of a Susan"

"You have some of Gabrielle's spice, though"

"What did you get?"

"Me? oh, I got Lynette"

"kinda accurate, actually"

57. Who is the hopeless romantic?

"I am, she makes fun of me but I know she loves it"

"I do, honestly"

58. Do either of them know how to do a handstand?

"I do!"

59. Who can rap better?

"oh god, neither of us"

"speak for yourself"

"go on babe, rap for them"

"...well I can't right now"

"exactly"

60. Do either of them want to go sky diving?

"I'd be down"

"I love the idea of it but oof, I'm too chicken shit"

61. What do they usually text about?

Makki pulls out his phone

"'hey babe, we're out of eggs' - that was Ori"

"'dog' - with a pic attached of said dog, that was from me"

"11/10, 'I hope he knows what a good boy he is', that was Ori's response"

"Then Ori ranted to me about Uraraka's character development"

"the wasted potential is appalling"

"absolutely it is. 3 hours later, from me - 'I forgot eggs'"

62. Who is the dramatic one?

"me, for sure"

"She's self aware though so its not so bad"

63. Is either one confrontational?

"Not really? We both avoid confrontation whenever possible. If something needs to be said though, I don't really have any reservations about it"

64. What is their favourite cuddle position?

"Me as the big spoon, I much prefer holding him I think, its less hot that way"

"Plus, boobs :3"

Ori groans as Makki laughs "I hate you"

65. Who are their favourite musical artist(s)?”

"Ooooh thats a toughie, we listen to so much"

66. What are their parenting styles?

"I tend to be the bad guy"

"That's not true!"

"Why do you think kids like you better? I'm the one who makes them eat veggies for a snack and you bribe them with ice cream"

"I promise we'll share the bad guy role when we have our own"

Ori narrows her eyes at Makki, sticking her tongue out at him "we better"

67. Who would be the more laid back one?

"Hiro, I get wound like a fucking top sometimes"

"You stress easily, but its ok, when you're stressed you get mean and its kinda hot"

"I'm glad my breakdowns are sexy to you"

Makki laughs "You know that's not what I meant"

68. Who listens to more vulgar music?

"Ehh, neither of us really"

"not our jam"

69. Do either of them have secrets even the other doesn’t know?

"...do you?"

"....no"

"That was suspish"

"I'm sorry did you just say 'suspish'?"

"don't change the subject! what are you hiding?"

"Nothing!! I swear"

"Pinky?"

"Pinky"

(later, while Ori's out of the studio, he shows a picture of the ring to the camera.

"So, yeah. There is one secret. I'm really bad at lying though so let's not put me on the spot like that anymore please" The man looks d a m p with sweat lmao)

70. Who is their go to couple for a double date?

"FLOSAMU, 100%. We're overdue too, I miss them!"

71. Do they tip the waiter/waitress on their date?

"Generously"

"If you don't tip you're a jackass"

72. How do they work out a fight?

"Communication is key. We often give each other the silent treatment but it usually is just to clear our heads so we can come back to talk it out"

"He's so mature when it comes to our relationship. The way he takes charge when I'm flailing and don't know what to do or how to proceed is so sexy" Ori starts fanning herself as if to emphasis her point, a teasing grin plastered on her face

73. Who brings home an illegal pet?

"Hiro will bring anything home if it's injured. It could be a snake and if he's worried its hurt I will come home to it in the bath"

"you gotta save the animals, babe"

"Most people would call a wildlife facility though, not take them to their tiny city apartment"

74. What side of the bed do each of them sleep on?

"I sleep on the left! I don't think either of us are particularly picky about it though"

"We usually wake up sprawled anyway with no clear sign of where we were before"

75. What is their favorite photo of them two together?

"There's a picture someone took of us dancing at a wedding. Ori is mid laugh in that photo and she's just - shit, she's so pretty."

"Hiro what the fuck why are you so sappy today"

"I dunno - I just think you're neat"

Ori's lips tremble a tiny bit. She sniffles. "It's my favorite photo too."

76. Who takes longer in the bathroom?

"Oh my god-"

"Okay-"

"SHE TAKES FOREVER"

"OKAY, LISTEN-"

"SHE ONLY GOES ON TIKTOK WHEN SHE GOES TO THE BATHROOM"

"I JUST GO THROUGH MY NOTIFICATIONS"

"SHE IS NEVER - STOP HITTING ME - SHE IS NEVER QUICKER THAN 30 MINUTES"

"YOU ARE SO DRAMATIC"

"DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON SHOWERS"

77. Who has more songs on their ipod?

"Hiro, I kinda keep to the stuff I know, while he's constantly adding new music"

78. What movie did they first see together?

"Uhhh I think it was-"

"It was Princess Mononoke, you were appalled when I said I hadn't seen it yet"

"Honestly I still am. How do you go through 20 years of your life without having seen Princess Mononoke?" Ori shrugs

79. What do they like to see each other in?

"nothing"

"not sure what I expected, really"

"I mean was there really any other answer?"

80. Who makes jokes during inappropriate times?

"Oh god. Both of us. We are so terrible"

"Sometimes Ori will nudge me if I'm being especially bad but she is usually the one egging me on because there is nothing cuter than her trying to hold in a laugh"

81. At what age do they discuss the possibility of children?

"We started talking about it a few months ago"

"It wouldn't be any time soon either, its just discussing the topic so we know where each of us stand"

"Yeah, there's still a lot for us to figure out"

"Like, you know, finances and getting married and stuff"

Ori bites her lip "...yeah, and stuff."

82. What do they love about each other the most?

"It's probably a cop out to say everything"

"please, you don't love everything, I'm a mess"

"but you're MY mess" Ori smiles and kicks him playfully

"This is going to sound super cheesy, but I just love his heart? He's loves so loudly and so wholly. With everyone and everything around him. He's just such a good person and it's insane to think he somehow chose to be with me, a human dumpster"

"You were so romantic until you called yourself a dumpster"

"It was getting too soft, I gotta keep my bruh girl reputation"

"You're such a dork"

83. Who is the one that sees the big picture, while the other focus’s on the small details?

"I think we're both kind of big picture people"

"No, babe, you are obsessive over minute details"

"No I'm not!"

"Everything takes you twice as long because you are constantly quadruple checking if its ok"

"..."

"and you get so stressed when you're given a project or a problem that's even the tiniest bit vague"

"well, I-"

"And don't even get me started on when you're cleaning, you always take forever because you go through every single item you've ever owned even if you know you're gonna toss or keep it"

"Okay, I feel really attacked right now" Makki laughs

84. What would they write on their partner’s social media’s for their anniversary?

"I usually go with a tried and true mixture of sappy and funny. I post a couple photo of us that I like or just a standalone of him and I give a cute little snippet talking about how lucky I am"

"Every year I just go on a rant about how much I love her. I'm always overwhelmed on anniversaries so I keyboard smash my way through the post."

85. Who is bad at math?

"Me, I don't understand any of it. Hiro is actually pretty good at it though"

86. Who googles everything?

"I've caught her trying to google where her glasses are"

"OKAY to be FAIR I was googling to see what the most likely places would be, it was just to give me ideas"

"And where were they?"

"*sigh* in the fridge"

"why?"

"because I was on autopilot and I assumed it was the butter"

87. Who does stuff on impulse?

"Oh, me. Ori does sometimes but she always regrets whatever she impulse did"

"its normally shopping and then I'm sad because I'm broke again"

88. How do they comfort each other when they are helpless to do anything about the situation?

"honestly? We learned this the hard way, but...just being there, letting them know they can lean on you when they need to. Being a pillar and giving them the space and comfort to let them tell you what they need and how you can help. Communication is so important in a relationship"

"You said you learned that the hard way? What do you mean by that?"

Ori and Makki share a look

"It's a long story. Another time, maybe"

89. What is an inside joke they have?

They both immediately start laughing

"Are you also thinking-"

"Yes! What about-"

"*incoherent wheezing*"

"well there's the-"

"or the-"

"oh my god remember-"

all the sentences go unfinished, laughter dissolving any chance of you ever figuring any of them out.

90. Who makes the other smile with almost no effort at all?

"I think its mutual, sometimes we will literally just look at each other and we'll smile without even realizing it."

"We're so gross"

"Ugh, I know." But they smile at each other

91. What is their favourite holiday?

"New years! Christmas is always nice but its stressful with gift giving. New years is always stress free and a good time, plus Ori loves visiting the shrines the next day"

"It's so peaceful, and seeing everyone pay their respects fills me with an overwhelming appreciation for humanity."

92. Who is the one that is calm and collected while the other is angry and destructive?

Ori pouts.

"I'm the angry one. I know I am. I'm a menace"

"You're not a menace babe, you just feel a little more than others"

"Are you like high right now or something? What has got you so wise and therapist-y"

"Love." Makki wiggles his eyebrows as she scoffs, her soft giggles betraying the eye roll

93. What is their favourite board game to play?

"Clue!"

94. Who accidentally sets something on fire?

"Okay, it's me, it's happened more than once too"

"She doesn't know the first thing about safety in the kitchen"

"I want to argue so bad but I just know I can't" she sighs

95. Who has the car ready while the other is robbing the store?

"I'm robbing. Ori would get distracted"

"valid"

96. What artist/group did they go to for their first concert?

"Mother Mother"

"It was INSANE"

97. Who sleep talks?

"Hiro does" Ori starts giggling, pulls up the sleep app on her phone

"Wanna listen?"

98. Who is the more social one?

"Oh, me, definitely. She is more talkative but Ori rarely initiated conversation with new people or if she's in a new environment at all"

99. What are their karaoke songs?

"I have to be absolutely trashed before we even attempts Karaoke but we do a duet and its either Bohemian Rhapsody or one of our cheesy love songs"

100. Who would get up on stage and make a fool of themselves just to make the other laugh?

"Hiro!! He does it all the time and I love him for it"

"Awh, love you too babe"

"And that's a wrap!"

Makki looks at Ori, grabbing her hand and instinctively intertwining their hands together. "Ready to go, stinky?"

Ori smiles, bringing their entangled hands up to lips as she presses a soft kiss to his skin.

"Ready."

#orimakki #whispers #familiars #flora #this was so fun and it took me SO LONG because i decided to make it stupid complicated lmao #but I'm so happy with it its cheesy as hell and I don't even care lmao #thank you for sending this in flora!! sweet angel you are too good to me :D<3

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alolowrites · 5 years ago

Text

Late Night Visitor

Summary: A mysterious stranger visits your balcony and accidentally leaves behind a priceless jewelry that they stole from a museum.

Author’s Note: I’m pleased to share the next story for @bnhabookclub Hero Camp Bingo event. The prompt I used was “Crime AU” It took a while getting this done because of work stress and having slight writer’s block (plus I kept changing the story’s direction). But really, it was because of how stressed/tired I’ve been the past few weeks. So, really sorry if it took forever posting another story.

It’s also my first time writing for Hawks, so hopefully I did him justice! He was the first character that popped up when working with this prompt. Please enjoy!!

Word Count: 2.3K+

“Ah! Hot, hot!”

Well, isn’t this just great? Nothing like accidentally burning your tongue during dinner to remind yourself how impatient you are—damn hunger. One hand flails to cool down your mouth. Steam dances above the hearty bowl of curry rice, the sweet smell of caramelized onions greeting your nose with a soft kiss. Bless the local 7-11 markets for selling quick and easy meals.

You sit criss-cross applesauce on the fluffy gray rug and scroll through social media for the millionth time. It’s been a slow weekend as yesterday’s news is recycled for today’s news. A random show plays on the television, but you don’t pay attention to the white noise. All your focus is on the phone, yet you still reach for another bite from your meal. How the rug stays clean during dinner nights at home is a complete mystery.

Sipping on your drink, you spare a glance at the balcony and do a double-take—a stranger is crouching outside. You choke, “Oh shit!”

Without thinking, you scurry behind the gray couch, not caring if the rug becomes messy. Your pounding heart is like a concert bass drum which echoes around the small apartment. The sound drowns out the show’s mindlessly chatter. Frightened eyes peek around the corner, and you whip back in full regret.

The person is still outside. Their back is facing toward the balcony door, and they are wearing a form-fitting black hoodie. Hands search for your phone, but they come up empty. Panic finally settles in when you realize it’s on the coffee table. Great, you moan as your head softly hits against the furniture—is the door even locked?

You’re faced with a dilemma: Do you stay out of sight until the stranger leaves or risk being seen while getting help? After much deliberation, you swallow a hard pill and growl at the ceiling, “If I’m doing this, I better not die!”

You’re like a soldier crawling through the mud with a drill sergeant yelling down your neck. You snatch the phone off the table, but make the mistake of looking up at the sliding door. Everything comes to a screeching halt as curious gold eyes stare into your timid ones. The mysterious visitor becomes more intimidating thanks to the balaclava mask—it covers the lower half of their face.

The intense staring contest last for an eternity. You nearly rip off the loose strands on your rug when the stranger approaches closer; they stop when you back away. Taking pity on you, they jump over the balcony and disappear into the quiet night.

A sense of relief washes over you.

Who knows what could have happened to you? Maybe your mom was right about learning some self-defense; the pepper spray is not enough. As you stand and dust off your pants, a shiny light catches your attention; it’s coming from outside. You go against your better judgment and tiptoe toward the balcony.

Your jaw immediately falls to the floor when you spot an exquisite ruby pendant. A sparkling round diamond sits above the bright red gemstone, a slight tint of purple hue lurking underneath. Even the platinum metal chain carries an air of luxury. It’s as if the gods carefully hand-crafted this entire jewelry themselves. In short, it is simple but elegant.

Sliding the door, you wonder if this is some kind of trap. After checking your surroundings, you swiftly pick up the accessory and snort, “Thank you for making me feel poor.”

Fingers glide along the gemstone’s perfect curves as you gaze at the sleeping neighborhood. Your mind goes wild: Who was the person with those haunting golden eyes? Why did they come to your balcony? And why in the world did they leave behind a beautiful masterpiece?

You have so many questions but very few answers.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

“So, you didn’t call the police?”

“Um…no…?”

“And why not?”

“It was a mixture of being both scared and stupid.”

“Oh my—” Fuyumi pinches the bridge of her nose. You twiddle your fingers like a guilty child and sink further into the booth. Fuyumi had her suspicions when you texted her to meet up at the usual coffee shop near your apartment. It’s your go-to place whenever you’ve done something questionable, which is ninety-nine percent of the time. Plus, the café whips up the perfect batch of castella—her favorite pastry.

Customers stroll in and out of the coffee shop as piano music plays softly in the background. Roasted coffee beans linger in the air, tempting your nose with its delicious aroma. Out of habit, you push the castella closer to Fuyumi as if that would help soften the blow. She exhales, “Next time, please call the police.”

“Yes, mother,” you mumble much to Fuyumi’s displeasure, but she lets it slide. With the worst over, you bounce straight up and tap the table with an air of excitement. “Oh! Here’s the best part though, besides surviving a break-in—”

“The person was outside your balcony.”

“—close enough, but not really the point, okay?” Fuyumi rolls her eyes, and you fish out your phone to show her a picture. She takes a closer look as you ramble off. “Anyway, my late-night visitor left behind this gorgeous pendant! Why they were carrying this around is beyond me, and so carelessly too. I’m no jeweler, but I’m pretty sure those stones are worth a fortune—still beautiful, though.”

“Yeah, and stolen!” The white-haired teacher hisses. You blink, wholly baffled at her extreme reaction. Fuyumi whips out her iPhone with two fingers flying above the screen. She shoves it toward you, your eyes skimming through the article. The news delivers a sharp slap across your face as the realization sinks in.

Oh no…

Fuyumi bites her lip, “It’s The Grand Droplet, a priceless heirloom rumored to offer infinite life and prosperity. Police are saying the notorious thief, Hawks, stole the pendant last night from the Yutaka Jewelry Museum.” A few seconds later, she adds, “You have the pendant—”

“Shhhhhh!” A hand attacks her arm, your panicked eyes wandering around the coffee shop as if your cover got blown. No one turns their heads, but you shoot an annoyed glare at Fuyumi. “Why don’t you say it louder? I don’t think the barista heard you!”

“I’m sorry! It’s just,” she grips the table’s edge and leans closer, “This is serious! You have to bring the pendant to the authorities. See, this is exactly why you should have called the police last night! The longer you wait, the more guilty you look. Maybe you’ll even become an accomplice to the crime.”

“You’re not helping!”

“Sorry…”

You dramatically groan into your hands, “Why did this happen to me?! When I said I wanted to live like Larry, I didn’t mean this!”

“I know,” Fuyumi pats your head and sneaks a bite of her delicious treat; her phone chimes beside you. She checks the message before flashing an apologetic stare. “Listen, I have to take care of something with my family, but I hate to leave you like this.”

“No, it’s okay. I can handle this myself,” you pathetically convince her. “I’m sure nothing bad will happen, knock on wood—”

“The table is metal.”

“I said what I said!” Your fist aggressively pounds the table, scaring off some customers. A mother hastily pushes her child away from the chaotic scene. You calm down and sigh, “I promise to call you if I’m in danger, okay?”

“Okay.”

You nod before whispering, “Sorry, table.”

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

The walk back home is anything but relaxing. You are on high alert, throwing suspicious glances at anyone coming too close to you. They could be undercover cops waiting to ambush you and interrogate your poor soul for hours until the necklace reappears.

But I didn’t do anything! I’m a good noodle!

You sigh as the key unlocks the door, your shoes flying off by the entrance. Fortunately, you hid the pendant in a safe place. All you want to do is get rid of this jewelry; it brings nothing but trouble.

Marching down the hallway, you grumble under your breath, “Stupid Hawks, and his stupid stealing habits.”

Everyone knows about the infamous Hawks. He strikes when one least expects him to, and somehow successfully evades capture after every heist. But Hawks always leaves behind his signature red feather as a little present for authorities—it never fails to rile them up. Hopefully, the cops show some mercy when you explain what happened. Maybe you should work on your puppy dog look before heading downtown, which might help you score a few sympathy points.

You find the burgundy jewelry box sitting on the closet’s top shelf and breathe a sigh of relief—the pendant is still inside. Not wasting precious time, you close the lid and exit your room. A soft click makes you freeze.

Standing by the balcony door is Hawks, who wears a black jacket with a white shirt underneath. His ashy blonde hair is lazily slicked back, a few strands sticking here and there like no tomorrow. Surprisingly, he lowers the balaclava mask and flashes a boyish grin, “‘Bout time you came home! I was getting bored out there.”

“How did you—wait, never mind. You break into high-security places to steal things for a living,” you say, shifting the jewelry box onto your right grip. “Listen, as much as I would like to stay and chit-chat, my day is fully booked. Can’t really cancel on these people, ya know?” You slowly tiptoe backward, an awkward laugh ringing through the air. “Let’s do a rain check; I’m free next week. Okay? Okay! See ya—“

“Hold it!” You halt on his order, a curse slipping out your mouth. Hawks strides across the floor, and you clutch the box closer to your chest. You feel as though your feet are glued to the ground, the nerves growing stronger once Hawks stands only a few feet away. He crosses his arms and nods at the box, “Whatcha got there?”

“Oh, it’s nothing special, really.”

“Can I take a look?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Um, because I don’t want to, that’s why,” you childishly snap and send him a dismissive wave. “Now, shoo! You’re wasting my precious time.”

Hawks chuckles at your feisty attitude. He finds this whole ordeal extremely amusing. You know who he is, you know of his reputation just like everyone else in Japan. And yet, you keep on swinging like a boxer with your witty responses. Still, he has a job to finish. “I’m not leaving until you give me that pendant.”

“Well, I hope you’re paying for half the rent because there’s no way in hell I’m giving it to you, Mr. Thief.” Two seconds later, you add, “Besides, it’s not even yours!”

“It’s not yours either.”

“Oh!” You give him a fake laugh, pointing one finger at your chest. “So the thief is criticizing me for having something that’s not mine? How rich.”

“You’re lucky I find you cute, but,” Hawks dangerously invades your personal space without giving you a chance to stop him. From far away, he doesn’t appear tall. However, Hawks somehow towers over you, which makes you involuntarily squeak. A wicked glint shines through his golden eyes as he studies your unique facial features. You suddenly forget to breathe when his eyes glance at your lips—damn him.

Hawks plucks the box from your loose grip. The hypnotic spell comes crashing down, and you loudly snarl, “Hey! Give it back!”

“Sorry, Dove,” Hawks keeps you at arm’s length, his gloved hand giving your shoulder a soft squeeze as he smirks, “I got a buyer who’s willing to pay a hefty price for this beauty. Of course, you are way more stunning, but he doesn’t need to know that.”

“Quit charming me!” You’re a blushing mess now and throw a pillow at him; he easily dodges it much to your dismay. Hawks’ cackles bounce off the wall, which makes you scowl. His fingers slide the balcony door open, and he tastes sweet freedom.

“Farewell, Dove!”

You have a deja vu moment when Hawks jumps over the edge. Your legs rush outside, and eyes frantically search the streets, but it’s no use—the thief is long gone. One hand slaps your forehead as you stupidly let him get away with the jewel. Feeling like a deflated balloon, you whip out your phone and make a quick call.

“Fuyumi…yeah, the pendant got stolen again.”

Stupid thief.

༛༛ ༛ ༛༺༻༛ ༛ ༛༛

You collapse on the couch with as much grace as an inexperienced dancer who steps on people’s toes. Work left you exhausted, but you’re glad it’s almost the weekend. You’ll definitely sleep in and have a lazy day on Sunday. It’s what you deserve after meeting tight deadlines and also talking to the police about Hawks.

Fortunately, they do not blame you for anything, much to your relief. It’s been about a week since Hawks broke into your apartment to steal back the Grand Droplet. Police have no luck locating him; they believe the thief is lying low until it’s safe enough for him to strike again. Where exactly is anyone’s guess.

A knock disrupts your thoughts.

It comes from the balcony, and you jump to your feet. No one is outside, although a flash of red catches your eye. Lo and behold, it’s Hawks’ signature feather with a small note attached. Oh, how lovely, you think before snatching the gift off the floor. Your pet name is affectionately written across the paper. You hate yourself for finding Hawks’ calligraphy impressive, but proceed to read the note.

Sorry for cutting our convo short—had a deal to close. No hard feelings, though, right? If anything, I’ll make it up to you, Dove. Besides, you still owe me that rain check.

See ya soon!

-H

You don’t bother biting back your smile.

Guess you’ll be seeing Fuyumi at the coffee shop again.

Fourth prompt is crossed off. Which one will be next? Stay tune! Thank you for reading!

Previous prompt: Cuddles

Hero Camp Bingo Masterlist

#hawks x reader #keigo takami x reader #hawks imagine #bnha hawks #keigo takami #bnhabookclub #hero camp bingo #crime au

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dolcetters · 5 years ago

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; mun & muse - meme.

TAGGED BY: @hyaciiintho ( ;-; AAA THANK!!! )

TAGGING (don’t feel obligated to do it!): @forsakenflora , @avadite , @yinseal , @inseparabilum , @reigningsniper , @tsume-awase , @canisfuria & YOU if you wanna!

FILL OUT & REPOST ♥ this meme definitely favors canons more, but i hope oc’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. multi-muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

----------------------------------------------------

MY MUSE IS: CANON / OC / AU / CANON-DIVERGENT / FANDOMLESS

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK (he’s fetishized a lot; thanks, i hate it)

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK (i’d lean more toward no)

Are they underrated? YES / NO

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO / MAYBE (stares into the abyss)

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO / MAYBE

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL (true neutral, my boy)

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON? ♠ || i have an ongoing joke that “canon is a slab of meat that we slow-roast at 475 degrees and carve for the juicy bits” but at the same time it’s not a joke at all, i’m being perfectly serious. i’m definitely a lot less strict than when i started for writing canon characters way back yonder, but i also DO like to keep within an array of canon boundaries because i’m not writing for an OC in this instance, i’m writing for an established character. ...it also doesn’t help that my character’s handled differently in the 4 types of media he shows up in but. i grew up reading DC comics and writing for beast boy, so i’m kind of used to “multiple takes existing for singular character”.

that being said, my take on dol is clearly canon divergent (since... he’s alive and my default verse takes place after the nest raid) but it pulls primarily from brotherhood/manga with a couple dashes of 2k3 series (since that’s the only media that gives us a length of time that he was in the labs). but given that i follow along with just about every scrap of information provided in the manga on this clown, i’d say i follow canon fairly strictly... but there ain’t a lot to go off of, so my reins are pretty loose no matter how you look at it. my city now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! AKA TRY TO LIST EVERYTHING, WHICH MAKES YOUR MUSE INTERESTING IN YOUR OPINION TO MAKE THEM SPICY FOR YOUR MUTUALS. ♠ || (*￣3￣)╭ well, hello, there. aware of dog? yes. this is he: dolcetto mcgrouchyboots, and he is not happy to be here at all. he is traumatized, sassy, wants to throw hands with teenagers, has no sense of self worth, and will absolutely use himself as a meat shield in order to protect any and everyone he cares about. he is spliced with: dog. his favorite weapon: sword. if you listen carefully, you might hear dog-song rising on the east wind as he approaches (don’t tell him axel taped a cassette player to his back). he comes from a found family of complete and utter morons with a lot of damage, they live in a partially underground bar, work as information brokers, and are all DEFINITELY fully functioning adult people. they say gay and trans rights. if you like angry boys with a sense of humor semi-on-par with griffin mcelroy, this is the boy for YOU!!!

NOW THE OPPOSITE, LIST EVERYTHING WHY YOUR MUSE COULD NOT BE SO INTERESTING (EVEN IF YOU MAY NOT AGREE, WHAT DOES THE FANDOM PERHAPS THINK?). ♠ || he’s only featured in a handful of episodes/chapters across all media, doesn’t have a significant amount of dialogue, and we only ever see him lose to the protagonist(s) despite that he seems more than capable of fighting anyone else. easy to brush off as a “aw he died and that’s sad but we didn’t really know him, moving on”. from what i’ve seen in my years, people are more interested in him being a cog in the machine of “greed is sad” and less interested in... HIM. which is fair, i guess, but hhhhhh

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE? ♠ || i don’t know if i can pin-point any ONE thing, but i’ve always been drawn to characters with some sort of connection or bond with animals (example, once again, being beast boy from teen titans). i also have an IMMENSE weakness for the found-family dynamic. so when the devil’s nest appeared during my first watch through of brotherhood, i was pretty much... hooked. immediately. and devastated. immediately. as for what drew me to writing dol, specifically... probably his loyalty, his drive, the fact that he WOULDN’T FUCKING STAY DOWN no matter how many times someone knocked him flat on his face. i vibe with that. grew up very much in the mentality of “fall down 7 times, get up 8″. also, he had a sword... which always beats guns on coolness factor. and i loved his fire. ...and that he was a complete fucking idiot who’s really bad at kidnapping i mean HOLY SHIT THAT’S HOW YOU TRIED TO GET HIM TO COME WITH YOU, DOLCETTO, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING--

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION GOING? ♠ || dol has always been a great source of ...venting for me? <xD ever since i started writing him, i’ve always found his muse--specifically--to be extremely cathartic and comforting. i dunno if it’s because he lets the more... jaded side of me come out, even when we’re both trying to be optimistic?

because i’ve been in 2 emotionally abusive friendships. i definitely have some left over hurt, pent up anger that hasn’t been given closure, a hell of a lot of underlying bitterness that i never got the opportunity to confront those people, BUT i still try to be. y’know. welcoming, friendly, supportive, despite a voice in the back of my head being paranoid?? i think dol continues to give me outlets to expressing that. somehow. not that i use him as an excuse to do it, more so i have more opportunities to do it when i’m writing him as opposed to writing someone like beast boy, who’s usually more on board with keeping the peace than picking a fight. i’ve also invested SO MUCH TIME and ENERGY into his background and headcanons and things that i kind of can’t quit him now, nor do i want to.

... and aside from that i just want him to have a happy ending god, fucking damnit.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO ( or i certainly hope so )

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO

Are you confident in your writing? YES / NO ( definitely have moments but eh! )

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO ( kind of... varies. i’d say i’m more hyper aware)

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL? ♠ || i definitely like to think i do when it comes to pre-established things in canon. but when it comes to what i’ve built on my own over my years of writing for dol (and the nest members as a whole), it’s kind of my sandbox and i’d appreciate you not stomp around in it.

unless i need to be learned a thing, like... one of the nest members, vi, is a trans-woman. i’m a cis-woman and i try to do as much research as i can and educate myself, but if i ever fuck something up please tell me, i’m doing my best but i’m more than willing to listen. i want to grow.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER? ♠ || pretty sure everyone does! >xD but yeah! i FUCKING love it. especially since i’m writing for a minor character. =//o//= it shows people are interested in him despite his overall lack of content.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY? ♠ || i’d definitely be curious as to why but i doubt i’d be offended or take ... any personal harm from it--y’know? it’d be more of a “let me hear your perspective and maybe it’ll expand my own understanding, or i might not agree after the explanation and that’s cool”!

an exception would be for an obviously shitty one that’s shitty for no reason, like... acTUALlY, he’s TOtaLLY hom///o///pho//bic, to which i’d be like “bitch, no, get away from me; no one in this bar is straight, die mad”.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH YOUR PORTRAYAL, HOW WOULD YOU TAKE IT? ♠ || again, it’s cool! there’s not a lot of canon material so you can take his portrayal a variety of places. if we don’t jive, it’s pretty whatever.

my one exception to this is probably people who, in the past, have told me i write him being “too mean”. which will never cease to confuse me. because even after al straight told dolcetto he was 14, dol was still like “I REALLY WANNA SMACK HIM but i’d just hurt my hand so you’re off the hook”, he’s angry like 85% of his dialogue in the manga... i’m just confused. where are you seeing the “uwu pupper~” persona. you can write it, that’s fine, i don’t care, just don’t get irritable when i don’t write him like a cute puppy. because here he is. suggesting we just kill izumi because she’s being troublesome. yeet. ...he’s an asshole.

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT? ♠ || whatever, just don’t be a dick or speak badly about me or him in my presence because, flawed as he is and while i won’t make excuses for him, i’ll stand up for him. go somewhere else, my dude. i, personally, don’t have the energy for your negativity. nor do i have the patience.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PEOPLE POINTING OUT YOUR GRAMMATICAL ERRORS? ♠ || i’m more okay with people correcting my spelling (gently). because of the way i taught myself to read, i’d be FUCKED if auto-correct or spell-check didn’t exist. i also google correct spellings constantly. so spelling, yeah, i already know that i’m terrible at it so feel free to correct type-os or spelling mishaps, it ain’t no thang.

grammar i’m a bit... pickier about. because sometimes i’ll purposely do a “grammatical error” because the punctuation or otherwise further drives the pacing or mood i’m trying to give my writing. i may not know ALL the rules but i break them from time to time... FOR THE ART.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN? ♠ || i wanna say i am?? while i definitely do want to seriously explore and flesh out and grow dol as a muse and character, i’m “not above” goofing around, poking fun at him, or just being plain silly on the dash. RPing is escapism for me and i strive to keep my blog a peaceful safe haven on the dashboard, both for myself and my followers.

i try to communicate to the best of my ability and despite my anxieties, and while i may not be able to follow or RP with EVERYONE (for obvious reasons) i’m open to interacting with ... pretty much anyone who throws me a bone. i’ll speak up if i’m not down for a plot or interested in a certain relationship or interaction, but i’m certainly not going to be rude or dismissive about it. i know what that feels like. i’d say yeah, though! i think i’m pretty chill. e-e you tell me.

#♦: ooc answer .#[ ;0; THIS WAS FUN ]

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asfeedin · 5 years ago

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Mother’s Day Gift Guide | Serious Eats

Gift Types

Batch Cocktails: Make-Ahead Pitcher Drinks for Every Occasion

Serious Eats’ former drinks editor Maggie Hoffman has packed this book with 65 terrific make-ahead cocktail recipes. Entertaining guests while serving them libations should be stress-free, and this book makes it so.

Sorghum Syrup

Sorghum syrup is made from the pressed juice of sorghum grass, which grows prominently throughout the American South. This amber-colored syrup has a unique, nutty flavor that’s both sweet and savory. And since the 1960s, the Guenther family of Muddy Pond, Tennessee, has been making some of the best.

KitchenAid Pasta Attachment

This is hands down the KitchenAid attachment I use most often. It takes all of the frustration and fussiness out of making fresh pasta, and, unlike the manual alternatives out there, it’s incredibly easy and efficient to operate on your own. Hello, homemade ravioli!

Cacao Barry Extra Brute Cocoa Powder

It’s almost impossible to find good-quality Dutch cocoa in supermarkets, so make it easy for your favorite baker to whip up the best possible chocolate treats. This cocoa powder is unusually dark, with an earthy chocolate flavor for out-of-control brownies, devil’s food cake, and ice cream.

Pineapple Tumbler

Your mom might already be the ultimate entertainer, but this gift will make her parties even more fun. Sure, you can serve crushed-ice cocktails in a regular old glass, but these shiny pineapple-shaped tumblers really up the ante and make a tiki-themed evening feel special.

Sorghum’s Savor

Kentucky-based writer Ronni Lundy is an expert on the foods and foodways of the Mountain South. In her book Sorghum’s Savor, she explores the history and folklore, and the many uses, of the region’s staple sweetener. Recipes range from fried chicken to sorbet.

Durable 3-Quart Saucier

How do you make perfect caramels, ice cream, gravies, and reductions? A nifty pot called a saucier. The durable stainless steel is cladded with aluminum for even heating, essential for temperamental ingredients like caramel and egg custards. A curved bottom makes whisking a snap (no more lumpy gravy!), and the wide top encourages evaporation for fast sauce reductions. You can buy cheaper versions than this All-Clad saucier, but this is one piece of equipment in which quality really makes a difference.

Le Creuset Wooden Scraping Spoon

I have a problem with wooden spoons. I collect them like nobody’s business. But there are a few I always turn back to, and this one, from Le Creuset, is one of them. It’s gorgeous to look at; it has a flat front, which makes it great for scraping up fond or stirring vegetables; and it’s got a smooth, ergonomic grip that makes using it a joy.

OXO Pop Containers

Not all containers are built the same. OXO’s Pop Containers stack neatly in the cabinet, make it easy to see exactly what’s inside, and have a neat push-button top that forms a perfectly airtight seal, keeping your dry pantry goods fresher for longer.

Colorful Tea Towels

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Terra Cotta Cazuela

Daniel’s owned these terra cotta dishes in several sizes for many years now. They’re attractive enough to go straight from the oven to the table, and versatile enough to be used as baking dishes for cooked foods or as serving dishes for snacks when you’re hosting guests.

Hawker Fare: Stories & Recipes from a Refugee Chef’s Isan Thai & Lao Roots

Hawker Fare is a wonderful introduction to some of the flavors that make Isan and Lao cuisines unique. The recipes are excellent, but what we find so compelling about the book is Syhabout’s story: a refugee who arrived with his family in the United States at the age of two, Syhabout went on to pursue a career in fine-dining. Only after establishing himself did he embark on a personal journey of discovery to find out more about the food of his forebears.

Bangkok: Recipes and Stories from the Heart of Thailand

Bangkok is a great gift for anyone who loves cooking Thai food at home and wants to expand their culinary repertoire. It’s a steal for the noodle soups alone, but we particularly enjoy Punyaratabandhu’s seafood recipes, like the pan-fried salted king mackerel steak.

Unicorn Magnum Pepper Mill

I’ll admit it: I’m a pepper mill snob. I need my mill to produce a shower of evenly crushed peppercorns. I want to be able to control the size of those grains, from a rough crush to a fine powder. Not only that, I want my pepper mill to last. With a solid metal burr and a unique easy-to-load design, this is my favorite pepper mill of all time.

The Noma Guide to Fermentation

The hottest new nerdy book of kitchen geekery has to be The Noma Guide to Fermentation by Rene Redzepi and David Zilber. If you know someone who’s mixed koji up with dried fish to make a kind of fish sauce, this is the book for them. Also a good gift for anyone who’s into drying meats or pickling—it details methods and processes that take those hobbies a step further.

Pretty Pinch Bowls

These colorful bowls make setting up your mise en place a little more fun, but they’re also great for bringing extra seasonings to the table, like fennel seeds and pepper flakes for pizza.

OXO Stainless Steel Scraper

A good bench scraper is one of those tools people don’t think they need until they start using it. I use it for everything from transferring chopped vegetables or herbs from one place to another, to portioning dough, to giving my cutting board a quick clean. Next to my chef’s knife, the bench scraper is the tool you’ll see in my hand most often.

Smuggler’s Cove

This remarkable book, from Martin and Rebecca Cate of San Francisco’s Smuggler’s Cove, traces the birth and evolution of exotic drinks and tiki bars—bars that embodied an American escapist fantasy. A lively exploration of our country’s drinking history (and the current tiki scene), it’s essential reading for rum lovers, offering the best categorization we’ve encountered of the head-spinningly diverse spirit. The mai tai recipe is great, too.

Digital Electric Gooseneck Kettle

This is the electric kettle of my coffee-delayed dreams. It has an elegant gooseneck spout that makes pouring a thin, controlled stream easy (very helpful for Chemex and other pourover coffee methods), and a base with controls that allow you to set a specific temperature and hold it there.

Citrus Press

For years, I thought citrus presses were overhyped, absurdly specific, rarely useful, space-consuming, money-wasting gadgets. But it took only one use to see just how wrong I’d been—not only does a citrus press guarantee that you’ll get way more juice out of every lemon and lime you squeeze, but you can say good-bye to stinging papercuts and all those infuriating attempts at pinching slippery stray seeds from your salad dressings and cocktails.

Zingerman’s Gift Certificate

It’s hard to find a better-curated food catalog than Zingerman’s. They are righteous folks, they know seriously delicious food when they come across it, and they sell it at a fair price. Nothing in the catalog is cheap, but then again, good food rarely is. So whether you order cheese or olive oil or bread from Zingerman’s, you can be confident you’re going to be very happy when it arrives at your house.

Dish Towel and Apron in One

Kitchen towels are always welcome in any cook’s kitchen, but these can also double up as a half-apron in a pinch. Plus, they’re of a nice enough quality to show Mom that she didn’t just raise a practical child; she also raised one with an eye for flair.

Cast Iron Skillet

Old cast iron has a perfectly smooth nonstick surface that’s surprisingly easy to maintain. You can sear, bake, roast, braise, stew, and deep-fry in it, and there’s nothing more thoughtful than a gift that you have to expend a bit of effort to find (check out eBay, yard sales, and flea markets). Of course, these modern Lodge pans will do in a pinch if vintage isn’t in the cards.

Tajine

I’ve been lusting after one of these hand-painted ceramic tajines since seeing one in a cookware store a couple years ago. They require some special care, and possibly a heat diffuser to prevent cracking from intense direct heat, but I think they’re worth it just to look at, even if you never cook in them. If you do, a future of flavorful North African stews, presented beautifully at the table, awaits. They also come in a variety of designs and colors, meaning there’s the perfect pick for any home.

Uuni 2S Pizza Oven

There are a lot of custom-designed pizza ovens out there in various price ranges. I haven’t tested all of them, but my favorite so far is the Uuni 2S. It consists of a small stainless steel box with a pizza stone set inside it. You load up a hopper on the rear of the unit with wood pellets, light it up with a torch or lighter fluid, and let it preheat. About 15 minutes later, you’re ready to cook. This little powerhouse hits temperatures in excess of 900°F and bakes up Neapolitan-sized pizzas in just 60 to 90 seconds.

Elizabeth David on Vegetables

Published on what would have been the late British author’s 100th birthday, Elizabeth David’s On Vegetables will teach you how a bag of grocery store onions can be transformed into an unforgettable roasted side dish, and how some fresh shelled peas can yield the most vibrant soup you’ve ever tasted. Filled with recipes that are simple, straightforward, yet often revelatory, this book also features a few of David’s best essays, as well as gorgeous photography.

Paring Knife

Paring knives don’t need to cost a lot to do their job—questions of balance and build quality matter less in a knife that fits almost entirely in the palm of your hand. Of all the ones I tested, this inexpensive blade from Wüsthof came out on top, with a razor-sharp edge and comfortable grip. This is my new go-to paring knife, and I already have several of them at work and home.

Chinese Tea Set With Gaiwan

Do you know someone who’s getting into tea? Like, really into tea? This is the tea set to get for that person. It comes with a traditional Chinese brewing vessel (a gaiwan), a decanter, four tasting cups, and a beautiful wood tea tray with a rack to store all the pieces. At $120, it’s not cheap, but it’s a bargain compared to other well-made tea sets, especially when you consider the high-quality, paper-thin porcelain. For tea lovers looking to dig into tea ceremonies, this set has everything you need.

Presto Tilt-N-Fold Griddle

Presto’s Tilt-n-Fold model is very simple to set up and operate, and it has a compact design that makes it easy to store in kitchen cabinets when not in use. It has a large, smooth, nonstick cooking surface that heats mostly evenly, can be set at an angle to drain grease, and is easy to clean. We love the price, too.

Awesome Chef’s Knife

High-quality Swedish steel and Japanese design, along with great features like a perfectly balanced handle and blade and an ergonomic bolster, make the Misono UX10 Santoku the most-used knife in my arsenal.

Black Matte Dinner Plates

Get these if you want to up your Instagram game! These are the plates we use the most in our photo shoots—the matte texture makes a great surface on which to make any food pop.

Redbreast 15-Year Irish Whiskey

For those who find Scotch too smoky, bourbon too sweet, and rye too spicy, Irish whiskey is the ideal gift. Redbreast emerges from the barrels complex and substantial; some of the whiskey is aged in sherry casks, lending it a weight and dark hue, while some is aged in bourbon casks, imparting characteristic vanilla flavors. There’s a hint of fruit up front and spice on the finish.

Mandoline Slicer

Does your mom love to make fancy salads, crowned with delicate ribbons of carrots? Is she obsessed with serving the perfect potato gratin at holidays meals? There are some kitchen tools that make the difference between amateur-looking food and pro-level stuff. A small mandoline is one of them. This one, from Oxo, is compact, easy to use, and very sharp. It only has three thickness settings, but in my experience, that more than covers most home slicing needs.

Otherland Candle

This handpoured soy-wax candle will look beautiful on your kitchen table— and the scent of Champagne, saffron, and leather, is just fragrant enough to offset any accidental burnt foods that no one needs to know about. Plus, the packaging, which comes with a customizable matchbox makes the candle an impressive (and affordable) gift.

Embossed Rolling Pin

For the baker who has it all, embossed rolling pins can make even the most traditional shortbread seem exciting again. I love this large, open paisley pattern so much, I used it for the cookies on the cover of my book! Its design works well with many styles of dough, so it’s a great starting point before you experiment with pins that have a more intricate pattern.

Recipe Journal

Trying to get your mom to finally write down all those family recipes? This sleek Moleskin journal will get her organized and become a precious family heirloom in the process.

Salt Cellar

Proper seasoning is one of the most important parts of cooking, and if you’re still using plain table salt from (heaven forbid!) a saltshaker, you’re shooting yourself in the food. Using kosher salt from a salt cellar lets you feel exactly how much salt is getting into your food, whether it’s a tiny pinch or a big ol’ wallop.

Liquid Intelligence

Dave Arnold (you might know of his bar, Booker and Dax in NYC) won’t just accept the common assumptions about cocktail technique—his mission in this excellent book is to dig into the science of how the very best drinks are made. This is a must-read for inquisitive types who like to host cocktail hour at home.

Round Griddle

My mom’s signature dish is her homemade lefse, a Norwegian potato flatbread, rolled gauze-thin and cooked on a round griddle at a blazing hot heat. Her old one has finally crapped out after many years of service, and I want to treat her to the best model on the market. If you’re not into the Scandi thing, you can use this griddle to make crepes, injera, or regular old pancakes.

Electric Countertop Pressure Cooker

A pressure cooker is a cooking vessel that just keeps on giving: Once you discover the time-saving feats it’s capable of, you’ll never look back. The good ones aren’t cheap, but man, is it ever worth having one. A countertop electric model gives you set-it-and-forget-it convenience. With the Breville Fast Slow Pro Cooker, not only do you have complete control over your pressure cooking (including any pressure level from 1.5 to 12 psi), you also have a slow cooker and a rice cooker built right in. It’ll even sear meat for stews.

The Apprentice

Insightful (and very well-written) memoir by the elder statesman of food and cooking in the United States. From his early memories of picking salad for his mother to his recollection of eating raw clams on a Connecticut pier, the book shows how food is not just a passion or a career; food, for Jacques Pépin, is life.

Rose and Orange Flower Water

Forget flowers, they’ll be dead by the end of the week, but these flower waters will last a lifetime. Mostly. Both rose and orange flower water will last just about forever on the shelf, and just a drop or two is all that’s needed to give any recipe an aromatic boost. Try a splash of rose water with a strawberry or rhubarb dessert, or orange flower water in a classic New York cheesecake, where their gentle perfume can work wonders.

Louie Mueller’s Beef and Jalapeño Sausages

When I had these Texas beef sausages delivered to Serious Eats World Headquarters, people were skeptical. The moment they took their first bite of these supremely juicy links, though, the office became totally silent. Louie Mueller’s beef and jalapeño sausages reduced the entire office to stunned, rapturous silence. And these suckers are so affordable, even with the shipping, that they’re perfect for serving at parties. You just might want to hand out bibs to protect everyone’s shirts. Phone orders only: 512-352-6206.

Meat Cleaver

This meat cleaver has a well-balanced weight, sharp edge, and solid construction—a boon since a lot of more-affordable cleavers like this one feel very cheap and after repeat use get wobbly around the handle.

Marble and Acacia Wood Cake Stand

Like a pretty Bundt pan, a beautiful cake stand has an aesthetic value of its own, even without a cake—but present it with Mom’s favorite cake on top, and it will also be a nice reminder of the day.

Meathead: The Science of Great Barbecue and Grilling

In this book, Meathead Goldwyn, the founder of AmazingRibs.com, distills decades of research on the art and science of barbecue and grilling into a single volume that shows not just the best ways to take food to live fire, but why the techniques work. Far more than a recipe book alone (though there are tons of bulletproof recipes), this text will teach your favorite barbecue lover the hard-tested fundamentals of outdoor cooking, giving them the confidence to cook anything, even without a recipe. The myth-busting and equipment tips alone were enough to get me hooked.

Lewis Bag

If you’re following my advice to buy your Mom some julep cups, you might as well go all the way and grab a canvas Lewis bag as well: It’s used to smash ice into a fine powder with a mallet. Unless, of course, she already owns an ice crusher.

Preserving the Japanese Way

If her first two books are any indication, Nancy Singleton Hachisu is poised to become the Julia Child of traditional Japanese home cooking. In this, her second book, she tackles the deeply fascinating—and even more delicious—world of Japanese preserving. From easy pickles made by packing foods in miso (kabocha squash! eggs! apple pears!) to homemade miso, salt-rubbed vegetables, and air-dried fish, this should be the next frontier in all your home preservation undertakings. I’m getting excited just thinking about it.

Fixed-Cup Spice Grinder

The sleek and minimalist design of the Krups means it’s easy to hold, handle, and store—perfect for anyone tight on space. Even without a removable bowl, cleanup is a cinch because spices never get trapped beneath the blade, and there are no unnecessary ridges or notches to clog with spices. The one-touch operation makes it easy to use, and it quickly yields a fine and consistent grind in both large, tough spices and smaller seeds.

Taketsuru Pure Malt Japanese Whisky

Anyone who appreciates Scotch (or good spirits in general) will embrace Nikka’s exquisite whiskies. The Taketsuru Pure Malt is named for the company’s founder, who studied in Scotland before bringing whisky distilling back to Japan. This bottling has a slight fruity character, with lingering sherry on the finish.

ThermoWorks Thermapen

The Cadillac of kitchen thermometers is indispensable when you’re roasting meat, cooking steaks, making candy, deep-frying, or carrying out any other task where precise temperature control is needed. It’s got a big display and a blazing-fast measuring time of under two seconds—you won’t find a better, easier-to-use thermometer out there.

Simple Coffee Maker

The Bonavita is one of the faster models we tested, and it earned high scores in nearly all of our tastings. A single switch governs all of its operations, making the brewing process incredibly simple.

Fancy Cheese Knives

Spending $50 on cheese knives feels a little silly, especially when a regular knife does the trick just fine. But that’s why they’re the perfect gift—arguably unnecessary, but nonetheless useful, they feel like a real luxury. I’m pretty sure they also raise your “real adult” status by at least 10 points. Especially when they’re these beautifully crafted Dubost Laguiole knives. I like the simplicity of the olivewood handles, but they do come in other colors and styles, with the same high-quality blades.

Be Your Own Bartender

This is a fun, interactive book featuring over a dozen flowcharts to guide you to the perfect drink for every mood and occasion.

BraveTart: Iconic American Desserts

Where pastry wizard Stella Parks goes deep on science for Serious Eats, her book BraveTart explores the secret history of iconic American desserts, along with updated recipes for all the classics you know and love. The perfect cookbook for any mom with a sweet tooth.

Wooden Pizza Peel for Launching Pizzas

Wooden peels absorb excess moisture and have a rougher surface than metal, which means that your stretched and topped pizza dough will remain loose and easy to launch far longer, saving you from potential pizza-spilled-all-over-the-oven accidents. Though there are cheaper options around, I love my Perfect Peel Baker’s Board, handcrafted to last a lifetime from gorgeous solid cherrywood. They’ll even put initials or a logo on it if you’d like!

Breville Espresso Machine

If you want to start making legit espresso at home, this machine from Breville is a great investment. We like that it has a built-in burr grinder that will stay set at whatever dosage you’ve decided is best for your shot, as well as an adjustable pre-infusion time. Getting the hang of it—and dialing in—takes a while, but ultimately, the results are impressive.

ThermoWorks ThermoPop

In the inexpensive-thermometer department, the ThermoPop comes in an impressive package. An easy-to-read display rotates at the touch of a button, so you don’t have to twist your head to read it. It takes a few seconds longer to read temperatures than its big brother, the Thermapen, but it’s every bit as accurate.

Korean Fermenter Crock

These fermentation crocks come in a variety of shapes and sizes, but they all have the same smart design: An inner lid can be pressed down against the surface of the brine, ensuring the vegetables remain submerged (and thus don’t rot), while the lids lock into place to keep bugs out.

Carbon Steel Omelette Pan

A good carbon steel has many of the qualities that make cast iron great—it’s durable, it forms a completely nonstick surface if cared for properly, and it’s inexpensive—but it’s lighter and easier to maneuver, making it great for sautéing and searing everyday foods.

GelPro Floor Mat

If you love to cook and host parties, you’ll know that a lot of prep time is spent on your feet. Why not make at least the cooking part a bit more comfortable with one of these gel mats? It’ll provide some nice cushion under your feet, so when it’s time to put on your party shoes, you’ll be ready.

Snowe Flatware

Functional, but with an elegant twist: The width of the forks and spoons is just slightly smaller than that of your standard set, and they feel slightly longer in the hand. This set is a good and long-lasting upgrade to those starter Ikea sets.

Anova Precision Cooker

Sous vide cooking—cooking foods in vacuum-sealed pouches in precisely controlled water baths—is no longer the exclusive preserve of fancy restaurant kitchens. The Anova Precision Cooker is the best home water bath controller on the market, with an easy-to-use interface, Bluetooth support, rock-solid construction, a sleek look, and an affordable price tag to boot.

Recchiuti’s Chocolate Mendiants

These thin chocolate disks have a creamy, melt-in-your-mouth texture and a complex, pleasantly fruity bitterness. But it’s the scattered cacao nibs on top that take them from memorable to exceptional. The crunchy bits of bean are toasty and flavorful in their own right, but Recchiuti goes the extra mile, tossing them in caramel and fleur de sel for a brightly salty-sweet finish that electrifies each bite.

All-Clad Two-Quart Saucepan

This small 2-quart saucepan is perfect for making and warming sauces, cooking small portions of grain, and heating liquids.

Brooklyn Bartender

If you know someone who has a taste for a well-made cocktail, but lives far from the heart of the Brooklyn drinking scene, this book is the perfect gift. It features 300 innovative and classic drink recipes from the best bars of the borough; every cocktail we’ve tried from it so far has been killer. The drinks Carey Jones has selected aren’t dumbed down at all, but, for the most part, you’re not looking at mile-long ingredient lists, either.

Charcuterie

Ruhlman and Polcyn do a great job of demystifying one of the more abstruse cooking arts, and, while charcuterie may seem daunting, it can be gratifyingly easy. Start simple, with the pancetta, confit, rillettes, and duck prosciutto, and you’ll find yourself with a mold-inoculated curing chamber in no time.

Bourbon-Soaked Cherries

An ideal gift for any Manhattan, cherry, or all-around whiskey lover. These cherries trade the cloying sweetness of maraschinos for the boozy bass notes of great whiskey. Use them in your go-to whiskey cocktail, or to top a favorite dessert.

An Everlasting Meal

We don’t know if there’s a book about cooking that we’ve thought about more than this one by Tamar Adler, a former Chez Panisse cook who was once an editor at Harper’s Magazine. It’s about cooking simply, and enjoying the simple meals that naturally follow from thinking about your ingredients in cycles. We forget, sometimes, that the leftover stems from blanched broccoli are wonderful cooked with olive oil and piled on toast; that their cooking liquid could be the base of a soup; that the stems of greens like Swiss chard and kale make a lovely pesto. She reminds us that stale bread can make something delicious and that yesterday’s bean broth could be the start of a pasta dish today. This book sends the valuable message that dinner doesn’t always need to be a big deal.

Paleta Iberico de Bellota

The best ham on earth doesn’t come cheap, but this is the caviar of pork: jamón ibérico puro de bellota, from purebred Ibérico pigs raised on acorns for a ham that’s nutty and sweet, with meltingly soft fat.

Dansk Kobenstyle 2-Quart Casserole

A few months back, Kristina’s mom stopped dead in her tracks when she spotted a pair of Dansk Kobenstyle pots in the window of a cookware store in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. “Can you imagine doing a fondue party out of one of those?” she squealed. If there’s one thing Kristina’s mom loves, it’s a themed party, especially one with cheese involved. And Kristina has to agree that these little guys are perfect for all your entertaining needs—they look great on a table, and the lid doubles as a trivet to protect surfaces while you’re serving.

Metal Pizza Peel for Retrieving Pizzas

Wooden pizza peels are too thick to easily slide under a pie once it’s hit the oven. For that, you’ll want a thin-bladed metal peel. Basic models made of thin-gauge aluminum, like this Kitchen Supply peel, are just fine for the occasional baker, but they’ll bend and warp eventually. If you’re going to be making pizza multiple times a year for many years to come, you might want to spring for something a little more heavy-duty. I use the KettlePizza Pro Peel, which has a thick-gauge aluminum body that extends fully past the solid teakwood handle.

Pistachio Spread

Since first getting his hands on a jar of this pistachio spread, Sasha hasn’t shut up about it. Made from Sicilian pistachios, olive oil, sugar, and sea salt, it’s sweet, slightly salty, incredibly creamy, and just flat-out delicious. While it’s not cheap, this is one of those specialty products that are actually worth the price tag, and it makes a great gift. Spread it on bread, drizzle it over ice cream, or just eat it by the spoonful straight from the jar.

Smeg Toaster

After years of putting up with a cheap toaster that I picked up at the supermarket, I recently upgraded to this super fancy Italian job in cool mint. It’s sleek design and soothing pastel color transform the kitchen’s most boring appliance into a statement piece, and it really does a good job with the toast itself. Plus, I mean, it’s really dang pretty. If nothing else, you owe it to yourself to read this toaster’s priceless reviews.

Frankies 457 Olive Oil

Fancy olive oil always makes a good gift, but there’s a difference between fancy olive oil and good fancy olive oil. The house oil from Frankies 457 Sputino in Brooklyn is delicious (i.e. great on fresh bread and in dishes), is DOC cerified, and comes in a chic tin that prevents the light from spoiling the product.

Vietnamese Food Any Day

An eloquent ambassador for Vietnamese cuisine whose recipes are always reliable, Andrea Nguyen is one of our favorite cookbook authors. Vietnamese Food Any Day educates the reader about a variety of Vietnamese techniques and provides recipes that are eminently cookable—part of Nguyen’s goal with this book was to avoid calling for any esoteric or hard-to-find ingredients, so each and every recipe can be made with items that are easily found at a large grocery store.

Pretty Carving Board

What’s the point of perfectly roasting that turkey or prime rib if you don’t have a pretty surface to carve it on? I love this teak cutting board because it’s large enough for major projects, but lighter than thicker boards, making it easy to move from the kitchen to the dining room. It’s made from scraps of larger teak products, making this cutting board a good environmental choice as well.

Marble Pastry Slab

With their smooth surface and cool temperature, marble pastry slabs are a baker’s best friend. They’re great for rolling out pie crusts, laminating doughs, and tempering chocolate—plus, this one’s pretty enough (albeit heavy) to use as a serving platter.

Mortar and Pestle

A large mortar and pestle is one of the most underutilized kitchen tools. Not only is it faster than a spice grinder for small amounts of dry spices (particularly when it comes to cleaning), it draws out more flavor by crushing rather than shearing. It’s also the perfect tool for making pastes out of moist ingredients, like herbs, garlic, and shallots.

Stovetop Pressure Cooker

I tested dozens of stovetop pressure cookers before settling on Kuhn Rikon’s Duromatic. It has a heavy sandwiched-aluminum-and-steel base that gives you even heat, and a pressure gauge that makes telling exactly how much pressure has built up inside visual and intuitive.

Collapsible Freezer Lunch Bags

I don’t really consider myself a lunch-bag person, but when I have something cold to transport, there’s only one carrying case I reach for. These PackIt cooler bags come in a variety of sizes and styles, and all of them can be collapsed and chilled in the freezer overnight to provide refrigerator-level temperatures for a 12-hour period. I use mine most for bringing beers to the park or beach, or transporting raw meat to barbecues and campsites.

Ceramic Utensil Crock

To store tools like spatulas and whisks, a good old-fashioned crock will do the trick. We like this ceramic one, which looks extra pretty on the counter. Keep it right next to your stove so your most-used tools will be at an arm’s length whenever you need them.

Now & Again: Go-To Recipes, Inspired Menus + Endless Ideas for Reinventing Leftovers

This cookbook by Julia Turshen, author of Small Victories and Feed the Resistance, is full of simple, delicious meals for everyday eating, parties, and holidays. Better yet, each one includes a bunch of suggestions for how to remake it as leftovers. It’s a trove of great, creative ideas, and a must for any bookworm.

Wine Tote

This customizable (and monogrammable!) tote plus a bottle of Sancerre will make any wine drinker’s day.

Donabe Cookbook

This cookbook has been my guide to learning how to use my donabe cooker, and thus far it hasn’t let me down. It offers a wide range of recipes to help give you an idea of just how many one-pot dishes can be made using a donabe, plus background on the history and variety of donabe cookers.

Miracle-Gro Twelve Indoor Growing System

After previously lauding Aerogardens for how easy they make it to grow herbs at home (and how having a constant supply of fresh herbs has changed her cooking), Ariel’s upgraded to this larger system from Miracle-Gro. The increased size—it’s about as big as a side table—and bright lights allow you to grow a bounty of lettuces, herbs, and other greens, and you can program the app to turn the lights off and on according to your schedule. An expensive but excellent gift for anyone who loves fresh produce and fears their own black thumbs.

Granite Mortar and Pestle

With both parts made of rock-solid granite, the Thai mortar and pestle is (literally) a heavy hitter, and arguably the most versatile type of large mortar and pestle you can own. Its heft and weight, especially when combined with the stone-on-stone action that the all-granite build provides, make it ideal for one of its intended uses: making a Thai curry paste.

Baratza Virtuoso Coffee Grinder

Baratza’s Virtuoso coffee grinder is routinely picked by pros as the home grinder to beat and for good reason: Its well-made conical burrs produce a wide range of grind sizes, the results are consistent, the machine is solidly built from both metal and plastic, and it’s all backed up by good customer service.

Le Creuset Stoneware Rectangular Dish

When fall and winter roll around, I start thinking about rich, comforting casseroles, which means that these stoneware baking dishes get pulled out, filled, and popped into the oven at least once a week. They’re great-looking on the table and provide gentle, even cooking all around for really nice, crisp edges on your lasagna.

Acaia Pearl Coffee Scale

Coffee geeks will have a lot of fun with this coffee scale. It pairs with a smartphone through Bluetooth, and an accompanying app helps walk you through the brewing processes, like pourover and French press, calculating bean-to-water ratios and brew times. It can handle customization, so with each successive batch, you can really dial in on the variables to make the cup that tastes best to you. It can also be used as a basic kitchen scale with a maximum weight of two kilograms (about four and a half pounds), so it’s versatile beyond its primary purpose.

Messermeister Knife Case

Most professional cooks own a knife bag so they can tote their knives around from one job to another. But knife bags can be really useful storage options, as well. They’re compact, they can hold many knives, and they can be moved around as needed, which means you don’t necessarily need to have a dedicated knife drawer as long as you can find somewhere safe to stash your knives.

World’s Fair Barbecue Rub

Ariel discovered this spice mix 11 years ago, and it’s still one of her favorite things to give as a gift. It’s a perfect blend of everyday ingredients (shallots, garlic, paprika, and sea salt), but with unusual flavor notes from grains of paradise. She buys it by the pound to dump on meat, seafood, and even eggs, but you can start by picking it up a reasonably sized jar or bag.

The One-Bottle Cocktail

Organized by spirit—vodka, gin, agave, rum, brandy, and whiskey—with an additional section devoted to specific seasons and occasions, The One-Bottle Cocktail makes it easy to figure out how to polish off that lingering liter of rum and is guaranteed to expand your cocktail repertoire for your go-to bottle. It does so by forging surprising, nuanced, eminently sippable flavors from commonplace liquors and fresh fruits, herbs, and other seasonal ingredients, as well as vinegars, spices, and sodas. This is the kind of book that every home cocktail-maker should keep on their shelf.

Big Ice Cube Tray

If you like your whiskey with a giant ice cube, then you’ll really be into Mammoth Cubes—unlike ice cube trays from current competitor brands, these make eight cubes (not six) and are actually stackable, so they don’t require a section unto themselves in your freezer.

Joe Beef: Surviving the Apocalypse

This is a book for people who like to live extra large, and by that we mean people who are intrigued enough by the microwaved foie gras recipe to consider trying it some day. It’s a text that espouses an eating- and cooking-philosophy as much as it is a collection of recipes.

Small Baking Steel Griddle

These days, I keep this solid slab of steel permanently atop one of the burners of my stove. One side has a pebbled surface—ideal for getting extra-crisp, better-than-a-baking-stone crust on homemade pizzas. And, unlike a baking stone, this thing is going to last forever. The griddle arrives as shiny steel, but with just a few uses, it seasons up into a dark, slick nonstick surface that can be used for everything from pancakes to eggs to hamburgers to grilled cheese.

Joule Sous Vide Circulator

The ChefSteps Joule is the smallest circulator on the market. It’s sleek, compact design fits in a drawer and it heats quickly and accurately. It has the advantage of the ChefSteps community and legacy content built into its app, though its one downside is that it requires a smartphone or tablet along with a registered account to operate.

Buvette

Manhattan chef Jody Williams’s Buvette: The Pleasure of Good Food is as charming and inviting as the restaurant that inspired it. This is a book to get greasy and damp as you cook through its pages, and it’s a nightstand read, dreamy and warm, to flip through as you wind down. Channeling a traditional French bistro, with a bit of Italy and a touch of New York thrown in, the recipes are classics, both inspirational and totally doable. Some are so simple that they hardly count as recipes at all—they’re more like suggestions for how to better your day with a plate of food, from breakfast through dessert after a lingering, late-night supper. Perfect for your impossibly, effortlessly stylish friend.

Culinary Coloring Book

I’ve long been a fan of Jessie Kanelos Weiner’s vivid and imaginative watercolors—she’s done the art for several of our stories. But when Weiner released Edible Paradise: An Adult Coloring Book of Seasonal Fruits and Vegetables, I discovered a new affinity for her work. See, like many children, I grew up with coloring books. But, unlike most adults, I continue to buy them—and fill them—to this day. For that I can thank my mother, a licensed art therapist who has long promoted the pastime as a therapeutic outlet. Far from pushing a think-inside-the-box mentality, coloring provides a healthy space for self-expression and experimentation. And, for those who enjoy it, coloring can leave you with a profound sense of zen-like relaxation and accomplishment. Weiner’s fanciful landscapes are organized by season; they’re a riot of vegetation, edible plant life, and tantalizing market scenes. They’ll encourage your mom to paint (or pencil) the town red—in any colors she likes.

Anchovy Colatura

If you want to give the gift of umami, you owe it to your intended recipient to check out this aged Italian fish sauce. Hailing from the town of Cetara on the Amalfi Coast, colatura is made by aging anchovies and sea salt in chestnut barrels for roughly three years, producing a rich, deeply savory fish sauce that can be used as a flavor enhancer for meats, fish, or vegetables. Or, try it as the star of the show in spaghetti con la colatura.

Noodle Basket

If you make a fair amount of noodle soups at home, particularly for multiple people, you should pick up a couple of these baskets. (They’re also great for blanching small quantities of vegetables.) The baskets are cheap yet sturdy, and they’re smaller than a lot of the fancier ones out there, so they’ll fit in pots that are more home kitchen–sized.

Misono UX10 Chef’s Knife

A deft and nimble blade, Misono’s UX10 is one of the lightest-weight knives we tested. It’s razor-sharp right out of the box and handled every task we threw at it with ease, dicing an onion as if it were as soft as a blob of Jell-O and making paper-thin slices of smoked salmon as if the knife were a true slicer.

R. Murphy Duxbury Oyster Knife

I’ve used many, many oyster knives in my life, and the R. Murphy Duxbury knife is my hands-down favorite. It has a fat, grippy handle that’s easy to wield, and a short blade that tapers to a point and always manages to find the sweet spot on an oyster’s hinge. Pop! The slightly sharpened blade edges make slicing through the muscle and removing the top shell as smooth as butter.

Mercer Serving Bowl

With a neutral color and simple silhouette, this serving bowl is versatile enough to complement any table setting. It’s also big enough to accommodate a big salad or crowd-sized portion of stew.

Zahav: A World of Israeli Cooking

I’ve never been to Zahav, the Philadelphia restaurant where Michael Solomonov serves his Israeli cuisine, but its namesake book has nevertheless changed the way I cook. His recipe for tahini sauce, which includes a novel technique for incorporating garlic and lemon, is alone worth the price of admission. I’ve loved the Yemenite beef soup (and the accompanying hot sauce), his wide focus on vegetarian-friendly dishes, and a host of homemade condiments that will elevate almost any meal, even if you don’t follow full recipes from the book.

Diaspora Co. Turmeric

This turmeric is as bright as a bar of gold, with a lovely, sleek label to match. Apart from the high-quality turmeric and nice packaging, the spice comes with a feel-good story: Diaspora Co. is run by queer women of color, and each jar purchased puts a much-higher-than-average amount of money back into the turmeric farmer’s hands.

Provisions: The Roots of Caribbean Cooking

Hoping to familiarize yourself with Jamaican food beyond jerk chicken and curried goat? Want to learn more about the evolution of Caribbean cuisine? Provisions: The Roots of Caribbean Cooking is the book for you. Suzanne and Michelle Rousseau share 150 bright and exciting vegetarian recipes inspired by the women who first taught the two sisters to cook. The recipes are accompanied by gorgeous photos, and a thorough history of Caribbean foodways. It’s an inspiring—and delicious—ode to the women who make Caribbean food great.

Fancy Glass Pitcher

I actually received this classic Waterford pitcher as a wedding gift, and my mom’s been eyeing it enviously ever since. I can’t say I blame her—it’s become a workhorse in my home. When I’m not using it to decant wine, it’s hard at work serving cocktails, ice water, and juices. And in between any special occasion, you can drop in some fresh flowers and use it as a vase.

D’Artagnan Porcelet Shoulder

It can be hard to find skin-on, bone-in pork shoulders for roasting, but luckily D’Artagnan has got us all covered with their fantastic porcelet shoulder. We think everyone should ditch the tired holiday spiral ham this year, and slow-roast a milk-fed piglet shoulder instead. We promise it won’t disappoint.

Season: Big Flavors, Beautiful Food

Beautiful photos accompany Nik Sharma’s impressive recipes. The best of the bunch embody the kind of inventive cuisine that draws from multiple cultures to produce dishes that can only be described as emphatically, joyously American, like the roasted carrots with sesame, caraway, chili, and nori. Great for cooks looking for inspiration yet still hopelessly devoted to classic, comforting dishes.

Staub Heritage Baking Dish

It can be easy to brush off appearances as unimportant, but tableside presentation is a big part of a baking dish’s appeal. If you want excellent performance combined with a handsome and classic design that will look great on your holiday table (or on your Instagram account), Staub is your best bet. This heavyweight dish heats evenly in the oven at temperatures up to 575°F (300°C) and has great heat retention, keeping food hotter longer when you’re serving. The generous four-quart capacity is ideal for large roasts and extra-deep casseroles.

Pedra Artisan Oval Platter

A large platter is a must-have for any household, especially during the holiday season. This oval platter has high enough sides to accommodate saucier dishes, while the gray-and-white hand-glazed finish gives it a one-of-a-kind feel.

Chocolate-Hazelnut Spread

Marco Colzani is a great Italian bean-to-bar chocolate maker, with a number of excellent products under his brand, Amaro. But it’s his spreads that have Ed addicted, particularly the Cacao Nocciole, or hazelnut-and-chocolate variety. Imagine a Nutella-like substance, but made with the freshest roasted hazelnuts and extra-chocolaty high-quality cocoa powder. It’s a lot to pay for a small jar, but my guess is that your mom is worth it, and more.

Wusthof Classic Chef’s Knife

If you’re dead set on a traditional German knife profile—characterized by a more curved blade that’s bigger and heavier than the Japanese options—the Wüsthof Classic continues to be a stalwart. It weighs more than most of the other knives tested, giving it a solid and sturdy feel, but it still handles well and has a sharp edge.

Wine Fridge

Take it from us: Living in hot urban apartments makes storing age-worthy wines nearly impossible, unless you don’t mind risking the life of a pricey Burgundy by putting it through years of extreme temperature swings. Anyone with an interest in building even a modest collection of special-occasion bottles should get a wine fridge. It’s a small investment that protects your real investment.

The Cooking Gene: A Journey Through African American Culinary History in the Old South

A wonderful gift for anyone who is interested in history, food, the history of food, and this terribly flawed but nonetheless beautiful thing we call America.

Plenty More

Plenty More highlights the versatility of vegetables with 120 inventive plant-based recipes. It takes a degree of commitment to cook through this book—many, though not all, of Ottolenghi’s recipes require extra time spent sourcing unusual ingredients or toiling in the kitchen—but the reward is food that is enigmatic and downright dazzling. The ideal gift for anyone who thinks vegetables are boring, and for those who know they’re not.

Chetna’s Healthy Indian

Chetna’s Healthy Indian is a bright, colorful ode to Indian home cooking. Written by Chetna Makan, an avid home cook and semifinalist on The Great British Baking Show, it offers an array of quick, wonderfully flavorful recipes. From a simple green bean, coconut, and tamarind salad to fish wrapped in floral banana leaf, this cookbook has something for everyone.

Jerusalem

One of the best cookbook gateways into Middle Eastern cuisine—an obsessive and personalized exploration of the many cultures and traditions that make up Jerusalem’s culinary world. What will you find here? A recipe for the best hummus of your life, for starters; messy-beautiful dips and salads; and the delicately spiced soups, grains, and vegetables Yotam Ottolenghi has become famous for.

Julep Cups

I don’t often recommend single-function items, but for the cocktail enthusiast, a couple of julep cups really are fun to have. There’s nothing like holding that metal cup frosted with ice on a blisteringly hot summer day—glass just doesn’t pull the effect off in the same way. If your Mom doesn’t have an ice crusher, check out my Lewis bag suggestion as well.

Serving bowl

There’s no such thing as too many serving bowls, and this simple two-tone piece goes with virtually everything. At 11.5 inches across, it’s the perfect size for mom’s favorite side dishes; in my house, it’s go-to for salads, roasted vegetables, mashed potatoes, and pasta.

Nordic Ware Platinum Collection Heritage Bundt Pan

A Bundt pan is essentially a functional sculpture that can spruce up an open kitchen shelf quite nicely, even if it never gets any use. Give one to the baker (or bakeware admirer) in your life, and, as long as you promise shared cake, I’m sure you’ll be allowed to borrow it any time.

Fish Scaler

A hefty weight and a narrow head design make this an extremely efficient fish scaler. I’ve used it on smallish porgies, bigger black sea bass and fluke, and just about everything in between. It’s a significant improvement over the clamshell I used to use, and something about its design reduces the spray of scales.

Donabe Cooker

I got one of these traditional Japanese clay pots for my birthday this year, and it’s quickly become an obsession. Not only can you cook perfect plain rice in it every time, it doubles as a vessel for flavorful one-pot stews and hot pots, and an infinite variety of noodle and rice dishes. Anyone interested in Japanese home cooking should have one.

All-Clad Immersion Blender

A high-speed hand blender is great for whipping up silky soups and purées, making emulsions like mayonnaise and Hollandaise, or smoothing out sauces, all right in the pot. No need to dirty up an extra blender jar!

Vacuum Sealer

Know someone who’s interested in sous vide cooking? They’re gonna want this. And it’s handy for way more than just sous vide cooking. A vacuum sealer makes it really easy to save meats or other foods in the freezer, and it keeps air (read: freezer burn) off it all. The Oliso sealer uses a unique resealable-bag system, which means far less wasted plastic than a conventional cut-and-seal vacuum sealer.

An Amazing Bottle of Rum

Drinking Diplomático Reserva Exclusiva Rum—with its dark caramel and vanilla on first whiff, and its rich and velvety-smooth feel as you sip—is like drinking a crème brûlée, but with a long, dry finish. Add an ice cube if you must, but it’s really worth it to give it a try without first.

All About Braising

Winter is all about slow-cooked braised dishes, and Molly Stevens’s text is the bible on the subject. Stevens first devotes dozens of pages to discussing the equipment and technique behind braising in incredible detail. Then she provides unfussy but impressive-sounding recipes to make the most of your newfound braising skills. A little hint: The vegetable recipes are some of the best.

Flavor King Pluot Jam

There are a lot of artisanal jams out there, some good and some grossly overpriced. Though I’ve tasted hundreds of them, I still haven’t had any as good as those made by Oakland’s June Taylor, who has been making what she calls “conserves” out of superb Northern California produce for more than 25 years now. The Dapple Dandy pluot conserve tastes like you’re taking a bite out of the juiciest pluot in the world, with just enough acidity to offset the sweetness.

Baratza Encore Coffee Grinder

There’s a lot to be said for Baratza’s entry-level Encore grinder, which comes in a lighter-weight, all-plastic housing. It packs the same motor as the more expensive Virtuoso, and it includes a slightly less effective burr set that grinds nearly as well as—and slightly more slowly than—the Virtuoso. Also worth knowing is you can upgrade the burr set in the Encore to the one made for the Virtuoso, if you do ever end up feeling like the Encore isn’t quite cutting it.

The Dumpling Galaxy Cookbook

While you certainly can make dumplings on your own, it’s always better (and more fun) with company. Give your mom the gift of this amazing compendium of dumpling recipes, along with a promise to join her in the kitchen for a good old-fashioned dumpling party.

Espresso Cups

Pretty espresso cups make a nice hostess gift and stocking stuffer on their own for coffee fiends. But when they’re Le Creuset, they’re even better—mostly because everything from the French heritage brand is aesthetically pleasing and built to last. Oh, and these cups might be the most affordable Le Creuset pieces on the market. So, if you want in on the trend for a moderate price, they make a good starter item.

Ultra-Deep Cake Pans

Whether you’re baking cakes from scratch or from a mix, giving the batter more room to grow will minimize doming, for thicker, more level layers. Light, reflective metal also minimizes browning to keep the cake crust delicate and pale. Because the pans are nonreactive, they can also be used with poke cakes that involve acidic liquids, like lemon juice.

Louie Mueller’s Brisket

Brisket is Texas’s best-known contribution to barbecue culture, and, though you can now get slow-smoked brisket in just about every major American city, you still need to go to the source to get brisket so good it will make you cry. But if you can’t make it to Texas, ordering Louie Mueller’s brisket is the next best thing. The Muellers have been smoking brisket since 1949. The key here? They ship the whole brisket, which means you get plenty of the critically important fatty half. Why is it critically important? Because we all know that fat is flavor. Phone orders only: 512-352-6206.

Elegant (But Dishwasher-Safe) Wine Glasses

These wine glasses feel fancy enough for an elegant dinner party—and you can throw them in the dishwasher after, which is a pretty rare attribute. Their sturdy construction means you (or your giftee) can expect to hang on to these for several years.

MAC Professional Santoku Knife

This santoku from MAC’s professional line is an absolute pleasure to use, no matter the task. It’s lightweight, well balanced, sharp as can be, and comfortable to hold. It made perfect carrot cuts, broke down a chicken with ease, and filleted a whole fish as if it were a fish-shaped block of butter.

Good Kitchen Shears

A good pair of kitchen shears is one of those things that are hard to appreciate until you have them. Sure, there are all the obvious uses, like opening food packages with a snip and cutting up poultry, but that’s just the start. Take another look at those things. Yes, that’s right, they’re also a nutcracker. Aha, yup, and a bottle opener. Did you see the flathead screwdriver built into them? Handy, right? Oh, they can also be used to unscrew stubborn jar tops. They’re way more than just a pair of scissors. Plus, the two blades come fully apart, so you can wash them really well—no icky chicken juice hiding in the recesses. Isn’t avoiding salmonella poisoning a gift worth giving?

The Food Lab: Better Home Cooking Through Science

A New York Times best-seller! The Food Lab: Better Home Cooking Through Science, by J. Kenji López-Alt, is his column by the same name on this very website, blown up to 900-plus pages (and seven-plus pounds) of concentrated culinary science. Gorgeous color photos, detailed how-tos, and elaborate explainers cover ingredients, technique, gear, and the secrets of the universe underneath it all. May include puns.

Chef’s Press

If you love beautifully seared steaks, golden-brown grilled cheese sandwiches, and crispy-skinned fish and poultry, this is a great thing to have in your kitchen. Chef’s presses help you get even contact between ingredients and your skillet. They’re vented, so you won’t accidentally steam your food, and they’re stackable, so you can get a couple for weighing down heftier items.

Extra-Large Silicone Ice Cube Tray

Souper Cubes is the brainchild of two Serious Eaters, Michelle and Jake, who wanted to develop a better way to portion and freeze soups, stocks, and stews. The food-grade silicone mold features four one-cup cube molds, perfect for meal-prepping and stocking up on winter warmers for the long, cold months ahead.

Effie’s Oatcakes

They may not come in the most festive or glamorous packaging, but you can’t go wrong with Effie’s Oatcakes. Buttery, crumbly, nutty, and salty-sweet, they’re insanely addictive. Case in point: I’ve eaten three in the last 10 minutes. My advice? Purchase them in bulk so you can gift a few backages and hoard the rest for yourself.

Egg Cups

Any mom who loves soft-boiled eggs deserves the perfect cup to eat them from. These sturdy stoneware Le Creuset cups come in a range of beautiful colors. They’re totally classic, which is a good thing because they’ll also last for generations to come.

Modified Martini Glasses

Ah, martini glasses: so angular and sexy, so prone to making me look like a drunk as I struggle to keep a generously poured beverage within their confines. The traditional wide bowl, delicate stem, and sharply sloping sides are meant to enhance the botanical aromas of the gin, keep the drink frosty-cold, and provide a comfortable wall for a cocktail pick to lean against, respectively—but in practice, all those features feel like bugs for clumsy-fingered folk like me. So I sought out a design that wrapped up those attributes in a more user-friendly package, and discovered this lovely set of glasses. The broad mouth remains, but the conical shape has been softened and the stem fattened (which, if I’m being honest, will make me all the more inclined to actually use that stem instead of clutching the bowl for dear life). Got no space for uni-tasking glassware? These double nicely as pretty dessert dishes.

Portable Kitchen Timer

I can’t tell you how many times I burn bread crumbs or forget about the nuts I’m toasting in the oven. At least, I used to. That was all before I got myself a couple of these easy-to-use, loud kitchen timers that I can hang around my neck, so I never forget about something in the kitchen, even if I leave the room.

Vitamix Blender

Oh, man, do I love my Vitamix. Whether I’m making super-quick smoothies or the creamiest, smoothest purées and soups imaginable, the Vitamix is unparalleled in its power. Best gift I’ve ever received (thanks, dear!).

Tacos: Recipes and Provocations

My good friend Jordana Rothman cowrote this thoughtful ode to tacos with Chef Alex Stupak, and it’s a must-have for any Mom ready to take a deep dive into corn, masa, tortillas, and everything—modern and traditional—you can stuff into them.

Heilala Vanilla Extract

This is one of the more complex vanillas Stella’s come across. It has the same grassy, vegetal aroma of a freshly split vanilla bean with a flavor that’s both earthy and deep. It’s a double fold vanilla, which means you can get away with using half as much in your favorite recipes—something worth remembering when you consider the cost.

Stainless Steel Food Scale With Pull-Out Display

A good digital scale is an essential tool for bakers or home charcuterie makers. The OXO Food Scale comes with an easy-to-clean, removable stainless steel weighing surface; great accuracy and precision; and a backlit pull-out display to make measuring easy, even for large or unwieldy items.

Ice Cream Maker

Homemade ice cream tastes better than almost anything you can buy in a store, and it’s a snap to make. This ice cream maker, from Cuisinart, is all the gear you need: an easy-to-use workhorse that makes delicious ice cream every time. The simple construction means that there are few moving parts to break, and the wide mouth at the top makes it easy to add mix-ins and scoop out your ice cream when it’s at its fresh, creamy best.

6-Quart Instant Pot

The Instant Pot Duo60 is a fantastic value and performed almost as well as the top pick among countertop pressure cookers we tested. It’s easy to use, the company has a reputation for great customer service, and there’s an avid and helpful community of users online to boot.

Mixing Glass

This hand-blown and -etched mixing glass from Japan looks stunning on a bar cart and even better in action, whether you’re stirring a Negroni, a Martini, or a Manhattan. Mixing glasses made from two parts joined together sometimes split at the seam, but this version, made in one piece with a beaker-like spout, can stand up to heavy use.

Bread Knife

When I tested bread knives earlier this year, I was absolutely blown away by the cutting quality of Tojiro’s bread knife. It surpassed every other serrated knife I tested, cutting beautifully clean slices of even the most tender bread, and making quick, neat work of ripe tomatoes. It’s a must-have as far as I’m concerned.

Pasta by Hand: A Collection of Italy’s Regional Hand-Shaped Pasta

No pasta machine? No problem. This book is devoted to the art of handcrafted Italian dumplings, from yeasty spindle-shaped cecamariti to classic gnocchi to golden-brown parallelograms of deep-fried crescentine. If the adage “practice makes perfect” fills your mom with excitement rather than dread, this is the kind of book that will make her utterly determined to prevail.

Pastry Tips for Decorating

This epic set of stainless steel pastry tips is perfect for the home baker with professional-grade aspirations…or the food-enthused, arts-and-craftsy Mom in your life. With this kit in hand, nothing but practice stands between her and gorgeous piped flowers, leaves, stars, and beyond.

Mastering Pasta: The Art and Practice of Handmade Pasta, Gnocchi, and Risotto

If you’re looking to give your mom the one definitive primer on pasta-making in its myriad forms, this is it: Superlative step-by-step photographs take the guesswork out of potentially intimidating fundamentals like mixing and kneading dough, as well as more intricate tasks, like pleating teardrops of corn- and cheese-stuffed culurgiònes. Better yet, Vetri arms you with the tools and knowledge that allow for controlled, intelligent experimentation and exploration before sending you into the fray.

Blade Protectors

At a certain point, you need to give up on proper knife storage and just think safety: How can I toss this knife into a drawer and not cut myself on it later when fishing around for matches? The answer is blade guards. It’s smart to put them on knives in a knife bag, but they’re also essential if you’re keeping any knives in a place where they’re free to bang around—they’ll protect the blade edges and you.

AeroGarden Harvest

Cooking with fresh herbs makes every recipe better. Cooking with fresh herbs that you grew all by yourself makes life better. The AeroGarden takes the guesswork out of growing herbs inside, with an automated light to keep your parsley and thyme thriving and weekly reminders for water and nutrients. Just prepare yourself for epic amounts of basil.

Baking Steel

I’ve cracked my way through quite a few baking stones. With the Baking Steel—a solid sheet of steel designed to replace a baking stone—that’s a thing of the past. Not only will it last forever, but, with superior thermal properties, it produces the best pizza crusts I’ve ever seen in a home oven.

Pizza Wheel

When it comes to portioning pizza, a knife simply won’t cut it. At least, not if you don’t want to drag cheese and toppings all over the place. For my money, nothing beats a traditional pizza wheel.

Best All-Around Pepper Mill

On more than one occasion, I’ve been tempted to try out the cool new pepper mill on the block, but none of the ones I’ve used have held up over time. That’s why I’ve settled on a good old classic, a wooden Peugeot pepper mill. The steel burrs last and deliver whatever grind I want, from fine-as-silt to chunky and coarse.

Straight-Sided Sauté Pan

When my little sister first moved out and started cooking on her own, this straight-sided sauté pan from All-Clad was the first gift I sent to her. It has a wide, flat base for searing off big batches of meat, and high sides so you can braise, stew, or simmer several meals’ worth of food directly in it. It’s the ideal vessel for stove-to-oven dishes like this Braised Chicken With White Beans, or a one-pot pasta dish like our Macaroni and Beef. Versatile and robust, it makes comfort food all the more comforting.

The Chili Cookbook

This isn’t just a chili cookbook. Robb Walsh digs deep into the beloved dish’s ancestry, tracing threads through Mexico City, San Antonio, and Santa Fe—as you might expect—but also Hungary, Greece, and the Canary Islands (off the coast of North Africa). Walsh is one of food writing’s best storytellers, so the book is satisfying even if you never whip out your Dutch oven and get cooking. You should, though: The fascinating tale is best enjoyed with a big bowl of chile con carne. (Walsh’s recipe from El Real in Houston is killer.)

Espro Press P5

Thanks to a few simple innovations in the filter and beaker design, this French press fixes some of the brewing device’s biggest drawbacks. The result is a cleaner batch of coffee that won’t accidentally over-steep.

The One True Barbecue

Race relations, religion, the New South versus the Old: These are just a smattering of the heavy issues Rien Fertel writes about through the lens of—well—smoked meat, in this new book. And, while you might be thinking, “Oh, man, another book about barbecue?”, this one stands out from the crowd thanks to Fertel’s superb writing and storytelling skills. In a book that’s part culinary history, part personal narrative, and part tale of an American road trip, Fertel travels throughout the South, documenting the men who have long stood behind the fires practicing the time-consuming pursuit of whole hog barbecue—the ones who have been keeping alive the embers of what once seemed like a dying art, and the ones who are inspiring a new generation of pitmasters today.

Countertop Seltzer Maker

Make your own seltzer water at home with this easy-to-use unit. It comes equipped with LED indicators displaying three levels of carbonation and a BPA-free bottle that locks into the unit with no twisting, and it requires no batteries or electricity to operate. This model fits 14.5-ounce and three-ounce CO2 cylinders, which can be traded in for just the cost of the gas at your local hardware or home-goods store.

Estela

We usually aren’t the biggest fans of the big and beautiful cookbooks put out by super fancy restaurants, in part because they have limited appeal to most home cooks, even if they are fascinating windows into the processes and methods of some of the best chefs in the world. We’ll make an exception for Estela by Ignacio Mattos, though, since it’s as inspiring as it is informative.

Ceramic Sangria Pitcher

If there is sangria on the menu, Kristina’s mom is ordering it. It’s an endeavor she’s tackled at home only a few times, but with this pitcher on hand, she might be more inclined to make it regularly. The pinched spout is a genius detail that keeps all the fruit and ice from splashing into your glass, and when it’s not filled with sangria, it can be used as a vase. We love a two-fer!

Mediterranean Mortar and Pestle

In the south of France, Italy, and other Mediterranean regions, marble mortars with wooden pestles (often made of olivewood) are quite common. It’s next to impossible to find this variety in US stores, unless you get lucky and find one at an antiques shop or estate sale. They can, however, be ordered online. We got ours through an Italian vendor on Etsy, and it’s an object of pure beauty. More importantly, it excels at making pesto and similar sauces, as well as emulsified sauces like mayonnaise and aioli.

Island Creek Oysters by Mail

Few things get me as excited as a good raw bar, but most of the time, I eat far less than I want because, after the first couple dozen oysters or so, it just gets to be too expensive. That’s even truer when the oysters are top-notch, like the briny little suckers from Island Creek up in Massachusetts. But here’s the good news: You can order Island Creek’s oysters online by the 50- or 100-count for much less than they cost at most restaurants, and have them in your hands the next day for an at-home shucking extravaganza. (Obviously, it helps to learn how to shuck first.)

Wine Carafe with Oak Stopper

I spent most of 2018 getting into wine, and one of my biggest takeaways was that most wines could benefit from a decant. Does a wine feel closed—like it has only one note on the nose or the tongue? Then it definitely needs to aerate in a decanter. This one is an inexpensive glass model with a chic wooden topper, from the Scandinavian brand Sagaform. It looks just as good on your bar cart or shelf as it does on the dinner table, and will give your Bordeaux a little room to breathe.

The Cocktail Chronicles

Having The Cocktail Chronicles at your side is like having a friend who always knows a good drink recipe for whatever you’ve got on hand. It doesn’t talk your ear off or suggest something with a dozen ingredients. Instead, it shares classics, recent spins on classics, and drinks you’ve never heard of but can easily mix up and enjoy, and the introductions are never preachy or boring. This book will appeal to full-on cocktail fanatics and newbies alike; there’s something delicious on every page.

Cast Iron Revolving Cake Stand

I can’t fathom decorating a birthday cake without this sturdy, heavy-bottomed stand. It speeds the process of crumb coating and decoration, while allowing for a whole new array of finishing techniques. It can also double as a lazy susan, so it’s often on my dinner table, piled with condiments and toppings, even when there’s no cake in sight.

Beyond Curry Indian Cookbook: A Culinary Journey Through India

Indian food has a reputation for being difficult and time-consuming, with hard-to-find ingredients and new techniques. I get it. It’s intimidating. But in this book, Serious Eater Denise D’silva Sankhé breaks Indian cooking down into simple techniques that any home cook can master to produce amazingly flavorful dishes with minimal effort. Over the course of more than 100 recipes, Denise introduces us to simple cooking from every region of India, focusing on home-style dishes that move well beyond the world of curries. I’m also super stoked that she’s included notes with every recipe on whether it’s vegan, vegetarian, and/or allergy-friendly.

Microplane

Another essential kitchen tool, the Microplane grater does fine grating work way better than those tiny, raspy holes on a box grater. Whether you’re quickly grating fresh nutmeg or cinnamon, taking the zest off a lemon, or turning a clove of garlic into a fine purée, the Microplane is the tool to reach for. It’ll make a great gift for the budding cooking enthusiast.

Intense Drinking Chocolate

This isn’t your standard hot cocoa. It’s a rich drinking-chocolate mix, made from organic, 74% cacao single-plantation chocolate from the Dominican Republic and 68% cacao wild-harvested chocolate from Bolivia. Whisk the ground chocolate with warm milk for an intense cocoa experience: It’s silky and deep, with hints of orange zest, cinnamon, and juicy berries, tempered by a subtly bitter edge.

Hero Dinners: Complete One-Pan Meals That Save the Day

Marge Perry and David Bonom’s cookbook is perfect for the giftee who loves to cook but hates a mess. Each recipe requires just one pan (or sheet pan), allowing the cook to enjoy precious downtime with family—and spend less time at the sink.

Tsukemono Round Pickle Press

The quick pickles common in Japanese cuisine that go by the name asazuke, or “morning pickles,” are typically made in a contraption similar to this one. The screwable tamper is spring-loaded, which exerts consistent pressure on sliced, salted vegetables, which presses out excess water and creates a highly seasoned brine, which then flavors the vegetables. The small size is perfect for anyone who wants to experiment with the technique.

Cuisinart Blender

The Cuisinart is an easy-to-use, powerful blender that aced many of our tests. This model’s dashboard is intuitive, and it features a built-in timer that counts down for you or can be programmed to stop after a certain number of seconds.

12-Inch All-Clad Stainless Steel Pan

The slope-sided skillet, like this one from All-Clad, is a chef’s best friend and one of the most versatile pans in the kitchen, whether you’re sautéing vegetables, searing meat, or cooking one of our dozens of one-pan meals. The best have solid stainless steel construction, with an aluminum core for even heat distribution.

Punch Bowl Set

We have this 10-piece punch bowl set in our office, and it’s been put to very good use. It’s big and impressive while still being affordable, which are the best qualities you can hope for in holiday-party decor.

Zojirushi Rice Cooker

A couple years ago, I managed to convince my wife of the necessity of buying a rice cooker. Not just any rice cooker: a Zojirushi. The only concession I was willing to make had to do with the size, since she wisely noted that we didn’t have the counter space for any rice cooker at all, let alone the kind of rice cooker that I had in mind. So I bought a little guy that fits, max, three cups of rice, but really is only usable for about two and a half. She’s since come around to the indisputable excellence of the cooker, and she loves everything about it, from the wonderful rice it makes to the “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” it plays when you turn it on. But since we’re moving to a bigger apartment with counter space enough for a small rice cooker, I think it’s high time we got an upgrade, so Mother’s Day seems like a perfect opportunity to get the 5.5-cup model.

All-Clad One-Quart Saucier

The low, sloping walls of this small 1-quart saucepan make whisking easy, perfect for making and finishing delicate sauces, and reducing small volumes of liquids. It’s also small enough to double as a butter-melter.

Le Creuset Cake Stand

If you’ve ever been given a homemade birthday cake, return the favor by buying your favorite baker this iconic cake stand. Its heavy base keeps cakes secure and makes all types of decorating techniques a breeze.

Rice, Noodle, Fish

Warning: Reading this book might lead to the purchase of some very expensive plane tickets. The Roads & Kingdoms crew will get you hungry for a journey to Japan, for onigiri basted with chicken fat, juicy one-bite gyoza, milky-white tonkotsu ramen broth, and briny sea urchin. Is Japan the best place on earth to eat? This book will convince you that it is.

[Header photograph: Shutterstock]

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milesfromjapan · 6 years ago

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Fireside Nights

a/n: i really miss it being cold outside and shawn’s hp snapchat gave me feels.

With the fire crackling next to your head, the world felt calm. You sighed contentedly and closed your eyes, letting yourself enjoy the warmth of the fire dancing across your skin. You hummed softly to yourself as a calm came over you before shrugging off your sweater, not needing it anymore since the fire was blazing next to you. You leaned back against the sofa, grateful for moments like these when the world felt far away and all you felt was comfort and warmth and love, so much love.

“Goddamn, you’re beautiful.”

Shawn’s words pulled you out of your head and back to him. You looked over to see him leaned against the doorway, a pair of shorts hanging loosely off his hips and a thin t-shirt clinging to his torso, with two mugs overflowing with marshmallows in his hands. He was so beautiful with his hair completely undone and a lazy smile on his face like that.

“You did not get the big marshmallows,” you practically moaned when you took notice of the large marshmallows floating on top of the mugs, blocking the hot chocolate from view.

“You like them better,” he shrugged, a lazy smile on his face as he handed you your favorite blue mug.

You immediately popped one of the massive marshmallows into your mouth, the hot chocolate that had soaked into it running down your throat, warning you up from the inside. Shawn sat on the pillow-covered ground next to you, his marshmallows bobbing in his mug with his movements. He let out a long sigh of relief when none of it spilled and popped a dripping marshmallow into his mouth as a reward, letting out a satisfied hum at the sweetness.

“10 out of 10,” you laughed. “Master of not spilling his hot chocolate.”

Shawn laughed, but he still had the marshmallow in his mouth so it came out muffled, followed by a choking sound, then more laughter as he tried to keep marshmallow from spraying out of his mouth. You openly laughed at his struggles causing him to feign being hurt, throwing his best puppy dog eyes your way and jutting his bottom lip out. The expression was cute and he knew it, but you didn’t fall for it that time.

“Nope,” you picked up another sticky marshmallow with two of your fingers, “sometimes my role in your life is to laugh at your pain.”

He shook his head before fighting back the marshmallows to take a sip of his hot chocolate.

“You know, hot chocolate is more of a winter-”

“Don’t you dare,” you cut him off. “I needed to wear a jacket outside today, meaning it is hot chocolate weather. Hot chocolate is appropriate whenever I have to wear a jacket.”

Shawn put his free hand up, declaring himself the loser of the argument and resigning to agreeing with your clearly superior opinion. You laughed, which made him laugh again. You loved his laugh. It made your heartbeat pick up just a little and the love you felt for him warm you like your hot chocolate was doing, but deeper down inside you.

“Ready?” he asked you.

“Always.”

Your best Snape impression made him say, "God, you suck,” with a shake of his head. “I think I’ll keep you anyway.”

“Oh please, like I’d let you get rid of me,” you joked back.

He smiled that lazy smile of his that made you roll your eyes as he pressed play on the remote and the familiar music flooded the apartment. You loudly sang along to the notes in a series of ‘dun’ and ‘dah’ noises, probably off-key, but he didn’t care. He just laughed and joined along as much as he laughter would let him. The introductory music to Harry Potter is a classic and you’d fight anyone who disagreed.

You scooted over toward Shawn so your leg was pressed against his, but that clearly wasn’t enough contact for Shawn. He pulled his arms back wide and gestured for you to move to sit in between his legs. He took your hot chocolate from you in an act of self-preservation so you could slide into between his legs without creating a mess all over him. When you settled with your back against his warm chest, you took your hot chocolate back greedily, your fingers begging for the warm cup. He kissed your head, clearly amused by your actions before turning his attention toward the film. You both knew practically every word by heart, but that didn’t mean you watched it absentmindedly. Harry Potter was serious business, even if Half-Blood Prince wasn’t either of your favorite movies. You loved Goblet of Fire. Shawn was partial to Order of the Phoenix.

You drank your hot chocolate slowly, trying to balance savoring each sip and making sure it didn’t get too cold as the movie began. Shawn’s free hand was drawing lazy shapes on your hip under your shirt. He always had a hand on you, keeping you close, but you were pretty sure he didn’t do it consciously. He just liked the way your skin felt under his fingertips. His long, strong arms wrapped around your stomach, securing you to him. His chin rested on your shoulder, his ear pressed against yours.

“Hi there,” you chuckled, reaching a hand up to run your fingers through his messy, chocolate curls, fluffing them up with your actions. “You’re pretty cute.”

“Yeah, well, you’re stunning.”

Shawn kissed your temple before relaxing his head back, full attention returning to the movie with one of his arms around your stomach, keeping you close. As the movie continued, Shawn kept bringing you closer and closer to him until you were basically on top of him, curled into his chest, your head raising and lowering with each breath he took. The fire was still dancing across your skin, which in combination with Shawn, was making you feel warm from head to toe, inside and out. One of his large hands was gently rubbing up and down your back and his eyes were trained on the screen, watching Ron under the influence of a love potion and his subsequent love of a girl he’d never met.

“I was that stupid over you the first time I met you,” Shawn spoke softly. “Everyone thought I was going nuts because I straight up could not stop talking about you.”

You smiled softly before replying, “Oh trust me, the feeling was mutual. I was so into you. My roommates were so sick of hearing about you.”

“You think your roommates were sick of you? Try asking the guys I was writing with then,” he laughed. “Pretty sure they wanted to punch me. I kept asking them for advice and flipping out everytime you texted me. We got, like, nothing done because I was so obsessed about making sure I was doing and saying everything right. Like, a ten-word text would take me fifteen minutes to figure out.”

“And you’re supposed to be good at expressing your emotions,” you joked. “I just flew by the seat of my pants, to be honest. If I thought too much, I never would’ve texted you back.” You looked up at him before asking, “Any chance you’ve got chocolate and graham crackers to go with the extra marshmallows?”

“Yes to the chocolate, definitely no to the graham crackers,” he replied. “Sorry, babe.”

“Roasted marshmallows then?” you asked.

“Down for whatever you want to do.”

He kissed your head as you snuggled back into his chest. You were wrapped up in him, his heartbeat making you feel steady and loved. The crackling of the fire in combination with one of your favorite movies with one of your favorite people was making your heart feel so full as the movie came to a close. The credits began to roll across the screen and you rolled out of Shawn’s grasp, stretching out, unstiffening joints that hadn’t moved on almost two hours. A crack from Shawn’s direction let you know he was doing exactly what you were doing. Turns out, he was doing it faster because he reached out from above you and hoisted you up off the ground, making you squeal and him laugh loudly.

He half-carried, half-dragged you toward the kitchen, your sock-covered feet skating across the slick flooring. When you got to the kitchen, you could see the bag of marshmallows waiting on the counter. Shawn’s fingers laced in between yours as you reached the counter, his strong arms controlling yours as he made you reach for the marshmallows, stopping you just inches short of your sugary sweet goal.

“Are you having trouble there?” Shawn teased. “Just grab them, babe. Come on. This is easy! Just grab the marshmallows!”

You whined and slammed your back against his chest, making him stumble back half a step and a lough laugh escape his throat. You’d been hearing that beautiful sound a lot tonight and it made your heart happy each time you heard it. He finally surrendered, releasing your hands to allow you to capture your prize. You sighed in relief, holding the bag tightly in your hands, before letting Shawn guide you back to your spot in front of the fire.

“You said you’d never use these,” you sang softly as you spiked a marshmallow with a roasting stick, “but yet, here we are.”

“I literally only use these with you and when I’m drunk,” Shawn countered before copying your movements as you started to roast your marshmallow, keeping it just above the flames so it didn’t burn. “These are definitely still a gift for you in disguise as a gift for me.”

“I can’t hear you over the sound of my marshmallow starting to melt.”

Shawn scoffed before he stuck his marshmallow directly into the flames, lighting it on fire. He liked his burnt, one of his major flaws. He pulled the marshmallow out once it was blackened to his liking and quickly put the flames out so it didn’t char past what he wanted. You were patient, letting your marshmallow gently brown over the flames, toasting the edges softly. Shawn cursed as he bit down on the marshmallow and you snorted.

“Well, you set it on fire. Of course it’s hot,” you informed him with a roll of your eyes.

“You know, I didn’t ask for you,” Shawn teased back. “Maybe I’ll return you. I just gotta find the receipt.”

“Nah, you’ve passed the ninety-day limit on returns, so you’ve got to keep me,” you countered easily.

“Damn,” Shawn laughed, unable to keep a straight face anymore.

You shoved his shoulder playfully. He barely kept his black marshmallow from hitting the ground as he stumbled to the side, catching his weight on his forearm. He glared at you before shoving you back. You were prepared for his retaliation and you barely budged. Shawn huffed in annoyance before popping his definitely still too hot marshmallow into his mouth just as you pulled your superiority toasted one from above the fire.

You blew on your marshmallow for a minute as Shawn lit his second one on fire, popping it into your mouth when it was sufficiently cooled, humming in pleasure at the warm, sugary, sticky goodness.

“Marshmallows are straight from heaven,” you informed Shawn as he repeated his mistakes from his first marshmallow, burning his mouth again with his second one.

“You must have brought them with you when you came down.”

Shawn’s face was smug, a smile playing at the corner of his lips as he relished in his corny joke. You rolled your eyes as slowly and in the most exaggerated manner you could, making him bark out a laugh as you started to properly roast your second. Lightly brown was the way to go. He could burn marshmallows in front of you for the rest of your life, but you’d always make fun of him for it.

Shawn put his stick aside and slid behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and tucking his face into your neck. You felt his chest expand against your back as he took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, his breath fanning out across your skin, as he relaxed into you. You felt the tension melting from his shoulders with each passing second. You took your free hand and softly rubbed one of his forearms.

“I love you,” you told him softly. “You’re my little snug bug.”

Shawn chuckled against your skin and placed a gentle kiss there before replying, “I love you too, even if you might prefer marshmallows to me.”

tag list: @another-hopeless-daydreamer

#shawn mendes #Shawn Mendes Imagine #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fluff #boyfriend!shawn #shawn mendes imagines #shawn mendes writings #shawn mendes writing

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macandlacy · 6 years ago

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“His Baby” updates!

Chapter 5: Bedtime RoutineSummary:

Summary: From a prompt by HCShannon: Stuff like putting him to bed, swaddling him in blankets, then reading him a story.

John liked routine, and had had a self-imposed bedtime since he was a youngster. He adjusted it a little as he got older, but not by a lot. Really the only exceptions were gigs that ran late or the occasional study sessions. But he was good about budgeting his time, and except for a performance, he was rarely up past his bedtime.

Especially with Freddie around.

The singer had two modes and schedules when it came to John’s bedtime- at home, and on tour. When at home, it was pretty easy to keep John on his schedule; recording sessions simply ended when it was time to head home so John would have time to properly unwind and relax. His usual bedtime was around 11:00, depending on the schedule for the next day.

But when on tour, it was a lot more difficult. The more successful Queen became, the longer the after parties tended to go. Sometimes the show wasn’t even done until after 10:00, and then the party was going strong until the wee hours of the night. It could take hours for John to settle down after a good show.

So Freddie learned to play it largely by ear, although he always aimed for around 1:00 am when they had another show the next day. Midnight would be better, he fretted, but it was seldom realistic. The best Freddie could do was insist that parties were always at their hotel, so all he had to do was get John tucked in bed upstairs, and then he could easily return to the festivities. Clubbing was reserved for nights when they didn’t have a show the following day and John was allowed to stay up later.

People often wondered where Freddie had disappeared to, and Brian and Roger would just shrug. It was usually assumed that he had gone off with someone, and truth was, he had. It was just he had gone with John, and not a party person.

“I’m not tired,” John fussed.

“Yes, you are,” Freddie said. He started running a bath and made sure to add John’s favorite bubbles and bath salts. They’d all had showers just a few hours earlier at the venue, but Freddie knew a bath would settle John the quickest. He heard the tinkling of the mini-fridge and frowned.

“John, no more drinking,” he said firmly, going out the living room area. Sure enough, John was just about the pull the tab on a can of beer.

“One more?” John pleaded, using his puppy eyes. Fortunately, Freddie was immune to puppy eyes.

“Decaf tea,” Freddie said sternly. He started the kettle and picked out a chamomile blend. John huffed, but accepted the cup when it was ready and stomped off to the bathroom.

“Wash behind your ears,” Freddie called. John muttered something in return, waving his hand.

Freddie got the bedroom ready for his son, making sure the temp was set to how John liked it and fluffing the pillows. They were sharing a two bedroom suite, Freddie’s favorite set up when on tour as it enabled him to keep on eye on his boy, and he was nearby if John had a nightmare. The fact that John seldom had nightmares didn’t matter to the singer; he needed to be close just in case.

John emerged from the bath dressed in his favorite Disney pajamas and Freddie barely resisted the urge to take a photo; Deaky was just too cute for words. Of course it was also pretty funny to see John in a Disney shirt and his mouse ears, chugging a beer. Freddie allowed John to drink only on special occasions and finding a new Disney shirt had been rated a suitable event.

“Did you take your vitamins and medicine?”

“Yes, Freddie.”

“Good, good.”

Freddie tucked John into bed, fussing to find a channel on the television that would give some noise but not be annoying. Anything violent was of course not allowed, and the news could be distressing. Freddie finally found a nature documentary that looked suitably boring and adjusted the volume so it was just enough for some slight background noise. John was already yawning, pleasantly relaxed after his bath and having drank just enough to be sleepy without being drunk. “Alright dear boy, I will be back soon. Just call to the front desk if you need anything.”

“I’m fine,” John protested mildly.

“Of course you are,” Freddie murmured reassuringly. He continued to tuck the sheets and blankets firmly under the mattress until John was practically pinned to the bed, swaddled securely. “Do you want a story?”

“No,” John wrinkled his nose. “The television is fine.”

“Alright.” Freddie kissed his forehead. “Glass of water is on the nightstand. The light is on in the bathroom. I’ll leave the door to my bedroom open. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Freddie.”

John waited a few minutes to make sure Freddie was gone, and then started the struggle to get free. Tonight wasn’t too bad; some nights John swore that Freddie had tied him to the bed. He managed to get his arms free and from there it was easy.

John fetched his beer from the mini frig, and flipped through the channels until he came to the pay-for-view section. Umm…..”Hot Tub University: Bikini’s gone wild.” Sounded interesting.

***********************************************************************

Chapter 6: BreakdownSummary:

Summary: John didn’t ask for much. Just one little thing after a horrible day. And when he’s not happy, Papa isn’t happy….

"John Richard Deacon Mercury, unlock the door this instant, young man!" His full name. John was in serious trouble.

Notes:

From a prompt by Bella: Maybe John throwing a tantrum?? Or getting super overwhelmed???

Chapter Text

John handed his autism well. He knew what bothered him, and worked hard to avoid it. Of course, in the career he had found himself in, it was hard to avoid stress and noise was 100% part of the deal. But he could usually block things out when Freddie, Brian, and Roger were having an epic argument (he knew they wouldn’t actually hurt each other). He could block out the chaos from a typical sound check. Audiences screaming were part of the deal, and once he got over his stage fright, he was able to concentrate on the music and truthfully didn’t usually even notice a crowd until the show was over.

And all the other things as well, he could usually tolerate. Reporters yelling questions, cameras in his face, a different hotel nearly every night. Freddie, Brian, and Roger shielded him as much as they could, and John did his breathing exercises and usually all was well.

Usually.

The problem was when everything happened at once, or everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Sometimes, there was a simple straw that broke the bassist’s back.

And Hell hath no fury like Mama Bear Freddie, backed up by Big Brothers Brian and Roger.

The plane had been delayed, making them have to go directly to the auditorium for sound check. John hated flying to begin with, and it was worse when they had sat on the plane for an hour, unable to disembark because of a back log at the gate. Then it was the Sound Check from Hell, with everything possible going wrong. John could have done a better job with the electronics when he was eight, and none of the venue staff would listen to him or let him try to fix it.

They were supposed to have dinner at the hotel and John had been looking forward to the time to relax, but they had to stay at the venue because everything was running late. The last-minute caterer had done a very good job, but there wasn’t a toaster or slices of cheese in sight, so no cheese on toast tonight.

He had really wanted cheese on toast. He hadn’t had it in *days*. At the hotels, they always seemed to have toast available from room service, but at the venue, it was plain white fluffy bread. The caterer had vegetarian for Brian, roasted meat for Roger, and some spicy curry for Freddie that made John’s stomach hurt just to look at it. But no toast or cheese.

What the Hell?

Maybe he could write a song about it. *oooh, you make me live. You’re my best friend; cheese on toast* Or maybe *can anybody find meeee….soooooome, some cheese on toast….*

Okay, he recognized the signs when he was obsessing. Didn’t make it any easier.

He got through the concert well enough despite the new lights and pyrotechnics, which he didn’t really like, visions of cheese on toast dancing in his head and keeping him steady. They were playing the same venue the next night, so the plan was to go back to the hotel and sleep in. John was confident he could score cheese on toast at some point, maybe even at the after party (it wouldn’t be the oddest thing Queen had asked room service or the hotel concierge for, after all).

But no, it all had to go to Hell. The after party was a disaster. Hotel in process of renovations and nothing working. Someone (John was pretty sure it was Ratty) had told the hotel as a joke that Queen had become Vegan non-drinkers, and the only thing at the tables was water and raw veggies (even Brian was bitching about the lack of alcohol and protein).

And John became overwhelmed.

He didn’t want to cause a scene. So he locked himself in a bathroom off the ballroom where the party was being held.

“John?” Freddie was knocking on the door during within minutes, always keeping an eye on John during parties. “What is wrong, darling?”

“Go away!” John wasn’t in the mood to deal with anything. He had his hands over his ears and was sitting on the floor, rocking.

“John, open the door this instant. We’ve talked about this before, young man. We don’t lock doors.”

That was true, a rule that Freddie had made the day John moved in with the band. Roger was the only one who was allowed a locked door, and only when he had someone for the night because Freddie was afraid of John being traumatized by what he might see. Freddie said it was a safety issue; he want to be able to reach John at all times, especially when he was having difficulty.

“I don’t want anyone to see anyone!” John yelled. He knew logically he was in a loop now that was just getting worse and worse, but he couldn’t help it. Locking himself away was just making the scene bigger and bigger.

There was a murmur of voices. “John!” Roger yelled. Oh great, John thought, now his brothers could be witness to his humiliation. “I swear I will break down this door. Unlock it now.”

“I don’t want anyone to see me!”

“Darling, they won’t if you unlock the door now. We’ll all go upstairs together. Unlock. This. Door. Now!”

John just rocked more, and kicked the wall. “No!”

“John Richard Deacon Mercury,” Freddie said firmly, and Oh, Shit. John knew he was in trouble when it was his full name. Well, not really his full name…it was even worse. “I am going to count to 5, and the door better be unlocked by then, young man. One!”

Tears were welling up now. “It’s stupid,” John tried. He was embarrassed now. “I’ll be fine. Just let me be.”

“Dear, nothing is stupid if its effecting you. Talk to us. Two!”

“I just wanted…..” he stopped, unable to continue.

“What do you need, darling? But I am not stopping the count. If I get to five, Roger is going to break down the door. Three!”

Shit, he was doomed.

“Four!”

John kicked the door, and then reach up to unlock it.

Freddie shoved his way in, and thank God, shut the door behind him so no one else could see John’s humiliation. A grown man, sitting on the floor of a bathroom, crying because he didn’t have cheese on toast.

“Darling, what is wrong?” Freddie was all mother hen mode now, clearly brooding as he gathered John into his arms. “I know its been a stressful day, dear. Is that what’s upset you? You know you can tell any of us if things get to be too much for you at any time.”

“I was alright,” John sniffed. “But—” he trailed off again.

“What, dear? Tell me.” Freddie had a hand on John’s chin, making the younger man look at him.

“I wanted….cheese on toast,” John confessed.

Freddie, Bless him, didn’t even blink. “Well of course,” he said calmly. “It’s your favorite food. They didn’t have it at the venue?”

“No,” John felt like he was whining, but Freddie was listening intently. “Not there and not here, either.”

“Fuck!” Contrary to popular belief, Freddie did listen to some of Brian’s speeches about vegetarianism, and understanding dawned. “No cheese – milk, and no bread - eggs.”

John nodded. “No toaster even if there was,” he added. “And, and…noise. And crowds. And the new sound and lights.” He didn’t need to elaborate. Freddie was finely attuned to what could affect John.

“Those bastards,” Freddie snared. He gathered John in a fierce hug. “Don’t worry. We will get you set up right away. Let’s go upstairs where its nice and quiet and dark, and you can take a nice bath and eat. In fact, let’s get Brian and Roger for a sleep over? Does that sound nice?”

“I just want cheese on toast,” John said in a small voice.

“And you shall have it!” Freddie stood, pulling John up with him. He opened the door, and thankfully it was only Roger and Brian who were present.

“We are all going upstairs,” Freddie said firmly. “Fuck this dead party. We are going to have a movie night and order in cheese on toast. And if the hotel doesn’t have it, send I am sending Ratty to Hell *after* he finds a market and makes cheese on toast.”

“Sounds good to me,” Brian immediately said. They all knew about John’s possible triggers and how he needed the comfort of familiarity.

“Yeah, its been a pisser of a day,” Roger agreed. “I mean, the Hell? Vegan non-drinkers? What the Fuck? Brian, are you *sure* you didn’t say something?”

“Screw you, Rog. You know I would never say non-drinker. And whoever thought Vegan means only raw veggies is stupid. Mammals can’t survive without some type of protein, and that’s a fact.”

Forty minutes later, John was in bed, calmed by a lavender bath, and clad in his favorite pajamas. Brian and Roger, now in their own pajamas, had gathered the contents of all their stocked mini-bars (including Ratty’s), and were mixing drinks while Freddie answered the door for room service in one of his elegant robes. He had screamed on the phone for five minutes about the Vital Importance of Cheese on Toast, and given strict instructions on how to prepare it. He had threatened to come down to the kitchens to make it himself it he wasn’t satisfied with what was delivered.

Then he called rooms and screamed at members of their crew, making damn sure they all ensured in the future that cheese on toast was 100% available at all times.

And booze.

He also threatened Ratty in vivid detail about what would happen if he ever again messed with the availability of cheese on toast. And booze. In fact, Ratty was now officially in charge of providing cheese on toast at the snap of Freddie’s fingers, and Ratty was truly terrified at the threats that made been made. He went back to his room to write a formal apology to John, and may or may not have found a church to pray in for forgiveness and asked a priest for penance.

Freddie had, of course, made sure that John was in the bathtub with the door closed and water running so he couldn’t hear the threats he had made. He was rather strict about foul language used in front of his son.

Thank God, room service rose to the occasion and provided booze, real food, and yes, Cheese On Toast.

Freddie fixed John a plate and handed it over to the young man, who eagerly accepted it. Everyone settled on the bed and they turned on a movie. John didn’t care what it was and he suspected that no one did. What was important was that they were together.

“We are going to have another talk tomorrow about locked doors, young man,” Freddie said sternly as he wiped John’s hands.

“Yes, Freddie,” John said meekly.

“And you are grounded for the rest of the week. Not because you were upset, darling; that happens, and its fine. Never apologize when you need space and quiet. But you knew not to lock the door. I’m not mad; I’m disappointed.”

“I’m sorry, Freddie.”

He felt bad about having a break down over food, but thankfully his family still accepted him. John still wanted to write a song.

*another toast bites the dust. And another one’s gone, and another one’s gone. Hey! I’m gonna get me some…cheese on toast!”

*******************************************************************

Chapter 7: Zooday

Summary: From a prompt by mtnsam: Maybe you can do one where they take him to Disney or a zoo? :D

John generally did not like crowds. Ironic, he knew, given his profession. But crowds at concerts didn’t bother him too much. He knew he was protected on stage by his band mates and their crew and the crowd couldn’t actually get to him. (Actually, his most reoccurring nightmare was him falling off the stage into a crowd. Freddie could always tell when he’d had that nightmare and would get him some warm milk and sing until he managed to go back to sleep).

Where John really hated crowds was in public places. Stores, restaurants, overcrowded clubs, etc…. There was a reason he ordered a lot of room service on tour and was pretty choosy about what clubs he would remain at. Crowds were just too overwhelming. So much chaos. So much talking. But he was usually okay.

He was also a fully functioning, highly capable adult. Freddie thought he was about 13, but John knew he meant no harm in it, and John was usually content to let Freddie have his harmless delusion. It was annoying, to be sure, but there were lots of benefits such as sweets and not having to worry about picking out clothes. It was easier to just let Freddie lay out clothing for events and all John had to be concerned with was casual day wear.

And even though John didn’t like crowds, he had a few exceptions, and there were times when his tolerance of a crowd was made even better when Freddie had woken up convinced that John needed a fun trip.

Like when Freddie decided to take John to the zoo.

“John, darling, I have a surprise for you!” Freddie cheered one morning at breakfast. “There is a new mammal habitat at the zoo and we are going today!”

“Wow, that’s great,” John said happily. He loved going to the zoo and seeing all the amazing animals.

“Now, eat a big breakfast, because I am not letting you fill up on too many sweets,” Freddie warned, putting a plate of toast and oatmeal in front of his son. “We can get a treat at the end.”

An hour later, after Freddie had packed a bag with sunscreen and made sure John had a hat, they headed off to the London zoo. John was more than willing to put up with crowds there in order to see the animals.

“Remember,” Freddie said, going over the rules when on outings as they rode in the taxi. “You stay with me, don’t wander away.”

“I know Freddie.”

“If you get lost, find a zoo worker – they all have uniforms and name badges – and we meet at the nearest security station.”

“Okay.”

“Drink a lot of water; it’s very humid.”

“I will.”

“Do you have our phone number memorized if you get lost and security asks you?”

John tilted his head a bit. “Do *you*?”

Freddie shook a finger in mild amusement. “No back talk. Do you know our phone number?”

“Yes, Freddie, I promise.”

“You don’t go anywhere with strangers, *especially* if they have candy.”

“I remember our talks about stranger danger, Freddie.” Really, John was about to toss Freddie out of the cab and go to the zoo himself, but he knew it would hurt the singer’s feelings and he would never do that.

They lined up for tickets at the automatic tellers, and John rolled his eyes when Freddie purchased one adult and one teen. While Freddie was distracted, John discreetly and quickly purchased another adult ticket, ready to slip it into the gate attendants’ hand. He dealt with this quite a lot, and had gotten rather good at secretly buying the proper adult ticket.

It didn’t hurt to allow Freddie his little delusions.

They toured the new exhibit and had lunch at a picnic area, Freddie fussing and making sure John had more sunscreen applied to his face. Freddie also bought John another stuffy, and John just smiled, happily carrying the large stuffed tiger. They mutually decided to name him Simba.

After lunch, they ended up at the best part of all; the petting zoo. John was glad he and Freddie weren’t the only adults in the area without kids. There was nothing wrong in childless adults wanting to pet the animals too.

John looked over at Freddie, who was talking nonsense to a baby llama. Ummm…..maybe he did have a child.

***************************************************************************

Chapter 8: My Best Friend

Summary: From a prompt by Wiggles91: How about when Autistic John wrote his first song about his wife Veronica "You're my best friend." And he is very scared to show it to his wife and to the boys because he thinks it's not good enough. So the boys bring Veronica to Rockfield Studios to help him with the song with encouragement from Freddie.

John had never considered himself a ‘songwriter’. He freely admitted he was sort of an accidental up and coming rock star. Had he set out to be a star like Freddie or Roger? Nope. Had he been determined to be a song poet and performer like Brian? Not at all. He had quite frankly auditioned for Queen because his father liked music and John’s therapist had insisted that he try to get out more.

And look where it had landed him.

In a very powerful up and coming band. With records released and more on the horizon. John just wanted cheese on toast and to play music, and yeah, he wanted Veronica. So sue him. He may be autistic, but he knew a lady when he saw one, and Veronica was all that and smart, and talented, and beautiful and just simply amazing.

And he was just plain John.

Veronica was SO out of his league. As was Queen. John kept thinking that everyone would wake up one day and realize it. But no.

Brian and Roger went out of their way to make John feel comfortable and part of the band. Every tiny bit he contributed was welcomed and applauded.

Veronica was simply….amazing. John honestly could not find words to describe what she meant to him. And this was from someone who thought he would never be loved, and really, truly, had not set out to find it. He was convinced that love was a nice feeling, but not one for him. Sure, someone people had had true love, and John respected and admired that. But it surely wasn’t for him. He wasn’t sure he would even *know* was love was.

And then he had met Veronica. At a disco, of all places.

And Freddie, the other most important person in his life after his Mum, sister, and Veronica, had done nothing but endorse Veronica. John had no choice but to put his worries aside, and trust in his Dad….er….he meant, Freddie.

And that had been a huge source of John’s nerves. He kept telling Veronica that he was different, and she just kept on smiling. Okay, she was training to be a teacher, and John figured that she had to put on that smile. But after a while he really began to suspect that she truly did understand, and did not judge him for it.

When he had to do certain routines to be comfortable, she just nodded, and even *helped* him. When he didn’t know what to do in a social situation, she was beside him, always smiling and gently helping him, acting as if his nerves were perfectly normal, and politely, sweetly, deadly, daring anyone to say otherwise.

If Freddie was his would-be-Dad, then Veronica was his would-be-Mum….but in a good sense. Not kinky or weird. It was really like his….wife….John finally realized.

Thank goodness he had the presence of mind to say Yes when she proposed to him.

Freddie for once was totally silent on the subject- just beaming with pride - but for the rest of his life, John suspected that Veronica had gone to Freddie and asked permission for his hand in marriage.

John didn’t lie…..he felt quite flattered and more than a bit woozy at the notion.

And the fact that Freddie always referred to John and Veronica’s children as his ‘Pautrō’ made John smile. He guessed they really were. Lord knew they would not have been born without Freddie’s encouragement. John would have been the virgin-in-a-rock-band if it wasn’t for Freddie giving him a pep talk and then shoving him in Veronica’s direction.

And Veronica. She was a wise, wise, woman of wisdom. Never underestimate her. John didn’t. He learned to just say “yes, dear,” and do as she said. It made life much simpler and happier. She was never wrong when it came to them. Thank God he could rely on her.

What was that saying? You could pick your friends, but not your family? In his down moments, John guessed that his band mates had to put up with him since they were family. But Veronica?

She *let* him sleep with her. On a number of occasions. Touch her inappropriately.

John was truly grateful.

And he was grateful when she showed up at Rockfield studio with a big smile and all her gentle strength.

“Play them your song,” she said gently.

“What? No!” he protested. It was crap, truly. He had just been messing around with notes and words. It wasn’t a *song*.

“Darling,” Freddie said, “Veronica already shared some of it with me. You simply MUST play it now.”

John shot Veronica a dark look, and she just smiled as usual. Okay, it was the sign that John was being ridiculous and he needed to go along with whatever she wanted.

“It’s dumb,” John muttered. “I mean the words, but it’s…..silly.” He wasn’t romantic. He didn’t know how to say things in actual conversations, let alone in a song. And now Brian, the lyrics specialist was smiling at him, and Roger, who could put words together almost as well as Brian was grinning in encouragement.

John frowned a little at Veronica….had she told the band? She smiled, and he sighed, knowing she had. Well, she did know best.

He went over to the piano and nervously ran his hands over the keys, trying to warm up. “I wanted to write a song for Veronica,” he mumbled. “But you know I’m dreadful with words. This is all I could come up with.” He cleared his throat, and reluctantly started to play.

Ohh, you make me live…You’re my best friend…

When he was done, Brian pulled him up into a hug before John could start making excuses about how bad a song it was. Then Roger was hugging him as well, and Freddie pulled Veronica into the group.

“Perfect!” Freddie was saying over and over. “It’s perfect!”

“John, you’re secret has been uncovered. We need more of your songs!” Brian said happily.

“I’m about ready to cry,” Roger joked, but by his smile and hug, John knew Roger was also pretty serious. “I can’t wait to play it.”

And Veronica just smiled, proud of her husband. She had known all along that he could do it. He just needed support and encouragement.

And his family would always make sure he had that.

***** Pautrō – Grandchildren

******************************************************************************

Chapter 9: I remember it all

Summary: From a prompt by Bella: John has Highly Superior Autobiographical Memory (HSAM). Yes, it’s a real thing where he remembers *everything*. Yes, it can be a pain.

John was not consciously aware of it, but he had a video camera in his head. All he knew was that he had an excellent memory. He had used to think that everyone did, but around starting secondary school he had realized he was different in more ways than one. If it happened to him, he could remember it. He could recall with perfect clarity almost every single day of his life. What he wore, what he ate that day, what he did. Recall verbatim what he said and what people said to him. Ask him about the local weather on Saturday, the 14th of August 1965, and he could tell you.

He tried to keep it quiet and for the most part succeeded. He didn’t brag about it, of course, and tried to stay silent even when someone was very wrong about what they were claiming and John knew it. It did actually came in handy at times, such as when his mum asked what they had served for tea or dinner when the family last came over, or what presents had been given at the holidays five years ago. And obviously his memory helped with school work. He figured it was a photographic memory, and just let it go. Whatever it was, it seemed to work.

The first time Queen was aware of it was when Freddie was fussing about what to wear for their next performance a few months after John had joined the band.

“Did I wear the black or the brown shirt last week?” Freddie screamed frantically. God forbid he wear the same outfit two weeks in a row.

“Black,” Brian said.

“Brown?” Roger guessed.

“Are you sure?” Freddie was going nuts.

John sighed and looked up from his bass. “You wore both,” he said calmly. “The black shirt at the start, and then changed into the brown shirt during the break. With the silver scarf and black boots.”

All three were looking at him, and John nervously looked back down at his guitar. “He’s right,” Freddie finally said. “I sort of remember now.” He beamed and hugged John. “Thank you, darling. You are in now in charge of my wardrobe.”

Bit by bit, the band began to realize just how much John could remember. Brian conducted a test on him, quizzing him about weather, and John was never wrong. Brian quickly determined that John could only remember things that he had done, said, saw or did.

“It has to be personal to you,” Brian mussed on a long drive. “Something that you saw, or heard, or did. Like how you can remember the Scrabble score of a game that you played, but not one that you didn’t play or see. It’s an…..autobiographical memory.”

“So Roger is not the only one who is self-centered,” Freddie teased. Roger easily flipped him the bird from the driver’s seat.

“It’s a pain,” John said shyly. “I keep worrying that my brain will get full, or something.”

“Even the most intelligent person only uses an estimated 10-20% of their brain,” Brian mussed. “Even as smart as you are, I don’t think it will get full.”

“You can borrow some of Roger’s brain,” Freddie offered. “He’s not using it.”

“Shut up, Freddie.”

The band quickly learned how to put John’s memory to good use (Brian ruling that John being responsible for remembering Freddie’s and Roger’s wardrobes was not a good use, but still, it happened). There was a reason John took charge of band finances as he never forgot a thing that was said or written. He made even the nastiest of record producers unnerved by reciting what they had worn and drank at every meeting and knew to the penny what was spent.

“I am so proud of you,” Freddie beamed after one meeting where John quietly, humbly, tore a manager to bits. “By the way, what did I wear to the club last week?”

“I wasn’t there, so I don’t know,” John said wearily. “I keep reminding you that you have to either take a picture and show me, or tell me, or write it down if you want me to remember that.”

“My baby computer,” Freddie cooed, pinching John’s cheeks.

“Stop that,” John muttered. “Or I won’t tell you what you wore at the last concert and let you wear the same thing over and over.”

“Shit, don’t scare me like that darling!”

Even Brian was guilty of using John at times. “John, did this restaurant have vegetarian options?”

“You had the garden salad and mushroom soup,” John said. He didn’t need to look at the menu. “I had the hamburger, Freddie had the fish and chips, and Roger the roast beef.”

“Did we like it?” Roger asked.

John sighed. “I guess?” he said. “No one complained.”

“Great! Order for us, would you? I’m going to have a smoke.”

Roger wanted to know totally random things, such as how many sugars had he put in his coffee six months ago, and how many dates he’d had two years ago at Easter. But he was good about seldom ‘abusing’ John’s memory – better than Freddie and Brian, actually. He just occasionally wanted to know odd stuff. John figured they were all entitled to have their brains work in different ways and if Roger really needed to know what he had for breakfast on the fifth of last month, John was willing to tell him if he knew.

John learned to balance things. He had to have things a certain way, a routine no matter how difficult it was on tour, and his brothers did all they could to help. Anyone who crossed John in any way was first politely torn apart verbally by the bassist and then kicked out by Roger and Freddie while Brian loomed. Some wondered why the other three deferred to the quiet bassist for so much, but Freddie, Brian and Roger never said a thing.

He was their secret weapon, and they protected what was theirs.

****************************************************************************

Chapter 10: Stepdad

Summary: From a prompt by LadyOfLoriens: Maybe you could write something about Freddie meeting Jim? A second dad for our baby John?

Note: In this universe, Freddie does not have AIDS.

“How do you feel about children?” Freddie asked Jim as they returned to Freddie’s home after their official second date. Freddie was ready to scream to the world that he loved this man.

The Irishman smiled. “I love them,” he admitted. “I didn’t know you had any. I would love to meet them.”

“Just one son, John,” Freddie beamed. “How about we all have dinner together Tuesday?”

Jim chuckled as he kissed Freddie. “Sure. How old is he?”

“He’s just a child,” Freddie sighed. “But thinks he’s a grown up. It’s so cute.”

***** *****

“Well, you are a little older than I expected,” Jim said cheerfully.

“Oh God.” John sighed. “How old did he tell you I was?”

Jim shrugged. “He didn’t really say,” he mussed thoughtfully. “For some reason, I was picturing a 10-year-old.”

“I’m adopted,” John said dryly, taking a long drink.

Freddie appeared like magic and took the glass from John’s hand. “Now, Deaky, I said you could have a glass of wine with dinner, not before.”

“Its not wine, it’s vodka,” John said.

The singer stiffened. “Who gave you this?” he demanded. “Phoebe?”

“I brought the bottle with me as a gift, Freddie. I purchased it from a store.”

“With a fake ID?” Freddie shrieked. “Where did you get that from?”

“Its not fake, I keep telling you.”

“John Richard Deacon Mercury----” Freddie began to rant.

John looked at Jim. “Ignore him, it’s easier that way.”

“Ignore what? Is someone selling to underaged kids?” Jim was starting to look pissed. “Did you get pressured into buying?”

John blinked, a shiver going down his spine. “Jim, look, here’s my drivers license. Look at the date of birth. Please.”

“So many fakes out there,” Jim shook his head. “No wonder Freddie worries about you so much. So many bad influences.”

“I play in the band! I have since I was 19, which I am *not* anymore! Look at the date, Hell, look at me! I’m not a kid!”

“Don’t listen to him, dear,” Freddie said to Jim. “He’s acting out. He’s at that age, I’m afraid. Questioning authority.”

“I understand,” Jim smiled at Freddie, hearts in his eyes. “I can see why you are so protective of him.

“Jesus, I should have known,” John grumbled to Phoebe when the other man wandered into the room in search of booze.

“I like him,” Phoebe said seriously. “He’s a good guy, and I can tell Freddie is absolutely mad about him. I think they will be good for each other.” Phoebe reached out and patted John’s shoulder. “And he’ll be a good stepdad to you,” he teased.

“Shut up,” John muttered.

Dinner went well, until Freddie threatened to send John to bed without dessert, which led to John pointing out that he didn’t live there. Then Jim politely and innocently asked just how long John had been living on his own, which made Freddie feel like a bad parent. He dragged both Jim and John upstairs to show them ‘John’s bedroom’, proving that John did have a bedroom. John said he had only slept there twice (both when he was hungover after a party) and Freddie then really felt like a horrible parent, and Jim was going to leave him because he couldn’t be trusted and he was a dreadful person and he started to cry.

John and Jim both apologized. John ended up spending the night to prove to Jim that Freddie hadn’t thrown him out on the streets when he turned 18 (which, no matter how hard John to tried to convince Jim, had not been just a few months ago – he was in the 30’s for God’s sake), and Freddie calmed down enough to be happy.

Jim started referring to John as his ‘son’, and John knew he was doomed.

*****************************************************************************

Chapter 11: Operation D-A-T-E

Summary: From a prompt by Rogerina_Taylor:John going on a date. Freddie goes full mama bear mode. Maybe Freddie spies on their date or Roger or Brian.

Freddie stood in the center of the living room, tapping his foot. Nervous energy radiated off him.

“Jesus, Freddie, calm down,” Roger said from the couch.

“Calm down? Calm down? My baby is going on a D-A-T-E and you are telling me to calm down?”

Brian took a sip of beer. “Maybe because your baby is 20 years old and its high time he got out?”

“Yeah, even you had a date by age 21, Bri. I remember,” Roger smirked, and Brian hit his arm.

“My precious baby John is not you Brian, and – Thank God – not you, either, Roger. John is….special.” Freddie was about ready to tear his hair out.

“We’ve been tutoring him for weeks,” Brian said, trying to be logical. “He knows all about stranger danger and has memorized more than even I can say about safety. I’m surprised he is even willing to leave the flat, given all the scary stuff you have warned him about.”

“Yeah, I was about ready to live under the bed after your lecture this afternoon,” Roger volunteered.

“Hush!” Freddie hissed. “He’s coming out.”

John emerged from the bedroom dressed and groomed. Freddie fussed over him for a few minutes, adjusting a collar here, a jacket sleeve there. John looked amazing. *sniff* His baby was growing up.

“Now remember, don’t accept any drinks from strangers. Keep your ID in a separate place from your money.” Freddie was patting down John, making sure his directions had been followed. “You have phone numbers memorized, I know, but repeat them again.”

John sighed. “The phone here is 555—“he began. He kept reciting the numbers for local police, taxis, neighbors, and Scotland Yard. Freddie nodded in approval and made sure John had proper change for all calls.

“And the plan?” Freddie got out a piece of paper that had been carefully drawn up. Seriously, the Magna Carta had had less time in its drafting. Freddie, Brian, and Roger had all gone over it.

“7:45, leave apartment,” John began to recite again. “7:50, get in taxi that Brian has called for, but only *after* confirming the license plate.” Brian gave John a thumbs up. “Approximately 8:10, arrive disco. Call apartment to confirm my arrival from the pay phone out front before entering disco. Call you again from pay phone inside the disco once I have entered said disco. 8:20 meet Veronica at the bar, left side by the beer taps. Call again to confirm I am with Veronica. 8:20 – 11:30, dance. Three hours. I can have 2 beers, total, as can Veronica. Rest of time, order water. Keep glass in possession at all times. Do not accept drink offers. 9:30, order bar snacks. 11:30, call you before we exit disco. Approximately 11:40, call you once I have put Veronica in a taxi home. Include license plate of taxi. Approximately 11:42, I call you with license plate of taxi I am taking home. Should arrive home no later than 12:10. Make taxi driver stop and call if running late.”

“Good, good,” Freddie approved. He went to the bedroom to get a last-minute scarf for John and the bassist looked over at Brian and Roger.

“12:30. Sneak out of apartment and go to Veronica’s to shag,” John muttered. Brian chocked on his beer and Roger beamed in approval.

Promptly at 7:45, John left, clutching a piece of paper with the taxi number on it. Freddie had wanted to walk him out to the curb, but finally decided it might a little much. Roger and Brian exchanged glances, knowing that *something* was going to happen.

At 8:00, Freddie jumped up. “Alright, boys, here is the plan. Brian, you stay here for the phone calls. Roger, you and I are going to disco.”

“For God’s sake Freddie,” Roger grumbled. “John is an adult---”

“You take that back!” Freddie gasped.

“And he can go on a date by himself. What do you honestly think is going to happen? They are going to the lamest disco in all of Europe – it opens at 7:00 and closes at midnight - and Veronica is a nice girl.”

“Roger, stop being a sexist pig. A woman can be just as frightening as any man; more so, in fact.”

“Are you saying Veronica is frightening and is going to assault John? Maybe kiss him?” Brian asked.

“Brian, I thank you to not use such foul language and say such scary horrible things concerning John. Roger, get your damn coat now. We are running behind.”

Fifteen minutes later, Freddie and Roger were in the shadows of the disco, spying on John and Veronica. Freddie may have frowned a bit at how *physical* some of the dancing was, but he certainly couldn’t cast stones. They called Brian every hour, confirming that John had called as directed and giving updates. Freddie grabbed a taxi at 11:30 so he could be home before John while Roger stayed behind on John and Veronica duty, memorizing taxi license plates and calling Brian to confirm.

John arrived home to find Freddie and Brian relaxing while watching an old movie. Roger came in a few minutes later, saying he had gone on a last-minute date that ended early. It fooled no one.

At 12:30 AM, Roger gave another thumbs up to John as he quietly left the apartment. Freddie was in bed, asleep with dreams of his son innocently playing with kittens and stuffed animals.

Notes:

End Notes: What do you think? Would you like more snippets in this little universe? **I take Prompts for this universe!** You can comment below or message me at Tumblr “MacandLacysPlace” with requests.

Rules: may be gen, m/f, or m/m, but never explicit. Fluff! Austic!John will factor in on occasion. NO AGE PLAY or Infantilism; just pure fun and silliness. Great thanks again to LetMeEntertainYou.

Upcoming stories: Grandparents Day :-) Will John ever be allowed to date? Or drink?? Or drive??? (Papa doesn't drive, so why should his son?)

2 notes · View notes

consulting-celiac-in-the-tardis · 6 years ago

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7+ Delicious Ways to Eat More Veggies with Every Meal

New blog post!

This post is generously sponsored by Spinato's.

When I was diagnosed with celiac disease, more changes happened to my diet than just going gluten free. Slowly but surely, my new dietary restrictions inspired me to experiment with more naturally gluten-free foods...which includes plenty of delicious vegetables. Before I knew it, I'd gone from a meat-and-potatoes kinda girl to a veggie addict! As a result, I can now honestly say that I enjoy eating vegetables and crave several servings of them every day. But I don't just eat raw broccoli and carrots! Instead, in the six years since my celiac diagnosis, I've found creative and yummy ways to incorporate more vegetables into my meals...and with help from Spinato's (home to some seriously ammmmazing certified gluten free broccoli crust pizza!), I'm sharing my top veggie hacks today! Because while I truly believe that everyone thrives on different foods and that "healthy eating" looks different for each person, I don't think most people can go wrong with adding a few more vegetables to their daily eats.

So whether you're looking for sneaky ways to up your kid's veggie intake this coming school season or you just want more creative ideas for delicious gluten free meals, keep reading to learn about 7+ easy and delicious ways you can eat more vegetables with every meal of the day!

Breakfast:

When I was in high school, some of my typical breakfasts were cinnamon raisin bagels slathered in peanut butter or a protein bar eaten in the car on the ride to school. And while those certainly aren't bad options, my breakfasts nowadays are a lot more veggie-heavy. But you might not even realize that upon first glance! Because here's the thing: I'm not a savory breakfast kinda gal. When I wake up, I want something sweet...but that doesn't have to keep me from getting in some veggies and greens. And if you follow me on Instagram, you can probably guess one of my favorite ways to eat more vegetables with breakfast: smoothie bowls!

Veggie Hack #1: Get Sneaky with Smoothie Bowls

In fact, one of the best things about smoothies is that, depending on the ingredients and ratios you use, you can pack them full with vegetables and just taste the sweetness of banana or whatever fruits you included as well. Some of my favorite vegetables to include in smoothie bowls are:

Zucchini and squash, steamed and frozen ahead of time to help with digestion. These are my go-to veggies to use if you want a tummy-friendly smoothie that is super thick and creamy but lower in sugar thanks to these additions. And I promise - you don't taste the zucchini or yellow squash at all, especially when paired with flavorful ingredients like berries or cacao powder.

Cauliflower, steamed and frozen. If your stomach can handle cauliflower in larger quantities, this is one Instagram trend you'll fall in love with.

Leafy greens, like spinach (which has a very mild flavor) or iceberg, kale, etc. if you don't mind tasting those greens more obviously.

Veggie Hack #2: Add Zucchini to Oats or Porridge

If you wake up craving a warm breakfast but still want something sweet and secretly full of veggies, zoats (also known as "zucchini oats") are another delicious option! I have made my zoats with zucchini and yellow squash, just grated and squeezed to remove the extra moisture. As I've shared in recipes like this one, you can also use alternative porridge grains like quinoa flakes, buckwheat flakes, or chia seeds if you can't tolerate gluten free oats. You can enjoy your zoats cold (and soaked overnight instead of being cooked) or warm, but if you're trying to hide the texture of zucchini, cooked is the better option. I often prep and soak my zoats the night before and then just warm them up in the microwave until everything is soft and gooey that morning!

Snacks

My snacks have also changed since I've started to enjoy eating more vegetables. While I still love my protein bars, I often end up having something homemade or fresh instead...and many of my favorite snacks - as you can guess from the topic of this post! - involve some raw or cooked vegetables.

Veggie Hack #5: Top Rice Cakes with Guac and Veggies

This tip is as simple as the name suggests. I know a lot of people enjoy rice cakes with peanut butter and jelly or other sweet toppings, but I'm also a big fan of putting on a layer of guac, avocado, hummus or pesto and adding some spinach, carrots, cucumbers or whatever other veggies I have on hand. If you love a crunchy snack, there's nothing better than this!

Veggie Hack #3: Dress Up Veggies with Homemade Dip

Now, I know I said that I didn't just eat raw broccoli and carrots (and these days, I rarely do at all!). However, when I do have a hankering for raw vegetables - especially during hot days when I don't want to turn on the oven to cook something - whipping up a quick homemade pesto or dip can make veggies a lot more of an interesting snack! Feel free to use whatever pesto recipe you enjoy, but my go-to lately has involved a mix of several handfuls of spinach, a few tablespoons of hemp seeds, a squeeze of lemon, heavy sprinkles of oregano and thyme, and enough chicken or vegetable stock (for extra flavor!) to get the pesto to mix in my mini blender.

If raw veggies aren't your thang, you can also roast some and keep them in the fridge for snacking and lunch and dinners (which we'll get to shortly!). One of my favorite pairings with pesto is roasted sweet potato rounds. Just cut a sweet potato up into small coins, place them on a lined baking tray (no oil required) and cook at 425 for 25-30 minutes or until caramelized and soft.

Veggie Hack #4: Replace Oil and Sugar with Veggies in Homemade Granola

If you've checked out my gluten free granola recipes before, you already know that I rarely ever bake mine with oil or refined sugars. Instead, I get all the clumps and sweetness from pureed fruits and grated zucchini and squash. I know it might sound a bit crazy at first, but you don't taste the vegetables at all and they help make the granola extra clustery and chewy. Plus, if you make granola with turmeric, yellow squash and banana, it'll be hard for anyone to notice the squash in the mix!

Lunch and Dinner

Now, the grand finale - how to add more vegetables into your lunches and dinners!

Veggie Hack #6: Cook and Freeze Certain Vegetables and Homemade Fries Ahead of Time

As I already mentioned in the snacks section, roasting vegetables ahead of time so that they're ready when you want to eat is a serious game-changer. I'd also encourage you to experiment with different spices (I'm partial to thyme and oregano) and methods of cooking (for example, baking at a super high temperature for a bit of burnt edges on your broccoli or covering your tray of veggies with tin foil so that they actually steam in the oven) to see what ways taste best to you.

Another trick I've learned over my six years of veggie-loving: certain vegetables can handle being frozen and reheated later on for an extra easy serving of vegetables. For example, I often cook an entire spaghetti squash and freeze one half so that I can take out the frozen spaghetti squash the night before, stick in the oven to reheat for a few minutes, and dive in extra quickly later on. And if you love fries but haven't ever made your own, now is the time! There are tons of easy recipes out there, and I've had success cooking big batches of fries, letting them cool, and then freezing them in sealed bags. When I want fries later, I just throw a handful of frozen fries in the oven on high for a few minutes, and wala! Quicker than fast food!

Veggie Hack #7: Take Advantage of Delicious, Secretly Veggie-Packed Alternatives to Your Favorite Foods

And now for one of my favorite vegetables hack lately. I already mentioned that this post is in partnership with Spinato's...and if you're trying to eat more vegetables this year, Spinato's certified gluten-free broccoli crust pizza is about to become your new BFF!

I knew I was in for a treat as soon as I got my first boxes of Spinato's; even without opening the box or cooking the pizzas, the scent of tomato sauce and spices got my mouth watering. Spinato's 10-inch broccoli crust pizza comes in four different flavors: Margherita; Aged Asiago, Romano & Mozzarella; Mediterranean Supreme; and Primavera. Besides being certified gluten free (something I LOVE seeing in foods I eat regularly!), Spinato's pizzas are free of MSG and trans fat, and packed with high-quality ingredients like hormone-free chicken sausage and vine-ripened tomatoes from local farms. One of the coolest parts? The Spinato family has been experimenting with pizza recipes and unique topping combos since 1974, so these pizzas are part of a delicious family legacy. As for my personal experience with these pizzas...first off, I loved how quickly you can cook them! Depending on what appliance you use, you can have your frozen pizza hot and ready in just 8 minutes. My pizza only took around 14 minutes in my oven, which makes Spinato's the perfect secret weapon to keep in my freezer for crazy busy school days this coming semester. And I definitely want to try grilling these pizzas one day, as the box suggests!

And now we get to the most important part: the taste. For the particular dinner in these photographs, I went with Spinato's Primavera pizza, which features zucchini, red onion, mushroom and red pepper. I added a lil' bit of greens and avocado (since those are my go-to pizza toppings!), and enjoyed evvery bite. I loved that the sauce, cheese and toppings were evenly dispersed throughout the whole pizza, and that the soft crust was balanced out by crunchy and chewy vegetables. I also enjoyed that the crust looked "normal" despite its broccoli base. If you served this to me without the box, I wouldn't have guessed the crust is packed with vegetables! My cooked pizza crust did come out of the oven feeling pretty soft and some of the pizza slices were messy to hold - especially since Spinato's pizza crust is pretty thin (just how I, personally, like it). However, once the pizza cooled some, the crust got a lot sturdier and had deliciously crunchy edges with a soft, chewy middle. And at the end of the day, I don't mind a bit of a messy dinner as long as it tastes finger-lickin' good...and Spinato's pizza definitely does.

If you want to try out Spinato's for yourself, Spinato's frozen broccoli crust pizzas are now available in over 1,500 stores all over the US. For help finding Spinato's broccoli crust pizza in your area, check out Spinato's handy dandy product locator here! Before I was diagnosed with celiac disease, I would've never imagined waking up and looking forward to eating zucchini and green beans and all sorts of other delicious veggies. But the more I've experimented with new, delicious ways to enjoy vegetables, the more I've craved them...and I hope the same can be said of anyone who tries any of the vegetable hacks I've shared in this blog post! And if you need a tasty and easy place to start eating more vegetables ASAP...as I mentioned earlier, Spinato's certified gluten free broccoli crust pizza can be ready in 15 minutes or less. ;) *I received free samples and monetary compensation in exchange for spreading the word about Spinato's broccoli crust pizza. However, I only partner with brands and products that I personally belive in, and all photographs, opinions and thoughts are my own. Thank you for supporting what supports Casey the College Celiac!* Which flavor of Spinato's pizza would you want to try first? Margherita; Aged Asiago, Romano & Mozzarella; Mediterranean Supreme; or Primavera? Tell me in the comments!

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pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles · 6 years ago

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One Kiss (Girls Talk Boys part 5)

Possibilities I look like all you need

Each chapter has a song title attached so I could keep my files straight on my phone but it ended up really working so I kept it. I have 11 chapters actually written so far but they need revising so I'll be posting every couple of days or so if anyone was curious

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use and cursing. Usual stuff.

Previous Chapter

She says she's not ready to leave yet. Still trying to find herself. Keeps asking me to buy prosecco. Camille smiled at the message and the picture of her shiny pink pen resting on what she assumed was Calum's couch. Kicking off her blankets, sleep forgotten for the moment, she knew two could play this game. Camille snuck downstairs ignoring the obvious sex noises coming from Cher’s bedroom. Grabbing an empty beer bottle and Calum's Zippo she set the scene on the kitchen counter before snapping a pic.

Drank four Bud Lights before passing out. Won't stop calling me bro and asking if “they're real.” Tells dad jokes. Camille grinned as she hit send.

I still don't understand how you got my lighter. watch out he'll try to feel you up when he's buzzed Calum was quick to text back

I get to have my secrets. She's a messy queen when she's wine drunk. You've been warned. After hitting send Camille gave in to the butterflies and the way anything and everything Calum did gave her fanny flutter. She opened the drawer on her nightstand and an incognito tab on her phone.

Camille woke up to her phone chiming. She had to laugh when she opened the message. There was Calum, shirtless, still in bed, hair a mess, and eyes and lips still puffy with sleep looking wide eyed and panicked for the camera. Captioned (It's not what it looks like) Camille could see her pen lying on the bed next to Calum. Camille took his lighter off her nightstand placing it on her shoulder nestled in her hair she closed her eyes and feigned sleep and took the picture.

It IS what it looks like bro.

It went on like this for days. Calum sent her snaps from the studio, his home, his favorite coffee shop, his walks with his dog Duke under the pretense of holding her pen hostage. Camille reciprocated taking his lighter with her to dance practice with Tom, on her trips to the market, to the shelter where she volunteered. She even placed it somewhere in frame on her IG and Snapchat mock draft videos. Calum had noticed and teased her for going Hollywood. Camille was surprised by how goofy and silly he really was. He came off so stern and serious when they'd meet. Now here he is cracking up at her jokes, pulling silly faces to make her smile and all the time with the compliments. Camille didn't believe them all but she couldn't lie hearing Calum say she was cute, funny or smart made her entire day. She couldn't tell if it was friendship or flirting, but regardless it was a distraction. She reminded herself yet again, a tan gorgeous muscular cheeky distraction.Who has a girlfriend, and you've known less than one month.

Right now Camille needed to focus on being her damn job and not a sexy Australian. She had her first appearance on ESPN today and this game with Calum had messed with her concentration all week. Carefully arranging her hair into a French twist and priming her face for the studio makeup she put on her best charcoal grey A line dress and matching heels and headed for the door. Just before she reached her car she saw Calum walking Duke talking to Harry out for his morning run. She waved and the guys waved back. Harry shot her an appraising smile and a thumbs up. When she got to the studio she checked her phone before silencing it. There was a picture of Calum holding his dog under one arm and her pen against his cheek with a big cheesy grin.

Knock em dead today. You look great. We believe in you.

Camille shut her phone giggling. She then ran face first into a wall. At least it felt like a wall but really it was just a massive mountain of a man. Camille felt an arm encircle her waist keeping her from falling. Looking up she was met with golden eyes, rippling muscles, tattoos everywhere and a huge smile. She just blinked taking in the second best looking man she'd ever met and certainly the biggest. “Oh my gosh are you ok I'm so sorry” he was apologizing as Camille started to recognize who he was. #87 All Pro Wide Receiver for the LA Rams “Hi I'm Quentin Diaz-Castillo” he introduced himself. Holding out his hand to shake hers. “Yes you are” Camille let the words escape before her brain could move. Her hand felt like a child’s compared to his. Catching herself she shook her head “What I meant to say there was thank you, I'm fine. I'm Camille and it's a pleasure to meet you. You've helped me win my fantasy league twice.” Quentin chuckled “That's cool, a girl being into football.”

By now they had gotten through security to the actual studio and Camille could see her boss chatting with the host of Fantasy Squad. “So Quentin, how's that wrist feeling after surgery” she leaned into him forcing him to crouch to hear her “would you say you'll be back to full strength by the season opener or should we draft Pickens as a handcuff in deeper leagues?” Camille asked with her most wide eyed innocent little girl voice and the devil in her eyes. Quentin stared at her processing her words. Her boss and owner of profantasysports finally spotted them and hurried over. Stephen tossed her a jersey “New season, new merch Cam. Sorry but it just came in.” Camille pulled the jersey over her head avoiding her hair. Looking at Stephen she asked “cap or no cap? Glasses or no? Are we selling smart or cute?” “Both” Stephen replied “no cap, wear your other glasses, and I like your hair up but can you make it, bigger?” The studio stylist nodded and started to lead Cam away. She stopped and placed a hand on Quentin’s arm “you never answered my question.” He answered in a loud stage whisper teasing her “I can't tell you my secrets in front of everyone.” “Fine” she let out a dramatic sigh “I guess you can tell me over dinner.” “I don't have your number” Quentin answered as the stylist pulled Cam away to get her ready for the camera “He does” Cam pointed at Stephen who promptly whipped out his phone.

Cher invited Luke and Tom over so they could watch Camille’s big debut. Calum and Ashton came along with Luke. The theme music for NFL Fantasy Live started and Cher made everyone hush. Cher cheered out loud when her friend appeared on screen. She was split screen with two guys who kept trying to talk over her but Cam was having none of it. It was verbal jujitsu watching her take down both so called experts. She hit all of her talking points, corrected one guy’s stats, name dropped PFS and looked great in the new merch. Cher made everyone in the room high five her when the show ended.

Cam stepped off stage and found Stephen waiting for her. “You were fantastic” her boss looked pleased “I have no doubt they're gonna ask you back.” Internally she was jumping up and down and screaming, on the outside she was still pretty giddy. “That would be amazing” Cam stopped and glanced around hopefully. Stephen noticed “Sorry, he had to leave, he seemed to like you though.” “Did he want my number?” Camille tried and completely failed not to sound too eager. “I gave it to him but don't hold your breath” her boss warned “He has a serious reputation.” Camille turned her phone back on walking to her car. Her phone started buzzing like an electric beehive. She scrolled smiling at messages from her friends and family till she saw Calum's number.

Am I supposed to be impressed? Because I'm impressed.

Her chest fluttered but then an unknown number popped up.

If you're hungry I'm free right now. Look up.

Camille raised her head and there was Quentin lounging against an expensive looking Rover.

“Let's get lunch. I'm starving” Quentin called out. Camille snapped a quick pic and sent it to Cher. Going to lunch with this guy. Don't wait up.

Camille was both thrilled and terrified. The little bistro he'd taken her to was simple yet elegant. They were tucked away on a little patio to give them a little privacy and Quentin some room. Restaurant chairs just weren't designed with 6’4, 220 lb NFL players in mind. It wasn't just that he was an enormous human being Quentin was even better looking up close. He had an easy smile and his eyes went from chocolate to amber with his moods. Quentin had a great sense of humor and was a natural entertainer. He kept Camille laughing with story after story about football while also being genuinely interested about her life and interests. They were both into football of course. It turns out Quinton was as obsessed with 90’s music as Cam was. They both loved Game of Thrones, Beyonce and boy bands. Her head was spinning and Camille wasn't sure if it was Quentin or the wine.

The food was excellent. Brined and roasted duck with truffle mac and cheese and fresh snap peas. “I'm glad to see you're a girl who appreciates food” Quentin commented. Camille felt herself blush, she'd always been self conscious about her weight. “What do you mean?” She replied trying not to sound defensive dropping her eyes to her lap. Quentin immediately grabbed her hand across the table. “Nothing is worse than going on a date with a cute girl who won't eat or talk” he winked at her. Now she was blushing as she smiled at him “I've never been afraid of either. In fact not being able to shut up got me here today.”

“I saw your segment. Those jerks kept trying to talk over you” Quentin leaned back motioning for the server “ doesn't that bother you?”

“Of course it does, but I've been playing fantasy for ten years, professionally for three. Before that I worked in restaurants. I'm small, female and pink. Nobody ever takes me seriously, at first” with that Camille’s sour expression switched to a sly grin. Quentin faked a horrified expression “I'd hate to get on your bad side” “They don't call me the Angry Chihuahua for nothing” Camille finished her wine. Quentin cracked up right as dessert arrived.

The restaurant was known for its “tea”rimisu. Consisting of rolls of spongy floof cake drizzled in the house crafted green tea liqueur, layered with whipped marscapone, more delicious floof cake, topped with a dulce de leche sauce and fresh whipped cream. Camille took her first bite and gazed across the table at Quentin. Their eyes met as the sweetness hit her tongue. Camille felt her heart flutter and knew she'd fallen in love. This cake was that fucking good. She closed her eyes not wanting to let anything ruin the moment. “You should see the look on your face” Quinton teased her. “Now I know your secret to being such a ladies man. Seduction by cake.” Camille teased back.

It was almost 9 pm by the time Camille got home. After dinner she'd wanted to leave a thank you note for the pastry chef. This turned into a quick visit to meet the kitchen staff and Quentin posing for a few photos. Quentin had volunteered to drive her home, but Camille didn't want the hassle of picking up her car the next day. She'd only had one glass of wine with a full meal. She came home to just Cher and a surprisingly tidy house. “Oh you're home, and alone” Cher came out of the kitchen. “Good Lord I just met him this morning I'm not going to drag him to bed that quickly” Camille had to laugh. “Well I ran the boys off just in case” Cher responded “some of them were very eager to meet your date. Cody is dying to hear from you and tell you about him and Nick. Tom says Quentin is one of his favorite players. Calum didn't look all that thrilled though. I wonder why. Probably doesn't want you replacing him as your boyfriend.” “I don't have a boyfriend” Camille snorted. “Not yet” Cher shot back lighting a joint and handing it over.

Next Chapter Jealous

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benjamingarden · 5 years ago

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Weekending

Happy Sunday friends! So, we are told that spring will arrive early this year - who's with me on the excitement for that??? Part of my excitement is the warmer temps but a BIG part of my excitement is getting started building my new gardening area. I've got plans people, and I know it will be a struggle to get my better half to help with some of it but I'm determined to do just that. After my win on the cattle panel trellis last year I'm feeling confident in my persuasion abilities. I'll share more about garden plans in the next month or so.

We received a winter storm Thursday and Friday. It started with snow, then switched to sleet and rain, then back to snow. The snowfall at the end, on Friday, was stunning. It was wet and heavy and stuck to the trees so beautifully. The temps quickly dropped below freezing so the trees remained adorned with their white coating. I walked out of the house Saturday morning to let Oliver out and spent a couple of (very cold) minutes just reveling in the beauty of it all.

Saturday is food prep day so an hour or so was devoted to that. I try to get my salad ingredients and anything else that makes sense to do, prepped on Saturdays. I also prep all of our Sunday meals since we have the farmer's market that day. I roasted some sweet potatoes, mushrooms, and beets for a delicious addition to this week's salads. As I was prepping the beets my husband walked through and his eyes lit up. He asked what the beets were for and I said for my salad. He looked at me, then the beets, then me and said "well, I like beets". I laughed. I said I would put some aside for him to eat without salad, which made him quite happy. I don't serve beets as much as I should because they are a pain - red getting all over everything. I like to bake them and then slip the skins off and cut them up. It's a bit messy but not too terribly bad. I never was a fan of beets but I've incorporated them into my life because they are so good nutritionally. I still don't love or crave them, but I don't mind them anymore.

I also prepped all our products on Saturday, cleaned and packed eggs, did a light cleaning in the house, worked on taxes (yuck!), and listened to the first day of a (free) health/weight loss summit I signed up for. I signed up specifically for 3 speakers which includes one who claims to have a way to break the craving for sugar (seminar is on Wednesday). I've pretty much broken my craving but sugar is a serious pull for me so any additional tips and tricks I learn would be great! (not an affiliate link and a heads up that it is plant-based focused - just sharing if you are interested)

Reading - Breasts: The Owner's Manual, by Dr. Kristi Funk (affiliate link). So I've had this book for about a year I think. I picked it up at a flea market. I've never read it until this week when I devoured it over the course of 2 days. Why? Because it scared the heck out of me. In a good way. (if there is a good way?) Here's the thing - I knew the risk for breast cancer increases with age and I knew that I have a couple additional factors making my risk a bit higher, but I did not know the specifics, and reading it made it very real. VERY real. For instance, did you know that if you are between the ages of 50 and 59 your chances of breast cancer are 1 in 43?? If you're in your sixties, your chances are 1 in 29. And that's just the risk due to age, it's before additional potential risk factors are factored in. Ugh... It was actually the perfect timing for me to read it because I was struggling just a bit with my fairly new plant-based lifestyle. Every once in a while I go through just wanting to be able to eat "normal" - meaning, I'd like to just go out to dinner and not have to worry about whether or not a restaurant is going to have something I can eat. Anywhoo, reading this is keeping me on course with my new "normal" because Dr. Funk gives the following details as part of her book: eating a plant-based whole food diet + regular exercise + maintaining a healthy weight = reduces your risk by 80% (for women 50 and older, which is a group I'm newly part of). Plant-based eating aside, I highly recommend this book for all women of any age to read. It's very well written and full of information on breast health and details her recommendations for lifestyle changes (including info on what to add to your daily diet, plastics, cosmetics, deodorant, radiation, myths, risk factors, stress, etc.), the why's behind it all. She also includes quite a bit of information for anyone diagnosed with breast cancer.

Learning - about my own personality. So I decided, on a whim of course, to take the (free) Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test here. I really didn't think much about it as I clicked through the test. Until I read the results...… huh, I thought. Honestly, I'd never thought of myself as an advocate but that is indeed who I am. After reading the turbulent versus assertive I am definitely turbulent, definitely an introvert and the information under diplomat and constant improvement are fairly spot on as well. Interestingly, good or bad, for the most part it was me in a nutshell. Who would of thought? It was very funny reading that friends and colleagues often believe this personality type is a quiet extrovert, not understanding that instead it's a true introvert. I've tried to explain this to others who just didn't believe me. Have you taken this test? I would love to hear your thoughts.

Cooking - we've been loving taquitos in the air fryer for lunches. For mine, I take some refried beans and chopped canned chilies, roll a bit up in a corn tortilla, and throw them in for 6 minutes. For Jay's I use pre-cooked ground beef, cheese, and canned green chilies. Crispy, chewy, and delicious! I make a guacamole dip and a side salad to go with it. I could honestly eat this everyday but the man says he needs variety so I've been making it only a few days a week. Saturday was one of those days. For dinner on Saturday it was one of Jay's favorites - seared scallops, gnocchi with sage butter, and steamed broccoli, and a big old delicious raw salad with balsamic dressing for me. Sunday's are usually oatmeal for me for breakfast, and an egg sandwich and air fryer hash browns for Jay. For lunch I brought veggies with hummus dip and avocado toast. Jay gets a burger at the farmer's market. I bring fruit and (healthier) cookie dough balls for a snack. The cookie dough balls I make up as a large batch and store in the freezer so they are easy to grab and go Sunday mornings. Dinner for Jay tonight is slow-cooker Mississippi pot roast with potatoes and beets, and a big salad with veggies, beans, seeds, & quinoa for me.

Oliver is sleeping on the couch (and hogging all the blankets) while I write this post

Planning - a few outings to local museums or other attractions. We've talked about going and have only been to a handful. We typically only think about visiting local sites in the summer, when we get too busy, so I'm trying to get the husband to go visit a few before winter is over. If I have to, I'll entice him with lunch at his favorite local restaurant (that also offers vegan options for me - hooray!!)...... A girls gotta have a few tricks in her back pocket, you know? Link Love: Take Back Your Online Privacy (prjvs) - an interesting read. Online privacy, or all privacy for that matter, no longer exists it seems. Most Of Your Stuff Is Worthless: 3 Things You Should Be Doing NOW To Reduce What You Own (dallas moms collective) - this is so spot on. After going through my MIL's home when she passed it was a relief that my mom had pared her stuff down to what she really loved. The False Promise Of Morning Routines (atlantic) - I, personally, feel better having a morning routine, but I get that it isn't for everyone. 3 Kids. 2 Paychecks. No Home. (California sunday magazine) - eye opening. Say What You Mean To Say (modern mrs darcy) - because we don't get do-overs in life, a lesson to learn. p.s. while you're there, if you're a reader, check out some of her book recommendations. How was your weekend? Did you read or do anything interesting?

Weekending was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

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arplis · 5 years ago

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fearofaherobrine · 8 years ago

Text

Roleplay Server Log #166

Okay, this one is too important to mince words, if you read the fic this blog is based on- http://archiveofourown.org/works/4193259 Then this is a must read because it gives closure for TLOT and Steve on the seed they fled from, and you get to see Jeb get his for toying with them and their NOTCH also get what he deserves.

[Sam] Looks up eagerly from wiping the bar.

[alexine and Stevenson] -see the skeleton Enderman and steffan and they bot take out a shield and try to protect steffan not understanding he is in no danger-

[Enderbro] Notices them and waves his skinny arms exciedly -STEEEEVE Look! Other Steve!

[Steffan] Turns expecting Father Steve and makes a suprised face.

[Stevenson] there are mobs here are you ok?

[Steffan] Uh... yeah. You're new here aren't you? Bro here is my roommate. And Sam's the bartender.

[Enderbro] Reaches all the way over the bar with his long arms and gets a pair of already bunned hotdogs out before sticking them in the newcomers mouths like cigars - Wheee! Welcome!

[Steffan] Bro....

[Sam] Is making no noise but obviously laughing

[alexine] -drops her shield and is very confused and spits out the hotdog-

[Stevenson] -takes the hotdog out of his mouth- so I am assuming you have a mod to make mobs friendly.

[Enderbro] Awww.... You don't like it? We might have some ketchup...

[alexine] and a food mod

[Steffan] No. Bro is just... Bro. He's always like this. Just a big kid at heart.

[Stevenson] but mobs aren't friendly why is he.

[GK] Pokes his horned head in the door behind them. - Because Sam likes making drinks.

[alexine] -has the most confused face showing-

[Steffan] Shrugs- Bro doesn't care if you look at him either. He thinks the other Enders have zero chill.

[Enderbro] Makes a face. - Endrea's Endermen are way to serious! No fun at all

[Stevenson] why does this server react so weird without mods

[Gk] Because we're from all different seeds? - He pushes a bit more of his head and neck in before transforming into his human shape and pushing past them

[alexine] HOW THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT!

[Gk] Slaps Steffan a little too hard on the back. - Me and this asshole here. I was cursed to wear his shape instead of my normal form, a punishment dreamed up by my dick of a brother. But this guy - shakes Steffan a bit more- this guy broke my curse. After a thousand fucking years at least. So now I can be myself, but being human shaped is easier for drinking.

[Steffan] Sighs- Thanks Gk...

[Enderbro] OTHER OTHER STEVE SO MANY STEEEVES

[Stevenson] I am so confused

[Steffan] Leans on his elbow - you get used to it. Did Doc let you in or was it Deerheart?

[alexine] the brine.

[Gk] Does a fist bump with Sam and the skeleton serves him a drink with a cherry and a color gradient like a sunrise.

[Steffan] Human form or no?

[alexine] what do you mean by no human form I thought they only where the shape similar to a human

[Steffan] Oh you're in for a suprise then... not sure if I should spoil it....

[Gk] Toasts Sam- The resident Doctor is a bit off hir rocker when it comes to modifying things- Takes a long swig- Thank the gods for it really. But they built themselves a new body from raw bits and they flip to it when things get... hairy.

[Steffan] Or the more unruly brines misbehave...

[Gk] Shut up

[alexine] WHAT KIND OF CRAZY SERVER IS THIS!

[Steffan] Suprisingly, a really safe one. Doc has everyone hooked to respawn with the local difficulty set on easy. And if you do manage to fuck up and die you come back with all your stuff still intact in your inventory.

[Gk] Passed Enderbro a harmonica - Present for you.

[Steffan] Whhhhhhhyyyyyyy?

[Gk] Because I'm still the Griefer King.

[Enderbro] Happy random notes at an annoying pitch-

[Stevenson] me and alexine are the only two who had a respawn on our server

[Steffan] That's kinda selfish isn't it?

[Gk] sarcastic - Woo hardcore johnnies

[Stevenson] the server was to give real humans one chance to live in Minecraft for as long as they can survive but they depending on their world they had when they died they could be in a real hardcore world a peaceful they could even be in creative it was all up to what they had even mods where common place there.

[Steffan] Ah... well, we do have some, like, irl humans here too.

[GK] TLOT's little gay village is full of frigging human kids.

[Steffan] Do you guys want some food or drink? Sam can make pretty much anything.

[alexine] -freaks out slightly and pulls out a bow that looks like it is made of diamonds it's clearly a moded bow-

[Gk] Whoah lady... chill your nips. What's wrong now?

[Steffan] Woooow..... look at those diamonds...

[alexine] the server is crazy your crazy this whole place if crawling with brines and things that shouldn't work -she pulls back the bow and three arrows are on the string-

[Sam] Dives under the counter.

[Steffan] Jumps up on the table and blocks Enderbro who's still playing happily.

[Gk] Barely looks up from his drink. - I can still throw fire in this form. Don't make me burn my favorite bar roasting your ass...

[Stevenson] -rips the bow out of alexine's hands so steffan doesn't get hit-

[Gk] Takes a sip - Thats better. Now sit your asses down and take a few breaths.

[Steffan] Still looks wary.

[alexine] -screeches and tries to get her bow back but is it's being kept out of her grasp-

[Stevenson] all the oddity in this server have made alexine scared she is more likely to attack then she is but when she is scared was more likely to have been during a large battle with hostile mobs from mods-

[Gk] Oh for fuck sake... I can't do this touchy feely shit. - he types into the chat - Hey TLOT! Come to the fucking bar.

[TLOT] Tps to Gk's location and clips into him for a few seconds.

[Gk] Fucker...

[TLOT] What's wrong?

[Gk] Are you blind? She's hysterical. Slap her or something.

[alexine] -reaches into Stevenson's innovatory and pulls out a mod sword which is three times bigger then her-

[TLOT] Is disoriented for a moment but streches out a hand and buries Alexine in invisible Netherweights.

[Gk] That is a big fucking sword....

[alexine] -falls to the ground she is only freaking out more because she doesn't understand why she can't move-

[TLOT] Sees what's wrong. He starts whispering calming thoughts into her mind. - You're safe, relax. I won't hurt you.

[Stevenson] that's my prince sword -take the sword and puts in back in his innovatory-

[Gk] Prince huh? Ya aint compensating for something else are ya?

[alexine] -is still confused but is slowly calming down-

[TLOT] So what did I miss? I saw some new people come in but I had... my hands full...

[Gk] Full? Yeah, each hand full of one of Steve's asscheeks...

[Stevenson] no it's from a mod you get it after beating the king dragon it help tame the prince dragon

[Gk] You killed a dragon....- Lets out a little growl.

[Stevenson] they are a destructive mob from the crazy craft mod you have to summon then to even fight them and the prince dragon is worth getting if you do try and get them but If you summon then let them run free they will destroy everything to bedrock

[TLOT] Puts his free hand on Gk's shoulder- You know it's a common thing for players to do.

[GK] Makes a sour face. - Still... How would you like being brought into existence just to be destroyed?

[Stevenson] I mainly did it because I wanted the prince dragon to take care of unfortunately I lost them when the server started to fall apart.

[Gk] bitterly- Probably just left em behind to die.... fuck...

[Steffan] Whispers - We have baby dragon's here. Don't lay a finger on them if you value your skins.

[alexine] -finally back to her senses- no he nearly got himself killed trying to save them I ended up pulling away from dieing.

[TLOT] Can I let go now? My hand is cramping.

[Stevenson] yep

[TLOT] releases the weight with an airy wave. He gives them a saucy wink simply because he's pleased with himself.

[alexine] -gets up and walks over to sit on the floor by the pool table-

[TLOT] watches her walk by him curiously. - Nice outfit. I'm Herobrine the Lord of Tears. Or TLOT around here. So what do I call you guys?

[alexine] I am alexine and that's Stevenson.

[TLOT] Charmed.

[Gk] Grumbles-

[Stevenson] -to gk- you act like I didn't care for the prince dragon when in reality I spoiled them an made sure no harm ever came to them unlike the players who would use the prince dragon for a weapon.

[Gk] Even a spoiled pet is still a pet.

[TLOT] Sighs- You know they're not all as intelligent as you are Gk.

[Gk] bitterly - Everyone seems stupid when you can't speak their language.

[Stevenson] I treated them more like my child because the prince dragon is a toddler I wanted to raise them like a father prince dragons are smart by mod but only to some point they are one hundred percent smarter then the king and queen dragon

[Gk] But it's gone now anyway huh? fuck it... Hardly anybody here has a home they could go back too. Brines can't go home again...

[TLOT] Don't be so sour Gk.

[Gk] Bite me.

[alexine] he is going to complain how he failed as a father to the prince dragon and couldn't protect them for a very long time most likely for years

[TLOT] Don't have any experience parenting myself, just babysitting for friends; but I've seen how attached people can get.

[Stevenson] things from crazy craft where hard to get and a prince dragon was harder people who had that mod didn't live very long because of dangerous of a mod it was

[TLOT] Oh trust me, I've been in some precarious situations. This seed is practically a retirement village for me. I finally have a safe place to lay my head, and I don't have to worry about my Steve or Alexsezia, or my villagers being threatened or killed.

[Stevenson] it was more like as soon as they died that part of the world would be replaced with normal Minecraft because as people spawned what they explored from their server they still had when they died got put down and when they died in the server it stopped being their world

[Steffan] That sounds really chaotic.

[Enderbro] Leans over the booth backwards to look at Alexine - Hello pretty lady.

[alexine] - is refusing to look at enderbro-

[Enderbro] Waves and wiggles his arms- Laaaady

[stevenson] it could be there where a lot of different mods that could make it more more or less chaotic but there also was times where people just had worlds without mods

[alexine] yes?

[Steffan] I've been in the multiverse. I prefer private servers.

[Enderbro] Hi.

[alexine] hello.

[Enderbro] Pulls out some small flowers and holds them out to her. The air is suddenly full of heady scents.

[Stevenson] the part me and alexine lived in was originally modless till we started to take parts from mods and it became a mix of mods

[alexine] uh... thanks -takes the flowers-

[TLOT] ah, we've done a lot of adding things, but it's mostly been bringing bits in from other games.

[Stevenson] but not mods.

[TLOT] No, we've visited modded or reskined seeds and filched a few blocks and items, but never altered this one. Doc doesn't even like to update the snapshot. They're afraid of destabilizing or glitching the server.

[alexine] -puts the flowers away to stop the smell- that sounds dangerous

[TLOT] The visiting or the updating?

[alexine] the possibility for the server destabilizing

[TLOT] You can get chunk errors when you update, it's really obnoxious to come home and find part of your house has reverted to natural seed conditions. One time it snowed us all in for a day or two.

[alexine] yep sounds dangerous

[TLOT] It's okay, it's rare, and we have two aces in the hole if things go wrong. One is a spirit of magick and the other is the embodiment of the server itself.

[Stevenson] so the server is safe because of these things

[TLOT] chuckles - The server is safe because Doc is paranoid. The server is well maintained because they have excellent help doing so. Besides, some brines like to scrap and we don't want them accidently glitching things.

[Stevenson] -notices he is low on hunger- actually I think I will take you up on that offer of food

[Sam] Sidles up with a big smile.

[TLOT] Ask them for something, Sam is a great cook.

[Stevenson] I don't know what I want.

[Sam] Taps hir chin for a moment with one bony finger and slips back into the kitchen.

[TLOT] Just give em a minute.

[Gk] Is peeking around the corner to spy on Sam and gets hit in the face with a dishcloth- HEY!

[Stevenson] -give gk an odd look-

[Sam] Comes out with a tray the size of a block containing a huge ring sandwich that's a medly of colorful veggies and meat slices. They pull a big pitcher of tea and some glasses out of their inventory to go with it, as well as a bowl of thick yellow paste.

[TLOT] Sniffs the bowl -So you did like my suggestion.

[Sam] Pffft.

[Stevenson] that looks good.

[Steffan] Looks like plenty for everybody. Nice work Sam.

[TLOT] Gets a chunk of sandwich and some tea for Alexine since she's sitting on the floor- here you go, sorry for squishing you earlier

[Gk] spins his stool just long enough to grab a piece as well.

[alexine] thank you and it's ok -takes the food from tlot and starts eating-

[TLOT] Coyly puts some of the paste on his sandwich and makes happy noises as he eats.

[Stevenson] -takes a chunk and some tea and starts eating- this is very good

[TLOT] Types in the chat - Steve? Are you still watching Yaunfen?

[Steve] Chat back- No, Doc retrived them.

[TLOT] Gonna tp you, you're missing good food

[Steve] Appears next to TLOT with a slight buzz of clipping. And a sandwich is put in his hand as he reorients himself. - Thank you love.

[alexine] how many steves are there?

[Steve] People come and go, but the regulars are me, Steffan here and little Stevie.

[Stevenson] stevie?

[TLOT] He's the little brother of our creepypasta Herobrine.

[Stevenson] it sounds like they are a lot of brines here. -finishes his piece and goes for another-

[Deer] Is keeping her distance and making sure the bar doesn't explode-

[TLOT] And dragons, and children, and little colony of peaceful NOTCHs.

[alexine] I hope the children are safe

[TLOT] Oh yes, the Testificates take very good care of them. Poor things.

-There's a bit of fumbling with the doorknob before Stevie manages to push it open-

[Enderbro] TEENY STEVE.

[Stevenson] -jumps a little before looking at stevie-

[TLOT] Stevie? Please tell me you aren't hiding from Notch, you know what happened last time.

[Stevie] - Uh-uh, I'm wanna surprise father!

[TLOT] Well that's sweet.

[Steve] Hey Stevie! Meet our newest Steve. - Gestures. -And a new Alex too!

[Stevie] - Hi! I'm Stevie!

[TLOT] Perfect cinnamon roll....

[Stevenson] hello i'm Stevenson it's a pleasure to meet you stevie.

[Stevie] - I'm getting food for father

[alexine] i'm alexine nice to meet you.

[Sam] Leans over with a grin to see what Stevie wants.

[Stevie] - Um, uh, I want... Um...- He did not think this through

[Sam] pokes him lightly on the nose spot and flounces away.

[TLOT] Random is always suprising....

[Sam] Brings back a huge bowl of spagetti and pushes it at Stevie so it vanishes into his inventory.

[TLOT] Pasta... Sam... - trying not to laugh-

[Steve] Sits down next to Alexine - Cute kid huh?

[alexine] yea he is

[Stevie] - Thank you! I'm gonna go give it to father! And miss Lie! Because she's talking with him right now

[TLOT] Okay, you be careful Stevie. Go straight home.

[Stevie] - I will... What's a birthday?

[Steffan] The anniversary of the day you were spawned.

[Stevie] - Oh, okay because they're talking about going someplace for one... Bye!- He heads out the door

[TLOT] Maybe it's Markus's birthday?

[Doc] Arrives at Lies house and knocks lightly on her door

[Lie] Is a bit surprised and goes over to open the door- Oh! Doc! Hello, what brings you by?

[Doc] Something scientific actually... I need a horse, maybe more then one

[Lie] - Why?

[Doc] Splender's dragon hatched...

[Lie] - Awww! He had the rainbow egg, right?

[Doc] yessssss, it is cute. There's just one problem, it's deadly venomous and bitey as hell. I need to learn how to make antivenom with a quickness

[Lie] - Do you want me to try and make a flower?

[Doc] I guess? I think it will need to be quick acting though, this is way beyond lethal. Maybe something with fruit that can be squeezed out on a bite or drunk?

[Notch] is thinking quietly and pipes up, - uh Doc, do you have the seed number for where TLOT and Steve came from?

[Doc] Sure, but it would be dangerous as hell to go there

[Lie] Has been thinking herself- Turning venom into anti venom would be the difficult part...

[Doc] well... It's a digital dragon so presumably the venom works like a virus. It gets past the firewall of your player skin and starts making fatal system errors. But that means it's actually a series of commands, so - hir voice is increasing in speed - if I can map out the command list like a DNA strand I can reverse it and have you make the resulting code into something that can be planted and ingested!

[Lie] - Oh! Okay, and how are you planning on doing that?

[Doc] is rather excited now- same way I do everything Pinky! I need a command block, the analysis might take a few hours at least but it should work. Mind if I just set it up here?

[Lie] - Oh, uh, sure... Go right ahead...

[Stevie] Runs in- Father! Father!

[Doc] thanks! - Drops a command block and starts fiddling with it- [Notch] Hey Stevie, why so excited?

[Stevie] - I... I went aaaaaall the way to the bar by myself! And, and, I got us food!

[CP] Sneaks in via the window arches on the bridge having followed Stevie to make sure no mobs still left about got to him-

[Notch] How did you do that?! I thought Cp was watching you.

[Stevie] - I snuck away!

[CP] Comes into the room shaking his head a little-

[Notch] I swear I can feel some of this black hair going gray...

[Doc] Really?! Where?

[Notch] it's just an expression...

[CP] Suddenly snatches Stevie up who shrieks in laughter- There you are!

[Notch] I'm finding it very hard to believe Stevie could sneak away from you Cp.

[CP] Scowls at Notch-

[Lie] Giggles a little before mentally speaking to Notch- I can guarantee he didn't, CP didn't have that bit of blood on his pants earlier. He was following his brother, making sure he stayed safe

[Notch] Tries to acknowledge Lie without letting on too much

[Doc] Getting rusty huh?

[CP] Flips Doc off-

[Doc] So why do you want the server number? I supect that seed may be attached to Jeb's actual computer.

[Notch] Considering how obsessed he was with it that doesn't suprise me at all. He acts like his favorite fish jumped out of the tank.

[Stevie] Pulls out the spaghetti- Look what I got brother!

[CP] - I see...

[Notch] That looks tasty.

[Stevie] - I got it for us to eat

[Lie] - Doc, didn't TLOT bring a priestess of Jeb's or something like that?

[Doc] Oh yeah, that's Beanz. I think she didn't want to come so much as she was there when shit went down and it was 'take her with the others or leave her to die a thousand chunks from her home'.

[Lie] - I see... Notch, think it would be worth it to talk to her?

[Notch] I'm not sure I should talk to her at all. I promised to stay out of the villagers sight so they don't freak out, remember?

[Lie] - Oh, right...

[CP] - What are you two talking about anyways?

[Doc] I can do it. I know where she lives. Oh, the seed TLOT and Steve came from.

[Notch] We think it belongs to Jeb, like, it's on his personal PC.

[CP] - And this is important why?

[Notch] Because it's Jeb's birthday and we're discussing ways to let him know that the brine he helped didn't die. As a present of sorts. He's getting suspicious because he thinks I'm avoiding him. I can tell him whoever goes is a hacker friend of mine or something.

[Lie] - Who would go anyways? I mean, that's a decision that we have to think about really carefully...

{CP] - I'll go if I'm allowed to kill his avatar after delivering the news

[Doc] Well at least I would spawn in already in creative since that was my last mode there. I cut into the server codes shortly after arriving the first time. And his avatar wouldn't be there anyway. From what TLOT has told me he always speaks through the Testificate priests and preistesses of his temple, probably to maintain an air of mystery and keep them on their toes.

[CP] - Well then count me out

[Doc] We probably won't have much time before their NOTCH realizes we're there. You're free to fight him if you want.

[Lie] - But wouldn't the NOTCH there recognize you Doc? Wouldn't it make it harder for you to deliver the message?

[Doc] Yes, most likely, but if I'm transformed it might take longer to be noticed. And I'm not who I was when I was there. I wasn't even a brine back then.

[Lie] - I don't think that's a good idea, your other form would probably terrify everyone there and quickly draw attention... We need to send somebody who can defend themselves but at the same time not seem like a threat at all...

[Doc] But you won't have a fast travel method or access to the admin codes without me. Besides, I can change right before we hit the city.

[Lie] - I don't know... I don't like the idea of a group going... One person is far less noticeable...

[Doc] You need me Lie. And if we're attacked, which I think is likely, you'll be glad of my aid.

[Lie] - What!? I never said anything about going!

[Doc] Fine. - a bit sullen- I'll go alone then. I can travel underground without a rider anyway.

[CP] - Oh fuck no! She is not going there!

[Notch] You probably shouldn't go alone....

[CP] - Anyone who went anyways would need to hide their features...

[Doc] When you log on it shows up in the chat. What good is a disguise?

[CP] - To hide the eyes dumbass

[Doc] I can put on contacts, remember? Mine aren't that bright.

[Lie] - But who would be best to go with you?

[CP] - Not you

[Doc] Loud thoughts - Cp would be best, if not Lie...

[CP] - Nope, not happening, neither one of us....

[Lie] - Why me Doc?

[Doc] You have formidible powers Lie. Don't sell yourself short like that.

[Lie] - Ah, but if it comes down to a fight I'm not that good

[CP] Growls- She's not going...

[Doc] Spread hir arms helplessly. - I can't take TLOT, all hell will break loose instantly, even if I could convince him.

[Lie] Bites her lip- Fine, I'll go, but there's something I'd like you to make first Doc, let me go get something

[CP] - What!? No!

[Doc] Anything Lie. - Watches her with naked curiousity.

[Lie] Is gone for a few moments before returning with the cloak TLOT made for CP- Can you make me a copy of this but with a hood? It will help to hide my hair and eyes. Plus in a way I'll then have CP's protection with me...

[Notch] Awwwwww.

[CP] - Lie...

[Doc] I would love to, Lie. - clicks on it and starts pulling and shaping a hood onto the copy.

[CP] Pulls Lie aside- Don't do this... Please, you don't know what the aggressive NOTCH's are capable of...

[Doc] Then come with us.

[Lie] - I'll have Doc with me, I should be fine...

[CP] Growls- I'd rather she not go at all!

[Doc] You know I can move like greased lightning Cp, I'm not going to fight if I don't have to.

[CP] Grumbles and turns his attention completely on Lie- If your going through with this asinine plan then don't hesitate to call for me, I'll rip open a way and bring you back... Okay?

[Lie] Leans up onto her toes and kisses CP- Understood

[Notch] Please be careful. Both of you.

[Lie] Takes the finished cloak and pulls it on- We'll try to be

[Doc] We should talk to Beanz first though. I don't know if she'd want to go home, but I don't feel right in going without asking her.

[Lie] - Lead the way then

[CP] Hands Stevie off to Notch- I'm going to go talk with Endrea

[Doc] I also don't know where Kore is, she might have coordinates for me.

-The village is filled with kids running around. Some are helping out in some of the shops while others are daring each other to see who can climb the highest up the vines towards the buildings in the sky-

[Doc] Breathes a happy sigh- So glad to see everyone bustling about and having fun. So much life.

[Lie] - Yeah, it's nice seeing the kids happy and well

[Doc] Is making gracious nods and waves to some of the Testificates. - Beanz lives over there, top floor of the hotel. Though it's more of an apartment complex these days.

[Lie] - You know her better than I, go ahead

[Doc] Has a quick chuckle at the signs inside the door and heads up the steps. The hut tub on the second floor is empty but bubbling and xe raps on the door across from it.

[Beanz] Opens the door a little and gives Doc a wry look- It must be quite an emergency to find you in town Doctor. And with a friend. Another brine?

[Lie] - Hello, I'm Lie

[Beanz] Beanz, high preistess of Jeb. Well, formerly. I'm sure I've been fired or presumed dead since I never returned this - Points to the small white bead on a thread around her neck.

[Lie] - What is it?

[Doc] Does it still work?

[Beanz] Mostly. It's a few pixels from the holy patchbook on my home seed. It used to let Jeb talk through me, but it hasn't worked since coming here. It does give me access to creative most of the time though. It was his way of keeping me safe while I ran his errands.

[Lie] - Interesting

[Beanz] I'm sorry. Come in if you want. - moves back. The room is small but clean and the doors are open to let the sun and breeze in from the outside balcony.

[Lie] Hesitantly steps inside-

[Doc] Leans against her crafting table.

[Beanz] Sorry I only have one chair. Or you can sit on the bed if you want.

[Lie] - I'm fine standing, we actually have some things to ask you

[Beanz] I suspected as much. - Her gaze is abstracted and drawn somewhat to the noise of children playing outside.

[Lie] Gives Doc an unsure look-

[Doc] Beanz... We want to deliver a message to Jeb.

[Beanz] Puts a hand around the bead protectively - I won't give it to you, it's all I have left -

[Lie] - We wouldn't dare ask you to, we were planning on going to your old seed actually...

[Doc] Beanz, if you want to go home, we'll take you with us.

[Beanz] A little too quickly - No! I mean... no... I don't have anything to go back too. As I said I'm sure my name is mud for vanishing with a bit of the book for so long. And I can't leave these people with just that... idiot Zile to provide guidence.

[Lie] - Zile?

[Beanz] He's barely a pup and he acts like he's second in command to Father Steve. He used to be a priest of Notch until he dedicated himself to serving the Lord of Tears. But he mostly just sits around writing trashy gay romance stories.

[Lie] Fights down a small fit of laughter-

[Beanz] I don't know who's more annoying, him or Flicker!

[Doc] Is trying not to laugh now.

[Lie] - Flicker's the one with all the creepers, right? She seems docile enough...

[Beanz] Gets a blush around her cheeks- she's just, annoying!

[Doc] Riiight. Flicker does keep the village safe though. Her creepers are useful.

[Beanz] Huffs-

[Lie] - Pretty sure my mate alone is the one of the main reasons why there are very few if ever any mobs around my place...

[Doc] laughs- Yeah, they're afraid of being cornered and complained at.

[Beanz] Who is your mate?

[Lie] - The very tall angry brine. And Doc? You have no idea...

[Doc] The redhead.

[Beanz] Oh! Yeah. I've seen him. Sometimes on fire?

[Lie] - Usually

[Doc] That wasn't what I came to ask you about though, I need coordinates for Kore. I've never been there and I need to find it. That last place I was was where we escaped from. Can you give me directions?

[Beanz] I think.... I mean, I remember the way I came, sort of. It's a big place, you should be able to hear and smell it before you get in view. - Starts making some notes on a scrap of paper.

[Lie] - We'll also need to be able to know which building is the temple

[Beanz] Snorts - No you don't, it's dead obvious. It's the biggest building in the city. All white quartz, steep staircases and stained glass.

[Lie] - Ah, I see

[Doc] Jeb is one of the go big or go home types...

[Beanz] Here this should help- Passes the paper to Doc who reads it and puts it away.

[Doc] I think that's good enough. Is there anything you'd like, from us?

[Beanz] Can you... take pictures? I would love a shot of the nave in the temple. Just to remember.

[Doc] I'll do that for you.

[Beanz] Thank you

[Lie] Tugs her cloak a bit closer- Are we heading out then Doc?

[Doc] Yes. Let me fire off a note to Deerheart first though- Starts quietly typing in the chat.

[Beanz] Turns to Lie. - They will fear you mis. Watch your step, and don't linger. I've seen what my home's NOTCH is capable of. It was terrifying....

[Lie] - So I've heard. I'll do my best to remain hidden. It's why I have this cloak as well.... Well, that and to have a bit of my mate with me

[Beanz] Is that... made of hair?

[Lie] - Er... Well.... Yes...

[Beanz] Touches the hem - Oh it's lovely and soft. Your mate must love you a lot.

[Doc] Smiles sweetly -

[Lie] - More like I stole his copy and had Doc modify this one to have a hood... He's still not happy about it being made of his hair

[Beanz] Oh dear! I hope you didn't shave him bald!

[Lie] - Oh no, TLOT copied a few pixels of his hair to make this

[Beanz] Chuckles- Our king is a fiesty one. But creative.

[Lie] - That he is

[Doc] Okay, I'm ready. She's not happy but she understands. Thank goodness.

[Lie] - I'm guessing you mean Deer?

[Doc] Well yes. I always try to let her know before I leave and where I'm going.

[Lie] - Alright, let's go then.

[Doc] Thank you for the help Beanz, if there's nothing more, we'll be going.

[Beanz] Good luck.

[Lie] - It was nice getting to know you

[Beanz] Gives her a happy wave- Drop by anytime.

[Lie] Follows Doc out-

[Doc] Braces hirself before making a hole in the firewall and leading Lie out before closing it behind them. They transform quietly and hunker down in the sea of statick and void to offer a seat to their friend.

[Lie] Slips onto Doc and pulls up the hood of the cloak to hide her hair and eyes- We should probably land close to Kore and have you change back, otherwise I don't think we'll be able to get a single word through

[Doc] I can't do it directly, I have to come in where I went out and go from there so I can use the directions Beanz gave me.

[Lie] - I understand that, I just meant when we do reach our destination

[Doc] xe's already seeking out the numbers, retracing the path they ran such a long time ago. -Of course.

[Lie] Is rather nervous about doing this-

[Doc] Finds the seed and takes a deep breath before entering it quietly. The scene before them is desolation. The jungle is a mass of fallen trees and the swamp has much deeper lakes now as the rains have filled the craters that were carved into the biome. Little remains of the house that was on the hill and there's a glow from a ribbon of lava running down into the grass.

Alexsezia's house looks like it exploded and there isn't much left of even the foundations.

[Lie] - All this... Done by a NOTCH?

[Doc] I don't think this is even the worst of it... He wasn't even a person, just.. it was like being attacked by a hurricane.

[Lie] - I've seen the devastation those can cause on tv...

[Doc] Walks down the little path, thunderstruck by the sheer force of the damage. The dirt pyramid is a just a triangle of one side leaning crazily, and the remains of the Testificate houses are lying in huge pits as if the ground was scooped up under them and thrown back down. Even the low bedrock wall is smashed and grass grows around the scattered blocks.

[Lie] - I'm so glad you got them away from this Doc...

[Doc] It was a near miss. I'm just glad we were able to give them a head start and make sure no one was left behind. - Xe smells something and trots forward at a quicker pace - I smell fire.

[Lie] - Maybe from some lava?

[Doc] Passes around a chunk of wall and stops short. - Well... at least we know they weren't forgotten. - In front of them, at what was once the entrance to the village, is a cleared patch, a simple base of cobblestones set into the dirt and atop it, burning with the Nether's eternal fire, is a small summoner pyramid.

[Lie] Smiles a little- Perhaps there's still a small group passing along TLOT's teachings?

[Doc] There was a little fishing village run by a witch that swore fealty to them a few chunks away. They likely built the shrine in their memory.

[Lie] - Good

[Lie] - Perhaps we should leave them a gift as well to let them know they're not forgotten?

[Doc] What would you suggest? A miracle of some sort?

[Lie] - Well I was thinking just a few of my flowers

[Doc] That would be lovely Lie. - Xe trots up next to the pyramid and stands for Lie to reach down or dismount.

[Lie] Slides off and feels the ground. The server feels a bit different than what she's used to, but it didn't cause much of a problem as she concentrated. Blooms sprung gracefully from the ground, lantern flowers, calming flowers, healing flowers, and even a few love blooms, the bright gathering of flora surrounding the summoner-

[Doc] Bows hir head to smell them. - That's lovely Lie. Thank you. I'm just glad they weren't forgotten.

[Lie] - So am I- She climbs back up onto Doc- Should we go?

[Doc] Yes, I'm sure we won't have long before.... one of them notices we're here. Don't say their names, just in case. - Xe mounts the airblocks and takes off at a run over the river valley and up over the thickly wooded hills.

[Lie] Pulls the cloak closer to defend against the wind-

[Doc] Moves faster until the ground is flashing below them, woods and plains and them out over the desert-

[Lie] Clings tightly to Doc's mane just so she wont be blown off-

[Doc] Is scanning the directions in hir inventory and making small corrections. Xe looks back for a second and cannot hide the small shudder of fear that passes through hir. The lengthing shadows of the sand hills seem too dark, as does the sky in the direction they came from.

[Lie] Felt the shudder- Doc? Is everything okay?

[Doc] I'm going to assume no even though it may just be my paranoia... - Xe goes faster, touching against a mountain before taking a long leap out over the vastness below them.

[Lie] Sits there, hoping Doc is wrong but sensing they may be right-

[Doc] There it is! Beanz was right, there's no mistaking the temple. - They hit the side of a cliff and cling there upright in a shadow. - Hang on to my mane and I'll get us down.

[Lie] - Already am Doc

[Doc] Turns nearly upside down and scuttles down the wall like a gecko before stepping down on the ground.

[Lie] Once safely on the ground she slides off- Do you want to talk to Jeb or should I?

[Doc] We'll both go. I'm not taking my eyes off of you for a second. - Xe pulls out two green pixels and squints a bit as xe puts them over the glow of hir mint colored pupils.

[Lie] - Well I figured that much

[Doc] Heads for the city with a determined stride- Come on, lets hurry.

[Lie] Follows Doc, making sure her glow is hidden by the cloak-

-A few Testificates look up as they pass, unused to seeing visitors. Some quietly run ahead to the temple to let the clergy know they have outsiders in their midst.-

[Lie] Bites her lip a bit nervously, she's holding back her power, knowing that just a little of it could leave a trail of flora behind her-

[Doc] Takes the marble stairs two at a time, thrilling quietly knowing this was the same place hir friends had tread so long ago.

-The high windows catch the sun and bathe them both in dazzling colored light as they pass the front doors and emerge into a white anteroom.-

[Lie] Lifts her head just enough to look at everything around her but not allow the glow from her eyes to be visible-

-A priest moves to bar the way before they can enter the inner sanctum. They're older then the ones that peer at them curiously from farther down the hall, they also look rather nervous. -

[Mason] May I ask why a pair of griefers have entered the temple of Jeb? And what you intend here?

[Lie] - We have come to speak to Jeb, we bear a message for his ears only

[Mason] That will be difficult as our god only speaks through those of us chosen as his mouthpieces.

[Lie] - I think he may be willing to make an exception

[Doc] We're not griefers anyway...

[Mason] Who else would show up uninvited? We have not seen humans here in a very, very long time.

[Lie] - Please, we speak truthfully

[Mason] Hmph. Fine, what does it matter? Liars wil be smote for their hubris anyway. Follow me. - opens the door to the larger chapel

[Lie] Silently follows him into the room-

-Inside the great book is lying at an angle on it's pedestal, and there's a faint sound of scratching as it writes in itself with some unseen instrument. -

[Mason] Makes a gesture and the penitents clear out the other visitors and then leave as well to fetch Jeb's emmisaries.

[Lie] Glances at Doc- Do we wait or...?

[Mason] You will wait here. His chosen ones will pray for his attentions and if you are lucky he may deign to speak to you.

-Several Testificates in white robes of varying sexes and ages file in and kneel in a line in front of the book, chanting softly. -

[Lie] Watches in interest before mentally speaking to Doc- I swear if this is the one time the arrogant asshole decides to ignore them...

[Doc] Makes the tiniest snort and Mason gives hir a mean look in response.

-There's a bit of a crackle like someone plugging in a microphone and one of the Testificates stands up, staring straight at the book. The others take note and file out of the room without a word.

[Mason] Makes a gesture towards the standing one - Say your piece and leave us to ours. - He turns with a flourish and shuts the door behind him. Leaving them alone with the standing Testificate.

[Doc] Careful, these guys remember what was said through them afterwards. If you want Jeb himself we'll have to ask for that first.

[Lie] Steps forwards- Jeb? We have come to speak with you, and you alone...

[Testificate] Cocks hir head, and their eyes narrow - You.... You stay right the hell here. Don't move an inch.

[Lie] Is confused- Are you referring to me? Or my companion?

[Testifcate] Both of you, damn it. - There's a bit of consternation on the priests face as the god leaves him and he marches out of the room and shuts the door behind him.

-/ Player _Jeb has logged on /-

[Jeb] His avatar looks like a Greek god crowned with laurel leaves and he advances on them in aggravation. - How did you two get on here? This computer is protected and private dammit!

[Lie] - Er... Um...

[Jeb] Shakes a finger at Doc - and YOU, didn't you cause enough damage the last time? You took my Herobrine!

[Lie] - That's... Actually kinda why we're here?

[Jeb] What?! Where is he?

[Doc] They were about to be killed!

[Lie] - First of all, this is Markus' birthday present to you, understood?

[Jeb] Markus? - He falls silent. Then. - Did he have some part in this? Dammit. I told him not to interfere!

[Lie] - He didn't, he was invited to, well, it's really none of your business... Now do you want your damn present or not!?

[Jeb] Present? What the hell are you talking about?

[Lie] - Knowledge... About a certain fellow brine

[Jeb] What... what do you know?

[Lie] - He's safe, so is his mate in a server where they are surrounded by friends including the two of us here. They have all the freedom they could ask for, and none of the fear they had here

[Jeb] Is just standing there dumbfounded.

[Doc] Please tell me you weren't blocking them in here intentionally.

[Jeb] Of course I fucking was! The NOTCH on this seed is insane. I was hoping he and his pet Steve would find a clever way to kill it! The damn thing roams around freely on any seed I load, but it always stays close to my computer. It's a menace!

[Lie] Rolls her eyes- It's not the only NOTCH... And Steve isn't a pet!

[Jeb] I didn't say it was the only one. I just wanted this one in particular gone! Why do you think the Testificates worship me here? I've helped them rebuild after it wrecked their shit trying to grief me!

[Lie] - Yet you refuse to do anything to help any of us!

[Jeb] Waves his arms at her - What do you want me to do? I don't even know who you two are! Just that this one hacked into my server once before!

[Lie] Lowers her hood, her hair glowing brightly from her anger- I'm bitchy cat

[Jeb] What the fuck...? You're a cat that can use a computer?!

[Doc] Lie, I don't think you should-

[Lie] - No, I'm a brine dumbass!

[Jeb] A brine that can.. be a real cat....? Did you do something to Markus?! WHERE IS HE?!

[Lie] - Safe and happy

[Jeb] That sounds... like you kidnapped him. I know he hasn't been home in weeks.

[Doc] He's just spending a lot of time online....

[Lie] Some of her black thorns are curling around her feet-

[Doc] Lie please... calm down!

[Lie] - I'm trying!

[Doc] Look... the truth is... Markus had a stroke. His features are frozen on half his face and he just doesn't want anyone to see how bad it looks. He's hiding while he looks for someone qualified to repair the worst of it. He's really depressed and staying with us.

[Jeb] That's terrible! But who are you? Really? I mean how many players are there out there who call themselves Herobrine? And a cat on a computer? You're just messing with my head.

[Lie] Is shaking a little in anger and mentally speaks to Doc- For once, I want CP to drag somebody in just so he can beat the crap out of them

[Doc] I'm just a hacker, a friend of Markus's. I found your server on accident the first time, and took pity on your brine. We're just here to tell you they're safe and happy. It's Markus's present to you since he knows you've been worried.

[Jeb] He could have gotten them back...

[Lie] - They wouldn't have wanted to come back and for good reason!

[Jeb] But... what about this damn NOTCH? I really thought he could beat it. Now I don't know what to do.

[Lie] - Well to fucking bad for you

[Jeb] Is fuming- Where. is. Markus.

[Doc] Not telling.

[Lie] - Safe! Just like TLOT and Steve

[Jeb] You really don't give a shit do you? Neither of you?

[Doc] I kinda do...

[Lie] - We give more of a shit than you do

[Jeb] Gets an evil tone in his voice. - You know that TLOT left a lot of people behind who really believe in him, don't you? Testificates that worship him over me even though he hasn't been seen in decades for them?

[Lie] - Yes, and we left something for them

[Jeb] Help me get rid of this NOTCH or I'll delete this seed. If you try to evacuate them I'll do it immediately. You'll never find them all in time.

[Lie] Stiffens and before Doc can stop her, her thorny vines are around Jeb and lifting him high- How. Dare. You.

[Jeb] Grabbing my avatar won't do anything. I'm not here.

[Lie] - Doc! Can we please let my mate do his thing?!

[Doc] I'm actually for killing this NOTCH if it's possible. I don't give a shit about what Jeb wants, but I know all the terrible things it did to TLOT and Steve.

[Lie] Groans- But he's such an asshole!

[Jeb] I'll give you the whole damn seed if you get rid of it! I can't even play my own game in peace!

[Lie] - We have our own seed thank you very much!

[Doc] I could maintain it as a sub in the server. Just to keep it safe?

[Lie] - Can we please still let CP do his thing to Jeb though!

[Doc] loud thoughts at Lie- Do what thing? Kill him? Somehow I don't think that will solve anything. We'll lose our insider for what the company is doing.

[Lie] Mentally- No, drag him in and beat the shit out of him

[Doc] Slaps hir forehead- Lie please... Maybe later.

[Lie] - OH COME ON!

[Doc] Stares at her - are you sure whatever Cp has isn't contagious?

[Lie] - Look, it takes a lot to piss me off, you know that, and this guy has done it... Multiple times... Besides, if we fight this NOTCH, CP will probably already be here

[Doc] Alright. -Xe pauses- I think... we don't have much time to decide...

[Lie] - Should I call CP?

[Jeb] Fuck! Figure it out! I'm monitoring from the desktop. If one of you needs to go for more help that's fine, but if both of you leave I'm deleting it. -

-/ Player_Jeb logged off /-

[Doc] YES. Fucking hell call him now! And Splender too! - Xe grabs Lie and starts dragging her outside

[Lie] Sends a mental call for her mate and briefly explains the situation. CP immediately rips open a pathway and drags Splender through with him-

[CP] Gathers Lie to him, not used to seeing her this pissed and works on calming her down- Hey, it's okay, I'm here- He throws out a spawn egg and out pops the baby wither as well

[Splender] - ooo, what a pretty place!

[Doc] We need to get away from the city at least!

[Lie] At CP- Yeah, but first could you scare the asshole monitoring us right now?

[CP] Grins and kisses Lie's forehead- Absolutely- He vanishes briefly before returning

[Jeb] Nearly falls out of his chair at the sight on his screen - AAAAAA!!

-The screen glitches and CP's maniacal laughter echoes out of the speakers before everything returns to normal like nothing happened-

[Doc] Is pointing to a an area of darkness that's now filling a rather large slice of the horizon. Xe's tugging on the others- Let's do this in the desert at least!

[Splender] - What are we doing?

[Doc] See that? That is a NOTCH. We need to find some way to kill it without wrecking this seed.

[Splender] - But why do we need to kill it?

[Doc] Because if we don't then the admin is going to delete this world and kill every Testificate on it!

[CP] - And that's bad how? TLOT's village is on our seed

[Doc] But there were more! So many.... he crossed this world... you have no idea how many lives he touched.

[CP] Groans-

[Doc] You do what you like. I'm going to fight. - Xe transforms into hir larger shape and gallops in the direction of the desert with a thunderous roar.

-In the distance the patch of night seems to coallese and there's a wave at gound level as something dark pours out onto the sand. An army of mobs, driven by the fear of what follows them.

[CP] Sighs and throws a small ball of code at the baby wither, it shudders and grows to several times the size of a normal wither, each head turning canine with large fangs and resting at the ends of long snake like necks, it charges forwards as well. CP then turns towards Splender- Splender, this thing we're fighting? It's hurt TLOT and Steve many, many times and very badly for no reason. It wants them both dead, do you think they deserve that?

[Splender] Growls a little- No- There's a growing red light in his eyes as he ducks his head and tilts his top hat so hide his face a little. CP knows it's a risky move to anger the slender being, but probably worth it

[Doc] Shouts from overhead - The only thing that ever hurt this NOTCH was bad code! Go for the EMP if you can make a controlled burst! Glitch it out!

[Splender] - Gladly- He teleports to the very front and lets off a strong blast, the ground and everything around him glitching

[Doc] Is gathering statick in hir mouth and scattering the mobs with wide sweeps of hir paws and tail.

[NOTCH] Roars in fury and there's a hint of a shape against the skyline

[CP] Motions for Lie to stay back and flies forwards-

[NOTCH] Is hitting and kicking the ground, even to the point of injuring the mobs beneath his feet. Sand is flying everywhere as the storm that swirls around the titanic being reaches the floor of the desert.

[CP] Spawns his weapons and flies with the direction of the wind as it circles the NOTCH-

[Wither] Spews it's attacks in rapid succession-

[NOTCH] Is punching the air, trying to hit the small things that are attacking it.

[Splender] Let's loose with a staticky screech and sends an EMP blast forwards-

[Doc] Fires a giantic ball of statick that hits the being with a geltaninus splat and clings there, burning like acid and making part of the NOTCH visible.

[NOTCH] Reels under the force of the screech and is desperately trying to get the statick off of itself.

[Lie] Is concentrating from a ways back, the sand shifting beneath her as something moves underneath-

[NOTCH] Stumbles a little under the combined pain and some of the mobs flee at a dead run to keep out from under his feet.

[CP] Darts in to slash at tendons which could weaken the NOTCH, keeping himself alit in fire all the while-

[NOTCH] Howls in a voice that is more like the roar of a hurricane. It's bleeding code and trying to hit CP out of the air.

[CP] Teleports to make it harder-

[Doc] Uses the admin commands to drop bolt after bolt of lighting on the NOTCH while they make more statick

[Lie] From beneath the NOTCH erupts a massive offensive plant pod, ripping open and dripping with massive amounts of lust nectar as it bites down on the NOTCH and tries dragging it into the sand some-

[NOTCH] Falls and grabs hold of the rocky cliff to keep from being pulled under, it's eyes are black holes in the vaguely human shape that's outlined against the sand.

[Lie] Wobbles, the plant pod having taken much more energy than she thought and taking a noticeable strain on her energy-

[Doc] Spews more statick right into it's eyes-

[CP] Aims for the throat- HONEDGE! GET THE SPINE!

[NOTCH] Flails at the plant, trying to rip it off

[Honedge] Unwraps itself from CP and nimbly dances in front of the NOTCH, it's shadow reaching behind him and striking the back of the neck-

-The plant is trying to wrench a piece off-

[Splender] Releases another burst, his hands having elongated into claws as he rushes forwards to dig into the NOTCH, his tendrils having also become deceptively sharp to stab their victim-

[Doc] Grabs one of the flailing hands and savages it with teeth and claws.

[CP] His sword dug deep into the throat, coating him in blood-

[NOTCH] Is sparking and screaming as it's cut and yanked apart. The body itself is flickering wildly.

[Splender] Releases a very strong blast-

[NOTCH] Vanishes out of their grasp, leaving a small prone figure in the sand. The body of the NOTCH is in pieces and the mostly severed head manages a single zombie-like groan.

[CP] Dives down and slices right through the remainder of the neck with his sword and then focus' on stabbing the body over and over again with his pick before setting it alight-

[Doc] Stomps the ground and gives off a roar that shakes the sandhills. The remainder of the mobs flee in terror.

[Lie] Wobbles and falls to her knees, having used too much energy-

[Splender] Is pacing to let off his excess anger-

[Doc] WE WON JEB! THE SEED IS OURS! GIVE US THE CODE!

[CP] - Wait, what? Were we ordered to do this?

-/ player_Jeb logged on /-

[Jeb] Is practically dancing in place - You fucking did it! That was amazing!

[Doc] Fuck you! I didn't do it for you!

[CP] Lunges at Jeb- YOU FUCKER!

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benjamingarden · 5 years ago

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Weekending

Oliver is sleeping on the couch (and hogging all the blankets) while I write this post

Weekending was originally posted by My Favorite Chicken Blogs(benjamingardening)

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arplis · 5 years ago

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Arplis - News: Awesome Bbq Smoker Accessories

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Put out over 500 pork chops, 30 lbs. of grilled boudin, smoked 20 racks of . #BbqSmokerAccessoriesUk #BestBbqSmokerAccessories #BbqGaloreSmokerAccessories #BbqSmokerGrillCajun #BbqSmokerKaufen

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/awesome-bbq-smoker-accessories

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